sex amma

Sex Amma on Starting Conversations

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Providing guidance to the students of DU since 2008 on matters of sex, dating and intimacy, Amma is back again this week with her dose of advice.


Question: How to start a conversation with a random girl you like?

My dearest,

“Man is by nature a social animal,” said some great man (pardon my memory with names kanna) but I believe they forgot to package us with an instruction manual on how to actually be social. I see you kids tick-ticking on those phones of yours while you sit in the same rooms and at the same tables. I see you not talking and then crying over how you have no one to talk to. But that isn’t it, is it? Back when I was young, then also these people had no idea how to approach someone. Well, what are you to expect from a generation whose movies tabooed even kissing (oh, those poor violated flowers).

But you young kids of the new generation have it so much better. Things are so much more open and talked about now. So frankly, the only thing I can tell you is that the only way to have a conversation is to just have one. Although kutty, don’t be one of those creeps who just won’t take a no for an answer or leave. When you do approach someone, remember the three Rs: Respect, Realize, and Retreat (if required)— respect their space, their time, and most importantly, their response; realize if the conversation is not going in the direction you wanted it to or if you’re making them uncomfortable; and please, please don’t come off as a hyperactive serial killer but just retreat if they don’t seem okay with the conversation. 

I know these Bollywood movies taught you uski na mein bhi haan hai but trust me when I say that’s not the case. Everyone appreciates a compliment. Everyone appreciates respect. Lead with that. Know your limits and theirs. Don’t do anything amma won’t approve of. I know it takes a lot of guts to talk to your one true love (of the moment) but you don’t want to leave them emotionally scarred for life. 

So live, laugh, love, do whatever you want, but just don’t do it at the expense of others. Remember kanna, life is short but you aren’t going to find the love of your life by being chep.




Want to ask Amma a query? Mail it to [email protected].

Obsessed with everything art, literature, and history, Manasvi (also identified as "that feminist type") is someone who WILL annoy you to death talking (whenever her anxious brain allows her to). Never says no to food and always says yes to museums, if you want someone who will rarely let you read her poetry, but will always (exaggeratingly so) recite it to you, you're most welcome.

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