We often hear tales of romances from teenagers that leave us baffled and maybe even get a chuckle or two out of us. Here are excerpts from my chat with teenagers enrolled at the University of Delhi trying to figure out why teen romances seem so fickle these days.
“Everyone is always on the hunt for someone better.”This quote vividly captures much of what might come to mind when encountering corny, often irrational teen romances during your daily scroll. Criticizing teenagers for their mistakes hardly makes sense, as—despite what they may want us to believe—they are still in their formative years. Nevertheless, as someone who recently hit a miserable milestone (i.e., celebrated their 20th birthday), I thought it’d be fun exploring what the kids are up to these days. Finding people who are up for a chat is rarely a problem on college campuses, so we assembled a group of people, sat down for a cup of tea, and heard their story, trying to figure out what’s made teen romances a funny affair.
“The preferability of hookups to lasting romance in the gay space practically decreased my odds of finding love, not in Delhi anyway.”.
Gabriel, a second-year college student enrolled at the University of Delhi, laughed when making this remark, but the misery of never being able to find love couldn’t be more apparent. Dating in the queer space presents more challenges than most; to get there to begin with is a win for most. Despite the recent progress, homosexuality is still and has been historically frowned upon in most sections of the globe. Some say it’s the sexual repression that’s led to a preference for sexual pleasure over lasting romance in masculine/gay corners of the queer space that Gabriel referred to earlier.Another historical explanation often cited is the trickle-down effect of the sexual liberation movement across the West in the second half of the 20th century which retains its essence in various sections of the queer community to this day.
“Such is life that it began the very week I stepped foot in Delhi,” said Gabriel with another poignant smile, telling how he thought he’d found love in someone who’d go on to ghost him later. Heck, they even shared birthdays!!He seemed rather at odds with how he felt about apps like Grindr, which on one hand have made dating fellow queer mates more convenient than ever and have helped him make new friends in a city relatively unfamiliar but also led to people fearing/moving away from commitment, given the barrage of options that they have now. Despite his abysmal run in the Delhi dating scene, we are hoping he twins birthdays with someone very soon!
While Gabriel’s story reflects a rather unlucky tale of teenage romance, others like Serena view queer relationships with a fondness I had hardly seen before.” I’ve had breakups before; nothing has hurt the way it hurts when she’s upset with me.” Boy, could she have put it any better? Her tale is different from that of Gabriel in that she has found herself a partner, her first and, as she hopes, last. Our chat reminded me about the variables that make young love so pure. She explained how appreciative she is of having someone she can rely on emotionally when the going gets tough, someone to help kickstart her day and, similarly, help end it. Serena speaks in glowing terms of life feeling as though it’s being viewed through rose-tinted glasses when you’re emotionally invested in someone you love, naturally not a big fan of hookups.
How often do we see videos about red flags and green flags in relationships on our tabs? These videos often reduce attraction, which could be multifaceted to very shallow and non-pluralistic parameters, i.e., music, movies, and whatnot. And because the algorithms are designed in such a way that they get us stuck in an echo chamber of like-minded people who subconsciously affect our decisions. This perhaps can explain why so many young people increasingly feel more and more caged with their partners once the initial happy-go-loving phase is over. Serena too cautions people against other mono-ritualistic parameters being deciding factors for something as multifaceted as love. “Why even bother dating if you aren’t even emotionally invested in them?” she recalled dismissing my question about music potentially playing a big role in her relationship…
Serena was someone who found comfort in emotional investment, yet in a world that’s growing at breakneck speed, that is something that’s becoming an increasingly rare virtue. In the last of my chats, I ran into Rob and Miley, sharing their insights on the matter.
” The fear of commitment in the world of fast fashion is what puts people off of long-term relationships.”
Rob remarked when asked about the deteriorating state of a meaningful connection in recent years. This led to a brief chatter about the rise in situationships, as not so long ago, it used to be synonymous with what you call the “talking stage” but has now taken the long-term route, often leaving people somewhere in the middle for months. Not sure whether it’s the “old man speak” in me, but maybe we should do away with it, at least this iteration of it, where it may last as long as 6 months, if not more.
Miley, on the other hand, was harsh on people giving up at the first hurdle they came across. “Everyone is looking for someone better than their current partner or isn’t willing to work it out when things get hard. They seek an easy way out,” she recalled when asked about the problems with most modern relationships. It made sense, given the number of people who avoid conversations, misjudging them for confrontation, and proceed to let the resentment build up inside of them instead of talking things out and attempting to resolve conflicts.
Ultimately, these conversations revealed what might not be the revelation one may have been expecting but was important nonetheless. Like anything else in life, love, for better or for worse, is multifaceted, with various dimensions affecting an array of people. From Gabriel’s misfortune to the raw beauty of Serena’s first love to Rob’s tale of naturally becoming indifferent to his ex-partner. As he so succinctly put it:
“My previous relationships fell apart as there was not enough attachment; maybe we didn’t try hard enough to cherish each other, and over time, we became indifferent towards each other.”
Read also: Nostalgia and Break Ups That Engulf Valentine’s Day
Featured Images credits: Hindu College
Yash Raj