Hi amma,

my girlfriend and i have been dating each other for almost two years now. we had a protective intercourse on 13th july just after her periods got over on 10th of that month and she also took an emergency contraceptive pill just to be on the safer side the very next day. her next periods started after one week (which was pretty quick and i am assuming thats because of side effects of emergency contraceptive pill)of the intercourse i.e 20th to 25th and she noticed brown patches on her sanitary pad. after a month again her periods started on 25th august and the amount of blood flow this time was less than the usual flow. but now her periods have been delayed by almost 10 days which is scaring the shit out of us. is there any possibility that she’s pregnant. i have ensured that any of the condoms werent leaking and i dint even came out inside her.i seriously have no idea about whats going wrong…so pleaseee help asap…!!

Aiiiyooo… this perplexed pan fried fish fillet had me flipping the pages of my Manorama calendar back and forth!

Let Amma be up front and straight forward about something, your woman should see a doctor about her lady problems. The speculation of pregnancy can be put on the back burner for now. From your query Amma can tell that you did take necessary precautions but still are perturbed like fish out of water. Amma can understand, you must be having sleepless nights, as one would have if he were sleeping under a coconut tree, for the fear of having a coconut land on his head!

As far as Amma could tell, you are in the safe zone, but if your lady senses any problems (which she does) then without a doubt she should consult a doctor about them, her lady issues that is.

Till then take good care of your woman, be supportive, buy her a new pair of cooling glasses from Kanyakumari to protect her from the winter sun, I’ll write down a shop’s address for you.

Have a query? But don’t know who to ask? Mail  your queries to Sex Amma at [email protected].

Amma, my friends tell me that I must wait for the girlfriend to initiate anything, be it hand holding, kissing or sex. I am not so sure of it. Comments?

So yet again we have a macchhi caught in the relationship net and about to be stir fired by his friends. My dearest little bundle of confusion, why do you forget that you both can always talk, you don’t have gills in place out tongues to you?

The key is to be sure of the point when you are ready for, well, some action and then carefully gauge your partner’s willingness. But don’t just sit there and guess, make sure you ask her, or at least start off by holding hands. If you do want to initiate something make her feel comfortable, gain her trust and then proceed.

Once you both have made each other sufficiently comfortable, oh it is Amma’s guarantee that you will be able to experience it all, the sweetness of banana fritters to the crispy zing of banana chips.

You could mail Amma your queries on the ‘hush hush’ topic at [email protected].

Q. We are friends from two years. I like her very much and now see also gave some sign that see also like me. So how can I propose her. Plz give me some suggessions.

Amma: First, my boy, can Amma tell you to pay a little more attention to your English? Or join one of those Rapidex English crash courses! You are very lucky that the girl already likes you (i.e. with your excellent command over language. You must be such a looker that she’s showing interest!) so half the job is done. As for asking her out, I think you should limit the number of words you should say to her, given your, er, disability. So just take her out someplace nice with candles and flowers and music and take the old school route – you like me, I like you, let’s go out?

Q. Amma my boyfriend wants me to have cyber sex with him, he wants me to strip in front of the web cam!!! I am shy, and he is annoyed with me. What should I do???

Amma: Aiyyo, my sweet-chocolate-covered coconut, I understand your dilemma! I know despite all the MMSs this generation makes, etc., it’s still largely nervous about phone sex and cyber sex and such likes. But there’s nothing wrong in being shy, girlie! Love means having to make compromises for each other, if one is ready for something before the other. Tell him you aren’t ready yet and maybe can do something else in exchange for him. If he’s still got his boxers in a twist, dump him. You are young and there are many more fish in the sea.

Q. Hello Amma, so I’m not sure about how I should deal with this. I’m a bisexual girl and I have been with women. My boyfriend never had a problem with that and all was great until he decided it was cool for him to swing both ways as well. I mean it’s sexy for women, but guys?!

Amma: Tch Tch. Amma wonders why this happens. I mean, it is quite understandable if you do not want your boyfriend to be in any other relationship other than the one he has with you (although Amma pioneered the concept of open relationships) but that does not seem to be the concern here! Kutty, homophobia is conceivable as long as the person in question is someone brazen enough to not understand the joys of being free of heterosexual constraints. And you aren’t that person, are you? If you want him to stop, look within you. Oh and as an aside, Amma thinks gay men are hot.

You can mail her your queries at [email protected].