Sex Amma answers your questions about hookups and complications with sheer humour and wit.
Dear Amma, sex has always been a big deal for me. This mindset stops me from engaging in casual sex, but my friends get so much action and that makes me curious. Should I wait it out or am I being a prude?
My dear Macchi, whether sex is casual or serious, it entirely depends on how you feel about it. Fortunately, there is no universal definition of the meaning behind sex. It has a meaning if you want it to have meaning, and it has no meaning if you don’t want it to. My munchkin, Amma in her youth had many escapades, some with emotional sentiments attached, and some without. It is for you to figure out what you want. Remember, whether sex is meaningful or meaningless, also depends on whom you are with and whether you want it to be like that or not.
My dearest Idli, when was the last time you sat down and asked yourself what physical intimacy means to you? Without introspection, you will never be able to form well-developed ideas on the subject. You may not find all your answers in one go – and that is the point, Macchi. You are young, after all, and you have time to think it through and figure it out at your own pace. Some of your classmates and close friends must have a highly active sex life (kids these days are at it like rabbits! They give yesteryear’s Amma some serious competition). This should not influence your decision on whether you engage in casual sex or not.
My dear, keep in mind that all of us like our Sambar differently (I prefer mine to be tangier and saucier). If there can be such variation in Sambar preferences, you can only imagine how varied and vivid people’s opinions and preferences about sex would be. It will take a lot of self-reflection and an honest, open conversation with yourself for you to understand whether casual sex is your cup of tea (or bowl of Rasam). In terms of jumping into bed, Amma will give you one more nugget of advice, “when in doubt, wait it out”. If something feels wrong or makes you anxious, that is when you know, my Idli, that it isn’t going well and it’s time to think again.
If and when you realise that you can engage in casual sex, Amma would like to wish you luck. Go and get that Dosa, my precious little Idli!
Sex Amma [email protected]
(Write to Sex Amma at sexamma@dubeat. com to find answers to your sexual queries.)