Latest
DU Beat – Delhi University's Independent Student Newspaper
Tag

Sex Amma

Browsing
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: Sex During Periods?

By

‘‘Can I have sex during periods?” is a million-dollar question which young and curious munchkins wonder and write to Amma about! Fret not, Amma is here to answer it.
Period sex can be a bit messy and can make people self-conscious, but it is safe. Just because you’re on your period, doesn’t mean that you have to forego the sweet, sweet pleasures of having consensual sex. Arousal is different for
every woman. However, some idlis might actually love having sex and be more sexually aroused during menstruation. Adding in a little benefit, the period flow can prove to be a natural lubricant during sex.
To all the macchis out there, do not assume that your partner might be grossed out by your period. Be open and honest with your partner. If there are hesitations, talk about the reasons behind the discomfort. My beautiful
coconut, don’t you worry; period sex is nothing to be scared of!

Period sex can help with menstrual cramps. How, you might ask. Orgasms! Orgasms trigger the release of chemicals
called endorphins – feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine. Who knows, this might be the masala you had been dying to add to your sambhar!
My dearest dosa, using protection during sex is always a good idea, no matter what part of your menstrual cycle you’re in. It’s possible for a woman to get pregnant during her period. Don’t give in to the myth of periods acting as birth control. Unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy no matter when you have it.
Another worry about having sex during your period is the risk of spreading a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) like HIV or hepatitis. These viruses live in blood, and they can spread through contact with infected menstrual blood.
Using condoms every time you have sex can reduce your risk of spreading or catching an STI.
With all this information in your little nugget head, heat up things in the bedroom to get your chutneys flowing
and enjoy. Don’t forget to tell Amma about your experience of having satisfying period sex!
Sex Amma
[email protected]
(Write to sex amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: My Boyfriend Tastes Me Down There and Gives an Unexpected Reaction

By
Sex Amma's

Dear Amma,
My boyfriend frequently asked me if he could taste me down there. I was apprehensive at first, but few days back
things got heated up and I let him. His reaction was horrible and he said it was too soon. I was torn to bits; I feel horrible about what he said. I have a lot of health problems and he knows about all of them and I feel he should have been a little sensitive towards the situation. Should I stop blaming myself? Please help.
My troubled macchi, yes you should STOP blaming yourself. For any person to open up to another in an intimate situation and to expose themselves for the first time is a sensitive moment. Revealing your inhibitions to someone is a brave task and should be treated with respect and understanding. Amma can empathize with your feelings of being torn after not getting the right response from your partner.
However macchi, Amma has had many encounters with people who do not know the intricacies of dosamaking, and she can say from experience that often the “nice people” can disrespect you in the most unlikely of moments. They might not be aware that they are being insensitive to someone’s feelings and say things out of impulse. Amma can understand that an attempt towards a conversation revolving around the issue at hand can lead to many embarrassing outcomes; but little idli, like Amma takes risks with spices in her chutneys, you need to take a risk here too. You need to communicate with him and soon! Since this matter is troubling your heart greatly and soon will start to affect your relationship, it is imperative that you talk to him and clearly express what you feel.
Dear macchi, if you care about him enough to make this work, then you need to be completely honest with him. Also if, at any time, you feel that it is not worth the effort and you are not getting the respect you deserve, then Amma suggests you walk away before the batter turns bitter. Communication is the key, but it is not worth the effort if you and your partner are not on the same page as each other.

To send in your queries to Sex Amma email us at [email protected]. We respect your confidentiality as much as you do.

Keep Reading
By
sex amma

Sex Amma Talks Role Play

By

Dear Munchkins, having Dosa and Chutney every day might get a bit boring so have a little Pizza today. This is for all you people who are thinking of experimenting with Role Playing. Fret not, Amma is here for you ready with her saucy and spicy advice.

To all my machas and machis, the most important thing is asking for consent. Be vocal about your desires and fantasies. Don’t shy away from telling the chef if you want more seasoning or cheese on your Pizza before, during, or after. The Pizza might seem too hot at first so cut boundaries to comfortably navigate through and once you dig in, it gets more palatable.

My lovely munchkins, to devour the utmost pleasure, do not overdo or overstress. Sometimes, simple prompts work best. Even if it’s one sentence like, “You didn’t do your homework” or “Who’s a bad boy?”, it can be a huge turn on. Talking through your fantasies can also work better than playing them out.

Don’t be afraid to use props. You can also add garlic breadsticks on the side. Avoid using any extremely salty sides in the beginning. If it involves something that is triggering or violent, be careful with the hotplate.

If you like having a lot of Red Chilli on your Pizza, it is always handy to have a glass of Sprite next to you. Decide a safe word with your partner that you can use to stop the role play immediately. It’s okay if you get uncomfortable during it, say the safe word and let your partner know you’d like to take a break or stop.

