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A (Newly) Single’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

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The day of love and romance can feel a little sad when you recently broke it off with your significant other. However hurtful that might be, this piece will remind you how fun it is not to have to share your favorite box of chocolates with anybody. 

If you’re flying solo this Valentine’s Day, without a partner in crime to share those heart-shaped chocolates with, fear not. While Cupid may have missed the mark this year, there’s still plenty of love to go around and the most important kind has always been self-love.

First let’s talk about the breakup. Yes, it stings like a bee, but don’t forget that you’re free as a bird now! So, kicking off this Valentine’s Day right would involve some serious self-care vibes. Treat yourself to a spa day, binge-watch your favorite guilty pleasure TV show, or go wild with a pizza night. Because why should couples have all the fun, right?

Instead of drowning your sorrows in a tub of ice cream (although, let’s be real, that does sound tempting), why not turn Valentine’s Day into a celebration of all things fabulous? Start by pampering yourself with an amazing outfit – who says you can’t dress to impress, just for yourself? Throw on your favorite clothes, strut your stuff, and show the world that you don’t need a date to slay.

If you find yourself craving a change of scenery, consider treating yourself to a solo adventure or a weekend getaway. Take a road trip to a vacation spot you’ve never explored, or hop on a train to a busy city. Sometimes, a change of scenery is all you need to lift your spirits.

Channeling your inner artist and finding a creative outlet is also a part of the “best solo date ideas list”. Sign up for a painting class, try your hand at pottery, or dust off that old guitar and teach yourself some tunes. Getting lost in a creative pursuit can be incredibly therapeutic and empowering, allowing you to express yourself in new and unexpected ways. Plus, you’ll have a tangible reminder of your patience and resilience, long after Valentine’s Day has come and gone.

Feeling a little lonely? Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to spread love in unexpected ways. Send a cheesy Valentine’s Day card to your bestie, surprise your mom with a bouquet of flowers, or treat yourself to a fancy dinner for one. After all, who needs a significant other when you’ve got an army of loved ones cheering you on?

And let’s not forget the most important part of surviving Valentine’s Day as a brand new singleton: laughter. Embrace the absurdity of the holiday by throwing an anti-Valentine’s Day bash for all your single friends. Deck out your house in black and red, serve up heart-shaped pizzas, and crank up your favorite tunes. Who needs romance when you’ve got good food, good friends, and a killer playlist?

So, here it is, your ultimate guide to surviving Valentine’s Day like a pro. Whether you’re happily single, recently uncoupled, or just looking for an excuse to party, remember this: love comes in many forms, and it’s all worth celebrating. Celebrate yourself, your friendships and the infinite possibilities that lie ahead in life. 

Read Also: Valentine’s Day Special: Top 5 Romantic Movies to binge on

Featured image credits: freepik

Lakshita Arora
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Arts & Culture

Are Relationships Really That Important?

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Popular culture and social media can’t get enough of love and significant-others, but are relationships really that important? 

Love and relationships have been celebrated everywhere in the world, mostly to an unhealthy extent. The entertainment industry and the media have been the biggest players in glorification of messages like “love will find a way” or “love is all you need.” They paint a pretty picture as they go on to associate a happy life with romantic relationships. But, there is a need to investigate the pressure that amounts on individuals, when it comes to finding love or “the one”.

Nobody ever talks about how important it is to be comfortable with your own self. We are made to believe that we are unlovable up until we find a significant other. Nobody ever talks about the toxicity, insecurities, jealousy, fights that come with relationships. Bhavya, a student of Daulat Ram College opines, “A healthy relationship, no doubt, supplements one’s growth and plays a monumental role towards keeping oneself happy. But this does not mean that one forget their individuality and sense of self.”

We often strive to find “the one” romantically, but nobody tells us that it is absolutely okay to love single-hood. Nobody tells us that it is completely okay if you do not have a partner. In addition to this, the entertainment industry thrives on heteronormativity. Ayushi, a student of SGTB Khalsa College states, “Every love story somehow has a happy ending, and every love story is heteronormative, indulging us to believe in the fact if we are single, there is something wrong with us.”

The society has instilled this fear of being alone within us and it is so deep-rooted that we fail to identify the indirect effects it has on us as individuals. Being single is so much better than being in a relationship in a plethora of ways. Relationships tend to take a toll on you if they are not going your way. You will have plenty of time at your disposal if you are single. Most of all, there is no relationship drama and you can focus your undivided attention on yourself. 

Feature image credits- Thir.st

Suhani Malhotra

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DUB Speak

Nostalgia and Break Ups That Engulf Valentine’s Day

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This piece talks about the pressures of being with someone, that Valentine’s Day imposes and how to be kind to yourself during this time.

It is ‘that time of the year’ when couples are running to buy gifts, or planning something special to do. Restaurants and cafes, like Diggin, are decorated with cutesy hearts, danglers, polaroid pictures, sweet notes and balloons. Zomato, Swiggy and others will start offering themed one-plus-one discounts for couples. That one couple who has been together for almost a decade will post hashtag couple goals stories.

But it’s incorrect to reduce the idea of Valentine’s Day to just these things. Many of us are single, separated, divorced. Many of us have different choices and identity preferences. The ‘sadness’ attached to not being with someone is what we have been conditioned to feel. Valentine’s Day can often make us nostalgic for our previous relationship and remind us of our breakup. This one day is less dedicated to couples but, is more of a dread to those who are not with someone.

