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Humouroscope: 24th-30th Aug, 2014

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Aries: Your patriotic fervour is at an all time high this week. But please refrain from singing “Sandese Aate Hein” in Suniel Shetty’s voice as the national anthem.

Taurus: I know that you have over-heard the cute doctor mention your “Cologne” but I don’t think she was referring to your “Hugo Boss” and “Chanel” collection. What are your thoughts on Ileostomy, child?

Gemini: There are probably three superheroes crushing on you right now. Yea, really, I kid you not! But unfortunately, they cannot reveal their secret identity so that’s a bummer.

Cancer: This week the moon is perfectly aligned with your constellation stars to form what is known as the justaloadofcrap triangle. This phenomenon occurs only once every thousand years and grants the people born under this star sign – absolutely nothing. Hence the name.

Leo: Good to hear that you have almost completely left eating chocolates except in the evenings when you visit the mall and pass by Dunkin Doughnuts.  Because you know you deserve a little break from the “strict diet” every “now-and-then”.

Virgo: Scratch this area to win a fantastic prize ->#########

Libra: We have received several concerned mails asking if the ‘Humuroscope’ section of the newsletter is “real”. Let me assure you that we hire only the best clairvoyants who could have spend their “future-scrying powers” in ripping off millions out of the stock market instead of working in a non-profit weekly student newsletter.

Scorpio: Be wary of people trying to fool you into elaborate schemes in order to rip you off of your hard earned money. Keep your money safe by transferring it to this address: www.totallylegitwebaddress.com/transferyourmoney/inthisveryrealbankaccount/seriously/trustme

Sagittarius: Get rid of all your loose change before trying to stealthily tip toe around your lady friends. This week is the “Belated raksha bandhaan week”.

Capricorn: You will have a hard time convincing that the smudges on your touch screen is from trying to beat your “Flappy Bird” score and not because you were texting your Ex the entire night.

Aquarius: Feeling nostalgic with a bit of vertigo? That’s the feeling of indigestion.

Pisces: I often run out of jokes by the time I reach you guys. Today is no different.

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News

13 years on: Irom Sharmila continues fast against AFSPA

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On 22 August 2014, 42 year old civil rights activist Irom Chanu Sharmila was re-arrested on fresh charges of attempt to commit suicide under section 309 of the Indian Penal Code.  The charges have been slapped on her by the Manipur state government as she has been on  hunger strike since 2 November 2000 for the repeal of the Armed Forces Special Power Act (AFSPA) from Manipur when Assam Rifles killed 10 people at Malom area in an alleged encounter with insurgents. Ever since, Sharmila has been detained at the Jawaharlal Nehru Institute of Medical Sciences(JNIMS) from which she has been released and re-arrested again and again from time to time under provisions of the Indian Penal Code. Force feeding through nose is what has kept her alive for more than a decade now.

The last time when she was released was on Tuesday when Sharmila’s counsel Khadamani filed a revision petition after which the court agreed that there was no evidence to confirm that Sharmila is indeed trying to commit suicide and that the prosecution has failed to establish Section 309. However, since she refused to take food and water again after her release and even resisted medical check-up despite her deteriorating health, she was taken back forcibly to the hospital on Friday to be nose-fed like earlier.

Irom Sharmila’s family, expressing condemn at her re-arrest after being released by an earlier court, says they will consult their lawyer and plead before the court for her release again. Several civil rights groups and activists have called it “illegal” including Binalakshmi Nepram, the founder of Manipuri Women Gun Survivors Network, who says the former journalist-cum-social worker is only following the Gandhian way of peaceful protest.

 Ishani Rajkhowa
<[email protected]>

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Uncategorized

Behind The Scenes: Placements

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A common complaint of every DU student is that the placement cell does not work hard enough to get multiple companies on campus.  In my two years in placement cell, first as a member and then as a sub coordinator, I have not spent a day (college time or vacation) without checking my mailbox ten times a day to catch up with the list of companies contacting us at a point of time.

The year starts busily enough with prepping new members to help us enable a smooth process. For the best part of the year, your alarm clock is the early morning call of a company official wanting to discuss the placement process. From the formulation of report, inviting companies to campus, frantically find some free date to assign for a company process, orienting the student body on the college policy, organising workshops, preparing venues, garnering enough attendance to ensure the company doesn’t get offended, arranging the company’s requirements to the T- we do it all. Keep everyone happy – the company, college authorities and the student body – and become a machine following every instruction with no acknowledgement.

It’s fair enough to say that we signed up for the job role so we shouldn’t complain. However the surprising element in the work comes when you observe students treating the process crassly. A random chat with a company reveals that maximum students across the university don’t bother to read the job profile before appearing for the interview. Students routinely skip pre-placement talks and even drop out of subsequent rounds without prior information – the most unacknowledged part of our work is convincing a company to come back and visit our campus after students disappoint them.