As a sample menu, these are the different types of Pizzas you could try, “masseuse- customer”,“nurse- doctor”, “patient-doctor”.

Do tell the chef if you liked their dish. Appreciate each other throughout the process because a little validation serves as a great confidence boost. No one knows what they’re doing either but try to enjoy the process and be ready to laugh at yourself.

If the Pizza is delivered before time, it’s not a bad idea to give the delivery boy a tip! And if you don’t enjoy it, you can always leave a bad review on Zomato (by simply letting your partner know).

Always remember, my munchkins, the bill becomes unaffordable if you forget to use contraceptives.

That’s it from Amma for this week! Hope you’re feeling all excited and ready. If you’re looking for ways to initiate it, showing/mentioning this to your partner might work!


 

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: Ways to Spice Up Your Sex-Life

By

Idlis and Uttapams, being with the same partner for a while can lead to a stern silence from down you-know-
where. There may be several reasons in your hectic routines which lead to you requiring Amma’s advice. Don’t worry,
for Amma has some tricks up her pallu to add masala to the sambhar of your life.

It is my foremost belief that you shy away from such conversations with your partners, and Amma would like to inform you that it would not lead to any fruit or, in your case, cream. So, the first advice Amma has for you is that
you should use what the big gal/guy up there gave you, to talk and voice your concerns to each other, respectfully and honestly.

In your conversations, ask them what they would be up for, because having such conversations means that you
both are interested in broadening your horizons. Explore each other and new ventures like toys, role play, or even a
third or fourth partner. Amma strongly stands by the saying, the more the merrier.

Talking dirty during the deed, sending sexy pictures to your partner, and conversing about what you would like to do to each other over texts, when you are away can get your idlis longing for some chutney. This longing can add a whole new flavour to your sex life and help keep things going. Not only is reading books the new sexy, but reading erotica and Kama-sutra together can open you up, literally and figuratively. The erotica will create a tension in the room- the kind that porn visuals essentially leaves no mystery for, and the sex-poses will give my idlis and uttapams some kinky ideas. They also create an element of newness that the somebody-down-there loves a lot. And if you’re not a reader, don’t shy away from the realm of visual pleasure.

Another way is to get out of the bedroom. Amma believes in using the space to lessen the space between partners, and a couch, or a kitchen-top, or even a shower are good places to boast a lot of action.
Sex Amma
[email protected]

(Write to sex amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered)

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: My Girlfriend is into Group Sex and Insists I do it with her Best Friend

By

Sex Amma answers your questions about hookups and complications with sheer humour and wit.
“Amma, My girlfriend is into group sex and insists I do it with her best friend. I am new to this and find it scary. What stresses me the most is my stamina and failure to perform. Please help!”
Ah, my beloved munchkin! Before you jump into a threesome you need to know what is scaring you. Is it the idea of a threesome, or performance anxiety? If the idea of a threesome makes you uncomfortable, then telling your girlfriend that with honesty is the only option.

However, if your fear of performing well, letting people (and things down) at the wrong time is holding you back, fret not! Your sexual performance depends on attraction and comfort. If you wish to pursue a threesome, get to know the third person involved. Arrange your meeting in a way that involves interaction, familiarity, and an establishment of a certain degree of comfort.
My dearest dosa, couples do set up certain rules before entering threesomes or group sex. Deciding how far you want to take it and if it will be a one-time thing or a regular event, should be discussed in advance. Amma would like to remind that as you involve someone else in your sex life (and in your sheets), their sexual health, inevitably, becomes your sexual health. Disclose and demand disclosure of any history of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), and be aware of different forms of birth control and protection from STDs.
Remember, my dearest dosa, the phrase “the more, the merrier,” is apt for your sex life as well. The only rule is to be honest, safe, and respectful. These are the cardinal rules of the holy institution of good sex, and those who respect it are generously rewarded.
Be a good host to the new idli who might be joining your sex life. Good luck and don’t forget to keep Amma updated about how it went!
Sex Amma

[email protected]
(Write to Sex Amma at [email protected] to find answers to your sexual queries).

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: Am I a Prude for not Engaging in Casual Sex?

By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma answers your questions about hookups and complications with sheer humour and wit.
Dear Amma, sex has always been a big deal for me. This mindset stops me from engaging in casual sex, but my friends get so much action and that makes me curious. Should I wait it out or am I being a prude?

