Author

DU Beat

Browsing

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost-believable fake news!

The real reason for Arvind Kejriwal’s resignation as Delhi’s Chief Minister has finally been unearthed. He is set to become the new Vice Chancellor of Delhi University. Kejriwal wanted to target the youth and wanted to bring about change in the nation. He has now discovered the perfect way to do so by directly associating with the students and grooming them to make India a better nation. Party sources confirmed his appointment as the Vice Chancellor and he will be taking over from the next semester.

Kejriwal is set to revamp the education system of the University by introducing several new diploma courses. Some of them are based on how to do a sting operation and learning to stay hungry for several days for fasting purposes. He is also set to introduce a post graduate course called Master of Dharna Management. It will be a full-fledged two year program. Apart from this he will add Muffler Designing as a mandatory subject for under graduates of all courses as a recreational activity.

He believes that if every individual in the country has the basic training of conducting sting operations, it would help catch many corrupt officials and students are the best place to start. As a believer of peaceful protests he aims to teach students how to respectfully defy authorities to get their own way in life. An Aam Aadmi Party official said that these courses are as important as values and ethics and hence, need to be instilled into students from the very beginning.

This is just the beginning and a lot more is yet to come. It will be interesting to see how many well educated well trained anarchists come out of Delhi University after spending four years under the Kejriwal regime and what they make of the nation.

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost-believable fake news!

Aries: The DU fest season. A time for joy, a time for celebration, a time to cut loose, a time to have fun and a time when the chances of being stampeded to death shoots up by a whopping 70%.

Taurus: The amount of time it will take for your friends to unanimously agree on which fest to go first is the exact amount of time you can utilise to do any of the following: read a magazine cover to cover, cook a meal for two, ditch those guys and actually attend a fest.

Gemini: You are very likely to get the most intolerable itch in the most unreachable spot of your back. Asking a friend to scratch it off will send a very traumatic message to any third person.

Cancer: I have been staring at the bleak and empty skies for omens…but that just about sums up your future huh?

Leo: The common symptoms of the ‘Breaking Bad’ syndrome are: 1. You find yourself correctly pronouncing words like ‘methamphetamine’ without a hitch. 2. You vaguely begin to comprehend bits and scraps of what is being taught during chemistry lessons.

Virgo: Does your boyfriend spend less time with you these days? Does he talk with his friends, almost breathless with excitement, about ‘making a pass’ or ‘scoring’ but quickly hush up when you approach? Don’t fret my dear…its only Fifa 14, what else did you think?

Libra: Buying yourself an adorable little gift will have a positive effect on your mood today as no one else in the right mind will ever gift you one.

Scorpio: Believe it or not you are actually going to have a good day for a change. So go out there and have fun. Just remember to double check your life insurance premiums before you head out.

Sagittarius: Wear a purple shirt before you try your luck with that hot girl over there. Purple is your lucky colour. Coincidently, purple is also the colour of the painful bruises you are gonna get when her boyfriend is done with you.

Capricorn: I know that they say that the best things in life come for free but come on! Do you really believe someone is going to throw an ‘S’ class Mercedes your way?

Aquarius: My editors are totally against ‘toilet’ jokes because they believe it ‘stinks’. They told me to ‘flush’ any such ideas down the ‘drain’ or else they are going to pull the ‘plug’ on me. Didn’t get it? Give it some time. I am sure it will all ‘sink’ in.

Pisces: I have no doubt that you have been trying really hard my friend. But I don’t think an echo even qualifies as ventriloquism.

