My Dearest Kannas,

Look who has returned! After some well-deserved vacation, Sex Amma is back to her kunjungal, listening to your problems, giving you advice that you may or may not have asked for, and helping all you DU students on matters of sex, dating, intimacy and troublesome friends.

Some of you may remember me from the good old days of DU Beat, I do remember them very fondly myself. Every other week, one of you children would write to me with some fresh catastrophe, and I would sigh at the enormity of juvenile angst that I had bestowed upon myself. Ah, youth! What a time indeed. I have seen many things in my time, children. I have made questionable decisions myself. I, too, have loved people who loved themselves more, trusted people who should have been watched more carefully and once took advice from my own chechi-amma that I spent years pretending I had never followed! But this is how we learn, no? Having lived such an eventful life I have realised (and you must too, children) that experience is just embarrassment that, over time, becomes wisdom. And sometimes, kanna, you might want to look for straightforward answers when things might be much more complicated, or maybe at times you just need to realise that your partner is, in fact, an idiot.

So consider this our little secret for the questions that you’re not too sure who to ask, without having it be printed in tomorrow’s newspaper (see what I did there ;)), or questions that you’re too scared to ask Google da, I assure you child, Amma will listen, I will not judge you; although I do reserve the right to judge the person involved. I may give you some wisdom, and some pitāi; I may also occasionally tell you to stop being an ullu and go drink some water—that’s tough love, na? But I promise you to give an honest answer, even if it’s not the one you were hoping for.

So come on, my dear kunjungal, tell Amma all about your crushes, heartbreaks, your scandals, and…what’s that word? Ah, situationships, and all other things you children have made up despite having no idea what you are doing. Amma is waiting, Amma is listening. 

Your favourite hot auntie,

Sex Amma

Write to Sex Amma at  [email protected]