My dear Macchi, whether sex is casual or serious, it entirely depends on how you feel about it. Fortunately, there is no universal definition of the meaning behind sex. It has a meaning if you want it to have meaning, and it has no meaning if you don’t want it to. My munchkin, Amma in her youth had many escapades, some with emotional sentiments attached, and some without. It is for you to figure out what you want. Remember, whether sex is meaningful or meaningless, also depends on whom you are with and whether you want it to be like that or not.
My dearest Idli, when was the last time you sat down and asked yourself what physical intimacy means to you? Without introspection, you will never be able to form well-developed ideas on the subject. You may not find all your answers in one go – and that is the point, Macchi. You are young, after all, and you have time to think it through and figure it out at your own pace. Some of your classmates and close friends must have a highly active sex life (kids these days are at it like rabbits! They give yesteryear’s Amma some serious competition). This should not influence your decision on whether you engage in casual sex or not.
My dear, keep in mind that all of us like our Sambar differently (I prefer mine to be tangier and saucier). If there can be such variation in Sambar preferences, you can only imagine how varied and vivid people’s opinions and preferences about sex would be. It will take a lot of self-reflection and an honest, open conversation with yourself for you to understand whether casual sex is your cup of tea (or bowl of Rasam). In terms of jumping into bed, Amma will give you one more nugget of advice, “when in doubt, wait it out”. If something feels wrong or makes you anxious, that is when you know, my Idli, that it isn’t going well and it’s time to think again.
If and when you realise that you can engage in casual sex, Amma would like to wish you luck. Go and get that Dosa, my precious little Idli!
Sex Amma [email protected]
(Write to Sex Amma at sexamma@dubeat. com to find answers to your sexual queries.)

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: I am Scared of Falling in Love with my ‘Friends with Benefits’ Partner

By
Sex Amma's

Sex Amma answers your queries about the world of hookups and complications with sheer humour and wit.
Dear Sex Amma, I am a virgin to the hook up culture, but I want to try it. I am simply scared of falling in love with someone who just wants to be ‘friends with benefits’ with me. Although I know that I have good conversational skills, I’m afraid I’m too shy and ugly.
My sweet chutney, Amma understands your dilemma. Such is the heat and tang of the hook-up culture that no one can really be free from it. Even Amma has experimented with many kinds of rasam in her golden days. My advice to you would be to go ahead with the experimentation, but for the right reasons and with the right macchi. Do not feel like you have to be a part of it, simply because everyone else is. Go for that experience only if you feel comfortable enough. Pick a partner you can trust and let him or her know how you like your dosa. Do not hesitate to be open about your feelings and tell him or her that you just want a physical association. Amma has swaddled many a young munchkin on her bed. Take it from me, honesty really is the best policy.
If you find yourself falling for this partner, change your routine but only if you want to. But before you do, taste other dosas, rava, paneer, and paper roast; there are many different flavours on offer. Delhi has some fine young people who, I am sure, would be more than happy to go to Saravana Bhavan with you.
Also my coconut, remember that your beauty lies in the folds of your smile, grace of your nature, and elegance of your maturity. So don’t let some boring, old idli tell you otherwise. Learn to let go of your self-depreciating thoughts. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. For instance, just because Amma is curvy and loves food, will you call her obese?
So don’t be scared to go out and meet new people. Gulp down your moru, straighten your back and jump headfirst into new horizons. But make sure that you are protected and that you unmistakably tell your partner that all you want is that sweet release.
Be happy, my idli, and enjoy your new experience to the fullest. Amma sure did.

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Dear Sex Amma, I am a Fresher to Sexual Experiences

By

Dear Sex Amma,
I am a recent school graduate and a fresher in the literal sense to sexual experiences, and a very eager one at that! All my life I have been taught to associate sex with shame. I hear college is way more liberal than school, especially when it comes to this area of life and this makes me scared. Please Amma, help me. How do I go about this?

My luscious little lamb, you are only what, 17, 18 years old? Amma understands you completely and sympathises with your intimate innocence, which I see, our lovely conservative society has had a major role in protecting. To feel that sex is something foreign and shameful is not unusual; thanks to the way we let our children grow up, despite being the world’s second largest populated country.

Do remember, that these youthful years of yours are probably the best years where you can discover your body sensually and allow yourselves the pleasure  you might not be privy to in the future due to biological constraints.

College is liberal yes, but that also does not imply you should feel any pressure to be overtly sexual. Keep in mind my curious kitten, that sex is pleasurable and needs time to be discovered. Do not allow yourself to be shamed for wanting too much or too little sex. Find other non-judgmental ripe munchkins and talk to them about your sexuality. Don’t be embarrassed about being naive about sex. Remember, every cat was a kitten once, even Amma! Your confidence in yourself is the biggest threat to anyone aiming to bring you down by their judgement.

Be sure of yourself, and explore the venereal edens of sexual pleasure and fantasy at your own time. Amma surely didn’t shy away from it. Don’t forget to be safe and always carry an umbrella in this titillating weather. After all, it’s raining men, women or whoever you’re into!

Amma wishes you a safe and lucky semester ahead!