Differing from those who show pity, I will talk about breakups and how to not succumb to the nostalgia. Fluffy red pillows all over malls, almost as if these were red alerts, raising an alarming reaction about how you do not have someone to buy one for you. You do not really want someone to buy this for you, but, the pressure of not having someone.. feels incomplete. Feeling lonely, unloved, low and how you are missing out on something so important- your other half. The rom-coms flooding Netflix, during this time, will only remind you of how ‘everyone’ at this age has someone. Flashbacks of your sweet moments will return at random moments.

Moving on is hard and very often people use one of the two ways to do so. The first is full of unhealthy, temporarily satisfying and regressive ways. This includes calling or hooking up with your ex, sober or drunk. Entering several relationships successively to avoid feeling lonely. Making attempts to get back together with your ex, despite sufficient red flags asking you to walk the other way. The second is rare and slow, but healthy and helpful in the long run. It involves taking some time off to heal, accept, learn and grow. Due to the compulsions of being with
‘someone’, we make the mistake of viewing things with a biased lens.

Firstly, on how everyone in a relationship is necessarily happy. We only focus on what we see, and people only post the best, filtered, and happiest moments. The fights and struggles of being with someone are hidden behind. Secondly, the idea that the only way to feel loved, is to have a romantic partner should be challenged. Many forms of love exist, you’ll find some qualities in a friend, some in your parent or sibling. Thirdly, after someone is gone, there is a void that exists. But now you get to invest that time in things you want to do. Fourthly, you learn many things from the experience of any relationship. You see what your likes and expectations are, you do not depend on external sources of validation, you learn to spot the red flags and, you know what your worth is.

Lastly, you’ll learn to build your own support system. Your priority often centers around the person you’re in a relationship with. This comes at a cost, where you lose out on older connections. This is your chance to reconnect with those. But also, to spend that time with your friends and family.

But if not any of this, make this day about yourself. Maybe you have been working too hard lately, maybe you haven’t taken a holiday in a while, and maybe you have not stopped for a second to look back at your efforts and achievements. If not with someone else, you deserve one good day to yourself feel special. Once in a while, it’s good to be reminded of your intelligence, strength and efforts, and who better to do all these things than you and your loved ones?

In the end, one thing you should know is that it is okay to be single. Spend this day with someone special, just define your own idea of who is special. Reconnect with a school friend, go out with your parents, watch a movie alone, or even make dinner plans with a classmate. As Christina had said to Meredith, “you are the sun” and its time that you redefine aspects of your life according to your own terms. And to those who do, more strength to you.

Featured Image Credits: DU Beat Archives

Shivani Dadhwal
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Arts & Culture

Itinerary of Single Folks on Valentine’s Day

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If you are single and you know it, during that time of the year, clap your hands! You might as well want to give yourself a shout-out for refraining from commitment because no one else is going to.

Before you sulk and pride simultaneously over your relationship status, you would want to give a pat on your back for courageously having been through that one- most- cringe-worthy week of February. That one entire week which has a series of unproductive days, simply there, to give build-up, momentum and amplified expenses to Valentine’s Day. Your patience needs to be applauded, your endurance deserves a reward. But before you put Halsey on repeat here is an itinerary for you to consider:

1) Sleep through the day.

Your mattress always had your back and you can’t be treacherous to her, fall back and take that extra nap, not that it isn’t something you don’t do, on just about any other day as well, but the more you sleep the less you have to socialize. That’s an inverse relation you always ship!

 

2) Take a stroll of your room and while you are at it, please CLEAN IT.

You don’t have space, not only in your heart but also on that sofa and that chair and that bed and roundabout any other thing which can hold onto stuff. Clean and organize. You might discover things which will surprise you. Imagine surprising your own self, that’s some sport.

 

3) Feed yourself

Pamper yourself, don’t let hate and negativity bloom. Most of you do not acknowledge being single as that big of a deal on the surface, but deep down crave significant other. Count yourself lucky that you saved yourself from going broke from buying someone else’s gifts, instead spend your bucks on yourself and try not to go broke. It’s not cool. 

 

4) Netflix and chill for one

Your former partner may not be with you now but their Netflix password might be, so exploit that. If and when their memories start to flash by, let it. Don’t cumulate gloom inside rather release it through music, books, movies, whatever feels like it. (Movie recommendations: Queen, How to be single, Begin Again, Gone Girl, etc.)

 

5)Have a dose of self-affirmation

Now this will include you googling celebrities who are still single so that you feel good about yourself and imagine being in their squad. While you are it you may discover that there’s a Chinese Valentine’s Day which comes later in August so you have bought yourself some time to feel good about yourself, and then crawl back in the quilt to put Halsey on repeat, because you have the privilege.

 

Here’s a word of caution: You may or may not follow this, but just remember to shield yourself from excessive PDA and watch chick flicks at your own risk!

Let no one make you feel lame about yourself which is inclusive of your own conscience. Self-love is not secondary and definitely not a backup. You don’t have to fall back to it just because you can’t find it through other people. It should be a priority not just any form of ego defence mechanism.

Feature Image Credits: Pinterest

Umaima Khanam

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