Feel guilty about having sex? Amma tells you how to move past it.

Sex Amma, I have found the man I love but I’m new to these experiences of sexual relations. But somewhere I feel a bit guilty of having sex due to the social taboos relating to sex. What should I do Amma?

My darling idli, worry not! Amma understands this feeling of guilt all too well and has been familiar with it from before she discovered the delights of sex. Remember that it is only our society that makes you feel this way. It is not unusual to feel that having sex is immoral, especially in a country like ours. But you are not doing anything wrong. It is only natural (and pleasurable) to explore each others’ bodies sensually. If you are sure that you want to be with this man, then go ahead! Your college days are when you enjoy the most – Amma definitely did! The guilt will decrease with time as you take charge of your own body, and the sensations will overpower arbitrary social taboos, as they should!

But in the heat of the moment, don’t forget to be safe! If you are new to such experiences, always remember the importance of condoms. And while you’re at it, Amma recommends investing in products that will enhance your relations even further. Heat up things with dosa in the bedroom to ensure you have a fulfilling experience every time you decide to get your chutneys flowing.

At the end of the day, what matters most is your well-being, both physical and mental. Amma hopes that eventually, a country with a growing youth population would not look down upon you for having sex – and neither should you. Embrace your sexuality, and make the most of it!

Q. Amma, I have recently discovered the joys of personal pleasuring and some visual aid. It feels wonderful but the guilt or the inhibition doesn’t go away. I’ve been reading and talking to people and experimenting about the idea but the awkwardness seems to get the better of me. 

Will I ever stop judging myself? How do I? Please help!

My self-doubting little macchi, you simply need to understand that this is completely normal. Amma understands where this awkwardness stems from: it’s only because masturbating Inflatable water slide is considered a taboo in this country. But understand, that it’s as natural a phenomenon as breathing (yes, Amma doesn’t exaggerate when it comes to sex!) If you feel good, then you shouldn’t question your choice of doing it.

Your guilt, or inhibition, shall go away only when you remove the idea of masturbation being something ‘unnatural’ from your mind. All you little dosas and idlis like to experiment with things, use the ‘visual aid’, as you term it, to fuel your imagination. This is just a part of exploring your sexuality and gaining confidence about the same.

Here’s a tiny tip: Don’t listen to what the world says about masturbation. It’s not unnatural and it’s always healthy to talk about it. Don’t let awkwardness shy you away. And just on a side-note, know that almost everyone does it! What’s the harm in a pinch of salt if it adds taste to your meal, after all?

Ques: Amma, I am a really fat/overweight girl, and I am expectedly insecure about it. I met this guy on Facebook and we have become close. He doesn’t mind my weight and he still wants to go out with me and wishes to get into a physical relationship too. I don’t mind the latter but I don’t want to be romantic with him. What do I do?

Ans: Aiyyo, my dear idli; first things first. If you’re slightly on the healthier side, it’s nothing you should be insecure Mechanical bull for sale about. Having a confident opinion about your body structure is the most important for a healthy body image. And between you and me, everyone is fond of fluffier idlis (if you know what I mean)!

As for your concerns, Amma is glad that you are aware of what you want. But as good as this is, it is important that you make it clear to him as well that you would not like to get carried away in romance. Because if it isn’t, eventually things between you may become unpleasant just like a bad meal when the chutney doesn’t go well with the dosa! It’s very important that both of you are on the same page so that no one has higher expectations and lands up getting hurt eventually.

With this, it’s also important that you get to know this person in reality. Virtual connections do not always turn out to be a happy affair. And if it works out fine for you, well then, go ahead with the business you want to invest in! And Amma recommends you to share what you both like and spice it up! Rest assured, the experience shall be better than the best rasam you’ve ever tried in your life!

Have a question for Sex Amma? Mail her at [email protected]!