Ques. Dear Amma, my boyfriend is very keen on experimenting while ‘doing it’! He has been involved in physical relationships before me, however he is my first time. And because of this reason, I’m very apprehensive about experimenting. Is it worthwhile? Should I shed my inhibitions and go ahead with it?
Ans. My little, little, oblivious idli! Trust Amma on this, experimentation is beautiful (and not to mention, fun)! Amma has been a particular fan of experimenting while, what you like to call, ‘doing it’. That been said, it’s okay if you are apprehensive about the idea. It’s okay to be not as keen as him about spicing it up. And if you are sure that you don’t want to go ahead with it, don’t. Meanwhile, it’s also important to tell your partner about what you’re comfortable and uncomfortable with.
As for your question about it being worthwhile, well, Amma can swear on her favourite Rava Idli that it definitely is worthwhile. It is worth shedding all your inhibitions and letting your wind blow (yes, quite literally!) Not only does it spice up your relationship, it adds to the connection and trust you both share. As you mentioned, your partner is more experienced than you, so trust him with this. You will not want to look back at the conventional ‘mission’ ever again!
Read up a little, research more, talk. Share your fetishes, what you’d want in bed. Communication is the key. And be sure about making complete peace with the idea. Make sure you’re comfortable with what you’re getting into; it can be a not-so-pleasant experience otherwise. And if things work out (which they will, if you do it right!) you can go further in exploring what you both enjoy. Just like a little more spice makes Rasam a delight, a little role-play will of course make it a treat!