Aside the frustrating moments, working for the placement cell opens your eyes to the extreme unpredictability of landing up with a job, warms you up to the company and definitely makes you a little less afraid as you walk up to the interview rooms. In this extremely competitive environment, placement cell folks have helped calm nerves of those in the waiting rooms, and also weathered themselves through the highs and lows of everyone’s experience to become better informed and more confident candidates!

Nitya Nangalia

(The author has been associated with the Placement Cell of Lady Sri Ram College (LSR) for two years. The views & opinion set out in this article is solely of the author)

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Bazinga

BAZINGA: VC Gatecrashes Freshers’ Party!

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Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

 

All was well on Friday at a café in Saket where the unofficial freshers’ party of a popular college was on, before the VC of Delhi University decided to gatecrash it; whether it became better or worse is up for speculation.

“I visited the college and thought I’d take everyone by surprise, but I was surprised to find the college completely uninhabited. I asked some teachers, “Where’s the protest tonight?” They told me everyone was at a freshers’ party. It sounded like a pleasant kind of protest, so I decided to go there,” the VC said.

The students in the café panicked and hid their hookahs and beer bottles in a hurry. Some coal from the hookahs fell on a few people’s feet, creating a more panicky situation. The VC took a while to understand the scheme of things there, but it wasn’t long before he asked the DJ to play 4 Bottle Vodka (some argue that they heard him sob and sing “4 Saal Ka Course Tha”) and grooved to the beats.

Reportedly, he even shooed away excise and police officers lurking around the café in anticipation of a share in the organisers’ profit, to the delight of everyone.

“These students who organise fresher’s parties make more profit than their total course fees. If someone had just told the students who could not have endured the cost of studying for an additional year that all they needed to do was organise a freshers’ party, perhaps my FYUP would have taken off!” said a disgruntled VC.

He also went on to suggest that internal assessment marks be given to the winners of titles like ‘Ms.Fresher’ & ‘Mr. Fresher’.

 

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News

Prof Carl W Ernst delivers lecture on Sufism and its contemporary relevance

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Lecture by Professor Carl W. Ernst: Sufism and its Contemporary Relevance

“A Sufi never claims himself to be a Sufi.”

Professor Carl W. Ernst, the professor of religious studies and director of the California center for the study of the Middle east and Muslim civilizations, USA, started out his lecture by defining the very term ‘Sufism’ and its Indian relevance.

Hosted in the main north campus’s conference center hall, the chief guest of the event was the very much debated vice chancellor of Delhi University, Dr Dinesh Singh who was curiously absent in the notices that were put up all over the campus, which announced the date as well as the venue of the lecture. In the neatly packed hall of the conference center then, the seminar saw attendance from the students of several departments of the university including Political Science, Philosophy, English Literature and of course the Persian department whose head, Professor Chander Singh was one of the members, chairing this seminar.

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One of such members, Professor Minni Sawhey, Dean of Faculty of Arts initiated the seminar by addressing Professor Carl W. Ernst and honoring him by a bouquet of roses. Professor Ernst, on the other hand thanked the Delhi university for inviting him simultaneously for the second time in the gap of an academic year.

He appeared very comfortable as he sailed across the distant origins of Sufism, standing tall at the podium, smiling and cross questioning the audience. His discussion ranged under subtopics like national attitude towards Sufism, Earlier European hostility towards its origins as well as the sacred relevance of Sufi shrines that derive their importance from rituality and the power of narratives.

“Involving. To the point. And extremely refreshing as compared to our routine lectures. I think such seminars should be held more often.” remarked Mohammad Abbas, a fresher from the Department of Persian. Refreshing indeed. The lecture delivered what was promised, leaving us all open minded and more receptive in the terms of understanding rather more deeper aspects of Islamic studies.

Priyanka Kapoor
[email protected]

Photo credits :Mohammad Shuaib and Ashita Chaturvedi

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Spo(r)tlight

Le Grande Boucle (Le Tour de France) – 101 concludes

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Currently run by the Amaury Sport Organisation, Le Tour de France is amongst the three Grand Tours along with the Giro d’Italia and Vuelta a Espana; though it’s the oldest and the most prestigious of all. The first edition of this event was staged in 1903 and won by Maurice Garin of France. This year Vincenzo Nibali from Italy was the winner.

A cancer survivor, Lance Edward Armstrong is one of the persons who are associated with this race. He was classified as having won the Tour for a record seven consecutive times, until he was stripped of all these titles and banned from competitive cycling for life, for doping offences. These sanctions were imposed on him by the Union Cycliste International in 2012, based upon the reports of United States Anti-Doping Agency. There are many such Cyclists who have won this race and also faced such actions.