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma – A Revolution

By

The subject of sex has been shushed in classrooms, homes, and streets, even though it is an important part of everyone’s lives. With the hush around sex comes a lack of awareness and education. DU Beat aimed to burn the taboo of sex and created its own column for sex education with Sex Amma – a fun, humourous, yet educational and helpful column that answered questions about sex and related things.

The ‘sex education’ classes back in school focused on how a child is born and what the names of all the genitals are. But what about indulging in sex out of choice? We were never taught what to do if having kids wasn’t the goal; ‘sex for pleasure’ as a concept only existed in pornography and was, quite expectedly, looked down upon. College was no different. Sure, everyone was doing it, but no one talked about it and no one asked questions; sex was still a taboo. It is difficult to learn about contraceptives if your parents change the radio station when the condom advertisement comes on, and it is impossible when the government does not play any condom advertisements during waking hours. This is what the students of the University of Delhi faced in a conservative country with an even more conservative government.

With the great free press comes great responsibility. The idea of a sex column is not novel. All leading newspapers and media use their freedom of expression to try and educate their audiences more and more about sex and related health problems through these columns. DU Beat led the charge from a student perspective. As India’s largest campus publication and as an entirely student-run platform, we felt it was our responsibility to try and answer questions that the students of the University of Delhi had about sex, relationships, and intimacy. And so, Sex Amma was introduced as a weekly column in 2008. The column was widely loved and became so popular that Hindustan Times did a special feature on it.

The queries Amma got ranged from “What is the use of flavoured condoms?” to “How do I protect myself from STDs?” and were not only limited to questions; Sex Amma got a lot of ‘fan mail’ as well in the form of inappropriate messages. During all this, the column did its part in helping its readers become more aware of sex and related topics, while also making use of the platform to wipe out the taboo around the subject by talking about things that still were not openly discussed. The queries and concerns that were received were also related to body positivity, a healthy sex life, and the LGBTQ community. Moreover, not only did the column provide educational information, it also gave advice on improving mental health.

Unfortunately, Amma’s cleavage and flash of her thong, as well as her quirky way of calling her readers idli and dosa were not appreciated by a select few, after which the conversation around Sex Amma turned into something it was never intended to be. Focus was shifted from the column that provided humour and education to DU students to the inappropriate nature of the column simply because of its subject. However, even as Amma took a break for a few months, the magnitude of her revolution was not forgotten. She sparked a change in the way people viewed sex education – there were finally answers for the many questions that were not discussed anywhere else. The column had successfully become a space for students to talk, and raise questions, about sex.

The column had one sole purpose – to provide a fun, humourous take on something that was everyone’s favourite thing to do, yet considered a taboo. Sexual health, STDs, LGBTQ rights, contraceptives, and body positivity, needed to be talked about and Sex Amma was the platform that made it possible for these queries to be answered. As firm believers in freedom of expression, we will continue to strive for a University space that does not allow taboos to hijack our education, regardless of its form. After all, it is nothing to be ashamed of, is it?

Anagha Rakta
[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
Sex Amma

Sex Amma: Of hook-ups and Tinder

By
Sex Amma

Dear Amma, my friends have been hooking up with people they met on Tinder. I am a virgin to the hook-up culture, but I want to try it. I am just scared of falling in love with someone who just wants to be “friends with benefits” with me.

People often confuse sex with love and mostly the former is the consequence of the latter – but when love is a consequence of sex, then there might be a problem for the people involved. If two people start with “friends with benefits” or “just a hook-up”, and love gets in between, then it is a rocky road that almost always leads nowhere.

The rules of modern dating

Tinder is complicated and so is modern dating. We all hate it but we are sadly a part of it – we don’t stop swiping until we find someone to be with for a couple of months and feel good about ourselves. It is never easy to find what you are specifically looking for on Tinder and sometimes people tell you that they want “more than just a hook-up but not a relationship” and sometimes people will tell you that they aren’t looking for anything serious. When it is a matter of the latter, ask yourself if you want the same thing and if you’d want the same thing one month (or six months) from now and go with it. If it is a case of the former, think about what it means – it means all the benefits of a relationship without getting or giving any commitment. There are almost equal pros and cons on both sides and make sure you go with what appeals to you more.

To feel or not to feel?

Well, it is never too late for anything! Be honest and the best option always is to tell the other person involved about how you feel to avoid miscommunications, uncertainty and heartbreaks. Even if you do fall in love, never shy away from expressing what you want and if it isn’t reciprocated, it is better to move on instead of waiting for something to happen. Remember, being friends with benefits only works when both of you are on the same page and the trick is to be open and honest about what both of you want from your “arrangement”.

Lastly, make sure you’re doing this because you want to and not just because your friends say it is “cool”. Stay protected and don’t forget to enjoy yourself!

To send in your queries to Sex Amma email us at [email protected]. Amma respects your confidentiality as much as you do.

Keep Reading
By