As a consequence of falling number of students attending lectures in the college, Dr. S. P. Aggarwal, the Principal of Ramanujan College (formerly known as Deshbandhu College), issued a notice on 31st January 2014 regarding this attendance issue. Due to the decline in attendance of students, specifically in Foundation Courses and Integrating Mind, Body and Heart (IMBH) courses as introduced in the Four Year Undergraduate Programme (FYUP), the authorities decided to bring about some steps so as to intimidate students to attend classes. “This is a new experiment that the college is doing with the students. Personally I feel, attendance has never been a motivational factor for any student, they should be self-motivated to attend the lectures and this is how it works. But on the other side, some strictness and forcefulness are required for the students’ welfare. Also, if there are genuine reasons behind a student not attending the classes, then they will be taken into consideration. The exact results to this approach will be visible only at the end of this month, once the whole month’s attendance is out on the college website.” replied Mr. Nikhil Kumar Rajput, when asked for his views on this matter. Ramanujan   The notice issued by the Principal stated, “Any student found missing from the classes for more than 4 consecutive classes of particular subject in a month will be fined @ Rs. 500 each.” Teachers from the college are asked not to permit the students to sit in the class, without the college authority’s approval, if he/she misses more than 4 consecutive classes. “This rule is not fit for the FYUP students because they are not allotted marks on the basis of attendance like any other three year graduate programme students are provided. But the fact that the students have started taking these courses like IMBH and Foundation Courses, more seriously after the issue of this notice, as was expected by the college authorities, cannot be ignored”, said a first year FYUP student of Ramanujan College  ]]>

The Delhi University Teachers’ Association (DUTA) in association with various students’  groups conducted a Protest March to the Parliament demanding a roll-back of the FYUP on the 18th of February. The DUTA had organized this March along with various students’ organisations including All India Students’ Association (AISA), All India Democratic Students’ Organization (AIDSO), Democratic Students’ Union (DSU), Students’ Federation of India (SFI), All India Students’ Federation (AISF), and the students’ wing of Aam Aadmi Party – CYSS.

fyupprotest

In what was labelled as a March towards Parliament, students and teachers marched from outside Zakir Husain College to the Parliament Street where they were joined by MPs, leaders of political parties, trade unions, women’s organizations and civil society bodies. Political leaders including Manish Sisodia and Ashutosh (AAP), Sitaram Yechury (CPI-M), OP Kohli (BJP), Tarun Kumar Mandal (SUCI-Communist), Udit Raj (SC/ST Federation), DP Tripathi (NCP), Kavita Krishnan (CPI-ML and AIPWA), Jagmati Sangwan (AIDWA) and Iqbal Singh Sindhu (AIFUCTO), All India Forum for Right to Education (AIFRTE) joined the procession at Parliament Street. The March culminated in a massive Public Meeting next to the Parliament Street police Barricades.

The marchers not only demanded a roll-back of the FYUP but also a reversal of the education policies’ thrust towards commercialization and PPP model. Removal of VC Dinesh Singh and condemnation of the Government’s decision to award him with a Padma Shri after allowing him to destroy Delhi University were also put forward in the form of slogans and handbills distributed to the public.

Manish Sisodia addressed the issue of commercialization of education and large-scale contractualization in teaching jobs. He also criticized the DU VC’s disregard of all democratic norms and processes, as was recently evident in the controversy over the formation of Governing Bodies in the Delhi Government colleges. He underlined the need to build popular resistance against the Government’s commercialization agenda in Education and expressed the AAP’s commitment to fighting against FYUP.

dutakav

Women’s organization leaders Kavita Krishnan, Jagmati Sangwan and Ritu Kaushik (AIMSS) expressed their opposition to the FYUP by stating that it would keep the large majority of girls and young women from poorer families out of good jobs and higher studies that are the only guarantee against the conservative pressure of Khap Panchayats and the patriarchal family structures.

DUTA President Nandita Narain expressed the DUTA’s resolve to continue the struggle with greater intensity till the principal demands of the teachers and students are met. She warned the Government that its indifference to the plight of the Delhi University community would cost it heavily in the General Elections as the destruction of a Central university like DU is going to alienate the masses and turn them against any party in power that imposes anti-people measures under the garb of reforms. She attributed this indifference as a factor in the Congress Party’s heavy defeat in the last Assembly elections. She appealed to all sections of the public to join the struggle against FYUP and the policies which undermine the future of students and teachers in higher education.