This event usually is organised in the month of July. It roughly spans over 23 days and has around 21 stages, a distance of around 3,500 kilometres is covered during the race. The race is mostly based in mainland France but may enter other countries as well during its course; the race though always ends on the Champs Elysees in Paris (since 1975).  There are usually 20 to 23 teams every year, with nine members each. The winner is decided by compounding the timings of all the rounds. The one with the lowest aggregate wins the coveted Yellow Jersey (“Maillot Jaune”).

This year’s race started form Leeds, United Kingdom; had nine flat, five hilly, 6 mountain and one individual time-trial stage.  Vincenzo Nibali of Astana Pro team claimed the Yellow Jersey after clocking 89h 59’ 06” at the end of the race. The twenty-one day event was led by him for eighteen days.

The Green Jersey was won by Peter Sagan, for leading in the point’s competition. Whereas the Polka – Dot  Jersey went to Rafal Majka for leading in the mountain events of the tour, the jersey signifies the King of the Mountains title.

 

Rishabh Sharma

[email protected]

 

Image source:  http://www.southperthrouleurs.com.au

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Arts & Culture

TV Show Review: Mom

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Debuting as a full time lead on a television series, the Scary Movie star Anna Faris, as the newly sober Christy Plunkett, is the ideal crazy-lady-charmer of this new sitcom. But Allison Janey as Bonnie Plunkett, Christy Plunkett’s mother, isn’t to be underestimated- she is the Charlie Sheen of MOM!

Mom, the CBS sitcom, follows a sixth month sober Christy Plunkett who ironically settles for a solemn beginning in Napa, a valley in California which is practically the biggest wine hub of the state.

Nonetheless, as soon as Christy ‘mothers-up’ to raise her teenage pregnant daughter and a nine year old son (given that her ex husband was a stoner and basically just another result of a hangover ), her own mother (Allison Janey), who herself is recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction, shows up.

In a time when Hollywood studios are recycling movie ideas to make mediocre TV shows, it merely took some adult puns, witty one-liners and somewhat dark hangover gags to create a refreshing comedy out of a dysfunctional broken family, not to mention how relatable it is for the addicts. The classic ‘wide-eyed/tensed’ Christy regularly rants about her wasted childhood and not only manages to laugh at herself but also manages to tickle some funny bones.

Last, while this show is doing immensely well on the ‘LOL’ charts, it hasn’t succeeded in steering clear of pitfalls. For instance, Christy is able to afford a 3 bedroom apartment though she is the only working member of her family. Perhaps, in her own words- ‘perks of sleeping with her own boss’.

Secondly, since it delves into some serious familial instabilities, there is always a chance the joke falls flat because the situation feels too serious to joke about, as it happens when Baxter, Christy’s ex husband jokes about some ‘fatherly-issues’ with dumb guy-stereotype, Luke, the teenage boyfriend and the father of his unborn grand kid.

From the creators of The Big Bang theory and Two and a half men (Chuck Lorre), Mom is definitely something to look out for. And hence, even if this show makes you cringe, it is sure to make you laugh your way out of it.

 The official trailer of ‘Mom’ created by Chuck Lorre and starring Anna Faris and Allison Janney.


 Priyanka Kapoor for DU Beat.

([email protected])

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Biblio

Rowling Continues To Roll

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3 o’clock in the morning and I was still up, sitting on the bed, my head buried in a book. I could hear footsteps coming from the room above mine. It was gramps’, up for his mid-sleep ritual. Halfway through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, night after night I dig into it, getting barely enough sleep, yet not having the slightest concern about being caught dozing off in class, yet again.

I was just 10 when I fell in love with Harry Potter for the first time. But it wasn’t until I finished the last book in the series that I started to feel a constant urge for a dose of J.K. Rowling. 1997 saw the release of the first book, which was seven years after she conceived the idea for the Harry Potter series for the first time. Those seven years marked Rowling’s hardest times, tragedies only women of strength can live through. From writing in trains, on paper napkins to making every childhood magical, Rowling is one of the most influential women in Britain. 

Four years after the release of the last Harry Potter book, Rowling’s novel for adult readers, The Casual Vacancy came out. Despite critics’ opinion on it being lousy, the author’s way of making me fall in love with a character that died in the opening chapter of the novel was astonishing.

Rowling quickly followed her previously under received novel with ‘The Cuckoo’s Calling’, a highly acclaimed crime fiction, written under the pseudonym- Robert Galbraith. The second installment to her crime series, ‘The Silkworm’ came out later last month.  She said during a crime-writing festival that she wrote it under a fake name to see if she could “get a book published on the merits of the book”.

And as if my admiration wasn’t enough, she also got my respect.

With her birthday today, why not, give this creator of the-boy-who-lived, the author of the un-put-down-able stories, another tribute.

–Greta Khawbung 

[email protected]

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