Providing guidance to the students of DU since 2008 on matters of sex, dating and intimacy, Amma is back again this week with her dose of advice.

Question: Amma, I haven’t caught feelings for anyone romantically in my life. Am I a bad person for not feeling love? Does it stem from my own incapability to love people?

My Dearest Idli,

Ah, Amma sees your conundrum, I remember my youthful days all too well. Our favourite Bollywood RomComs have successfully played with all our minds. Let me tell you that they all lie to you kanna.

There is no one way to live the “ideal life.” It does not necessarily come with a romantic paper. You are exploring your identity, and that is a beautiful thing. Gender, love, and identity exist on a vast spectrum-there is no single path to follow.

You may be aromantic or asexual, or maybe the person meant to be your vada just hasn’t arrived yet. There is no need to place yourself in a box. So no, you are not incapable of love. You’re simply learning to name the kind of love you carry.

Your heart may bloom differently. Maybe with friendship. Maybe with creative fire. Maybe with solitude. All are worthy. All are real.

My dearest idli, never ever undermine yourself – take some time, kanna, to sit with yourself, to reflect, to just be. The right things will come along, and you shall be okay. Sending you all the love and payasam, hoping to see you soon.

Love,

Amma. 

Want to ask Amma a query? Mail it to [email protected].