In a similar protest, on 15th February, AISA led a march to UPA chairperson, Sonia Gandhi’s house to protest against the new format of UPSC exams and Delhi University’s four year undergraduate programme.

AISA has been condemning FYUP for a long time now and is demanding a full rollback. The student’s party had already made its stand clear on the same during the Delhi University union polls, adhering to which they have been carrying protest marches along with ABVP and DUTA in the recent past.

According to sources, due to the unavailability of UPA chairperson Mrs. Sonia Gandhi, the party led its march to All India Congress Committee’s Office where they met Mr. Janardan Dwivedi, senior leader of Indian National Congress who further deputed the case to Mr. Shakeel Ahmed, senior spokesperson of INC. Mr. Dwivedi, though ensured the protesters that their demands would be looked into and action would be taken.

DUTA and students organisations also conducted protests against Antardhvani the previous week, condemning the nature of FYUP promotion embedded in all activities of the cultural fest.

The annual performing arts festival of Shri Ram College of Commerce, Histrionica 2014 is all set to begin 24th February, 2014! This 4 day long fest will see colleges from all across the University coming together to celebrate the performing arts under one roof.

However, before the festival actually begins, The Dramatics Society of the college has planned a special pre-event session!

It’s time to belt out your favourite tunes and unleash the singer within you. Tone-deaf people, here’s your chance to steal the spotlight. The Histrionica Karaoke Night is here!

A night full of music, fun and food; it promises to be an extravaganza for all Delhi University students.

The Histrionica Karaoke Night will be held on Thursday, 20th February, 2014 at the Jack n Chill Café, Hudson Lines. The cover charge of Rs.250 per person includes unlimited snacks (Veg pizza, Veg Coleslaw Sandwich, Veg Chilli Garlic Noodles) and a drink. The festivities being at 5 pm!

Follow their Facebook page and website for more details.

Nazakat – the Indian Dance Society of Gargi College conducted the Indian Solo Classical Dance Competition on the last day of Reverie 2014. With 10 teams participating in the competition, the event was held alongside the main stage of the fest.

The event was judged by Ms. Priya Srinivasan, a Bharat Natyam Dancer and student of Ms. Leela Samson. She was accompanied by Dr. Rashmi Bansal, a trained Bharat Natyam Dancer and Professor at Gargi College.

The event saw performances ranging in different classical dance forms including Kathak, Bharat Natyam and Mohiniyattam. The first position in the competition was bagged by Jayapriya from Gargi College while the second position was grabbed by Radhika of Miranda House.

The Arts Quad witnessed the street play competition on Day 2 of Gargi College’s annual fest Reverie. The judges for the event were Mrs. Shubha Sharma from the National School of Drama, Mrs. Mrinmoyee Majumdar, Director of Kathakaar Trust and Ms. Chaaya Sawhney, teacher convener of Kshitij, the street play society of the college. A total of 12 teams participated in the event including CVS, Hindu College, Hansraj College, Kamala Nehru College, PGDAV and Maharaja Agrasen College. SGTB Khalsa College’s street play – We, The People was adjudged the best, while Guru Gobind Singh College’s Chidiya ki Kahaani and Kirori Mal College’s Company Raj bagged the second and third place respectively.

The day also saw conventional debate being conducted at the Seminar Hall. The topic for the debate was – This house aims for the stars – which was open for interpretation. Eventually,  the team of Sidhant Shekhar and Aiman Anjum from Deshbandu college bagged the first position, while Sushmita Singh and Meghna Acharjee from Gargi College were adjudged the second best team. The best interjector was Bhawna from Lady Hardinge Medical College.

