In my 19 years of life, I haven’t really had sexual feelings for anyone. I don’t even feel like being particularly romantic with anyone. Does this make me incapable of love?
First of all, what you’re feeling right now is perfectly normal and it definitely does not make you incapable of love. It isn’t necessary for you to be sexually or even romantically attracted towards anyone. I hope you’re acquainted with the concept of “Asexuality”. It is a sexual orientation which basically signifies a lack of sexual attraction towards others. Within this asexuality spectrum fall the “aromantics” or “aros”. An aro refers to any individual who experiences little or no romantic attraction.
Now that I have familiarised you to these sexual identities, let us come back to your problem. Not being able to feel sexually or romantically for another individual doesn’t mean you cannot love them at all. We all feel platonic and familial love for those who really matter to us, be it our friends or our family.
I understand, my little idli, that when you look around at people falling in love, it might appear all beautiful and delightful. You may feel afraid or worried that you may never experience that happiness and might just feel a little left out. But I want you to understand that romantic love isn’t everything. It is often considered that romantic love is a level following platonic love. But, I believe they’re just two different kinds of love that are equally powerful in their respective spectrums.
So instead of viewing romance as something better than platonic love, try perceiving the two as equal. Try channeling your energy, that one would put into a romantic relationship, towards your platonic relationships. Embrace your friendships, dear chutney, and love your friends with the power they deserve. Because at the end of the day, love is love, be it someone you have sex with or someone who had sex and came to you first to talk about it.
I will leave you with my final suggestion. Try to not box yourself under any one identity. Feel free to explore and do not shy away from new experiences. After all, life is short and love is for everyone!
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