Sex Amma Archives - Page 10 of 10 - DU Beat - Delhi University's Independent Student Newspaper

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Ques: Does masturbation really lead to acne?

Ans: Firztly, thaankyou HT city for that awezzome article that you wrote about me. I mean I always thought I was something for Page 3, but you people are so nice you put me on that first page without my paying you any money. How nice! I’m toadily touched! I have to tell you the truth, the number of questions I have been getting since then has shot up so much that now I have to buy a blackberry and dedicate all my time to DU Beat. No time for private counseling. I feel like such a celebrity now that employing one or two juniors doesn’t seem like a bad idea.

Anyway, I have to say, the number of doubts you kids have about masturbation is totally mind boggling. People never used to be so curious about the practice before. But it’s very impressive that this generation has an extraordinary eye for detail. *winking to self*.

And yes, masturbation DOES lead to acne. That’s not the sole reason for acne, but the body of the teenager who masturbates is home to excessive hormone production, which is a cause for acne. Very few teenagers who masturbate don’t have acne.

I’ll put little bit of my hindi these DUB people taught me to use. I’d say, KUJH PAANE KE LIE KUJH KONA TOH PADTA HAI!!!

Ques: How can I attract some girl in my campus to have sex with me? Just a one night stand I am sure you understand!

Ans: If the person who has sent in this question is listening, I am utterly disgusted with your thinking. You might think sex amma is “chill”, but this, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! See kids, I agree that at this age, all we try and look out for is “fun”, but my theories tell me to have fun only when you’re understand what you are doing. I’ll explain. In a situation where both the man and the woman (because I’m assuming all of you are of age enough to be called that), arrive at a consensus and none has a problem, there is nothing wrong with what I hate calling a “one-night stand”. However, fooling someone into one is a BAD BAD thing to do. *nods head*. I mean it might not bother you right away and give you satisfaction and pleasure that matches none, but when you’re lying at your death bed, this one thing will come to your mind and flood you with guilt. Let’s not even bring you to your death bed. Remain in that very “one-night stand” bed of yours and imagine being THE FOOL. Imagine the feeling of being tricked into something. I still declare that I’m broad-minded and all that jazz, but this is something I strongly detest! I don’t want young men floating in the campus thinking about attracting “some girl” to have sex. Besides, no kind of research gives out a strategy to have a “one-night stand”. So sorry, Sex Amma can’t be of any help here! *wicked smile*

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Q) A girl in my class has suddenly started acting weird around me. She’s very touchy-feely and keeps saying bizarre things that make me very uncomfortable. I think she has a crush on me… how do I make her understand that I’m not “that” type without being rude? Oh, I’m female myself, by the way.

A) Ah, the perils of being attractive…sigh. I feel you, little one (and no pun at all intended, no no!) In my time it was just the boys but what with section 377 being repealed and all, this is just going to be doubly hard for you young ones!

Hmm, now to your problem. It is a tricky situation to land yourself into. Try making your sexuality clear with subtle hints like gushing over the college hottie – the MALE hottie, mind you! If her affections see no trace of ebbing even after that, you should gently tell her that you would prefer a little less of physical contact. In case that doesn’t work too, then, my dear, there are but two options. Either you tell her on her face without mincing words that you are not interested in her, or get a boyfriend! But word of advice – before you take any extreme steps, do make sure that the poor girl is actually “that type” as you put it and not just an unassuming, over-friendly soul.

Q) I have an absolutely gorgeous cousin and I’ve lately started developing feelings for her. But I’m so scared to act on them because she’s a relation and all… What to do?

A) Aiyyo. Feelings for cousins is not a very good thing, rama rama! For one, if you start a relationship with her and eventually it turns out all wrong, things could get very awkward for both you in the future because you are bound to keep bumping into each other at all family gatherings. Also, I don’t know about your family, but usually a lot of parents wouldn’t encourage inter-family love-shuv so everything will have to be done with the utmost secrecy which can get pretty taxing, my dear. If your feelings for said cousin are particularly strong and you really think being with her is worth taking all the above-mentioned risks however, I suppose you should go for it and talk it out with her. If she feels the same, well and good. But if not, take it with a pinch of salt and save those feelings of yours for the next gorgeous girl you meet (preferably outside the family this time!) All the best!

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