Other winners:

Overacting
1st position: Nishant, Sulabh and Sanchit – Maharaja Agrasen College
2nd position: Akshat, Satyam, Rahul – PDGAV
3rd position: Devesh, Akshay, Rahul – Maharaja Agrasen College

Catch live updates from Reverie 2014 here | Visit the Reverie 2014 Facebook Album here

Day 2 of Reverie kick started with the Indian Music (Group) event in the Auditorium and the event was organized by Samranjini, the Indian Music Society of the college. The event saw participation from 14 teams and each team was given 10+2 minutes to perform their act. The judges for the event were Arundhati Bhattacharya, Lahiri Srivastava, Dr. Joya Bhattacharya, the teacher co-convener of the society. The participating teams were judged on the basis of coordination/synchronization, melody (sur), rhythm (taal), level of difficulty and sargam. Needhi Roy, President of Samranjini said that, “This is a classical programme, open for all students over Delhi-NCR to provide them a platform to showcase the same.”

The first position was shared by Alankar, Hindu College and Dhwani, LSR, the second position was shared by Geetanjali, Miranda House and Sangeetika, KNC and the third position was secured by Alahyaa, Daulat Ram College.

Alongside Object Poster Making competition organized by Anubhuti, the Creative Writing Society was being conducted at LT-2.. 25 teams participated in the event that was judged by Dr. Manjit Singh & Sarita Sarsar from the History Department of the college. The themes for the competition were ‘Dream to Reality’ and ‘Reality to Dream’ and the objects given were a bird and a chair. Kunal Singh from Shaheed Bhagat Singh College won the first position, Sandeep Gupta from Ramjas College secured the second and Anjali Bokaria from Gargi College claimed the third.

Catch live updates from Reverie 2014 here | Visit the Reverie 2014 Facebook Album here

Aries- It’s cold outside. And you only have few lectures today. It doesn’t matter. You can always make it up by attending all classes from tomorrow. Promise. Current score – Warm, toasty blanket – 27 : Cold, dingy classroom – 0.

Taurus- Just like Archimedes, you will have a eureka moment for the perfect peanut butter and jam ratio on a slice of wheat bread. Just remember to keep your pants on.

Gemini- To all those ladies who are still carrying their shopping bags all by themselves…the transfer markets will be closing shortly. All the eligible bachelors are still available as free agents. Transfer windows will only re-open at the start of the next session.

Cancer- You watch an entire season of ‘Koffee with Karan’. You love the show. The host is smart, funny and pleasant. The guests have amazing personalities. But you can’t help but feel a little ‘something’ clawing the back of your mind during the entire time. How on earth can they spell ‘Coffee’ with a ‘K’ dammit?

Leo- I agree that the crime rate in the city has increased. I also agree that we should do something about it. But please, I can not be seen anywhere near you when you are wearing your red undies on top of those freakishly tight spandex. I have a reputation to maintain.

Virgo- Please refrain from referring to your fart as a ‘featured anterior rectal transmission’ during a date. And she also does not want to know the exact ratio of nitrogen and methane present.

Libra- Painting your hamster yellow and black does not make him a picachu. And throwing that cosco ball at him will most probably maim it.

Scorpio- You have not failed. You have just found 1000 ways that won’t work. Which is like failing really, really miserably…

Sagittarius- There is no ‘wrong’ side of the bed. So will you please stop panicking and get your lazy butt off the mattress?

Capricorn- On the nights you decide to watch a scary movie humming the ‘Ghost busters’ theme song will give you just enough courage to run from underneath the safe sanctuary of your blanket to the toilet and back again.

Aquarius- I completely agree that wrestling isn’t fake at all. I mean even a child could survive a 30 feet vertical drop into hard concrete or a smack to the skull with a steel chair, right?

Pisces- By this point I often run out of jokes as you guys are the last on the list. So I decided to write yours first. After giving it much thought…I still got nothing. And now that’s saying something…

 Image Credits: www.lunaticphotos.com