self love


The day of love and romance can feel a little sad when you recently broke it off with your significant other. However hurtful that might be, this piece will remind you how fun it is not to have to share your favorite box of chocolates with anybody. 

If you’re flying solo this Valentine’s Day, without a partner in crime to share those heart-shaped chocolates with, fear not. While Cupid may have missed the mark this year, there’s still plenty of love to go around and the most important kind has always been self-love.

First let’s talk about the breakup. Yes, it stings like a bee, but don’t forget that you’re free as a bird now! So, kicking off this Valentine’s Day right would involve some serious self-care vibes. Treat yourself to a spa day, binge-watch your favorite guilty pleasure TV show, or go wild with a pizza night. Because why should couples have all the fun, right?

Instead of drowning your sorrows in a tub of ice cream (although, let’s be real, that does sound tempting), why not turn Valentine’s Day into a celebration of all things fabulous? Start by pampering yourself with an amazing outfit – who says you can’t dress to impress, just for yourself? Throw on your favorite clothes, strut your stuff, and show the world that you don’t need a date to slay.

If you find yourself craving a change of scenery, consider treating yourself to a solo adventure or a weekend getaway. Take a road trip to a vacation spot you’ve never explored, or hop on a train to a busy city. Sometimes, a change of scenery is all you need to lift your spirits.

Channeling your inner artist and finding a creative outlet is also a part of the “best solo date ideas list”. Sign up for a painting class, try your hand at pottery, or dust off that old guitar and teach yourself some tunes. Getting lost in a creative pursuit can be incredibly therapeutic and empowering, allowing you to express yourself in new and unexpected ways. Plus, you’ll have a tangible reminder of your patience and resilience, long after Valentine’s Day has come and gone.

Feeling a little lonely? Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to spread love in unexpected ways. Send a cheesy Valentine’s Day card to your bestie, surprise your mom with a bouquet of flowers, or treat yourself to a fancy dinner for one. After all, who needs a significant other when you’ve got an army of loved ones cheering you on?

And let’s not forget the most important part of surviving Valentine’s Day as a brand new singleton: laughter. Embrace the absurdity of the holiday by throwing an anti-Valentine’s Day bash for all your single friends. Deck out your house in black and red, serve up heart-shaped pizzas, and crank up your favorite tunes. Who needs romance when you’ve got good food, good friends, and a killer playlist?

So, here it is, your ultimate guide to surviving Valentine’s Day like a pro. Whether you’re happily single, recently uncoupled, or just looking for an excuse to party, remember this: love comes in many forms, and it’s all worth celebrating. Celebrate yourself, your friendships and the infinite possibilities that lie ahead in life. 

Read Also: Valentine’s Day Special: Top 5 Romantic Movies to binge on

Featured image credits: freepik

Lakshita Arora
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This piece talks about the pressures of being with someone, that Valentine’s Day imposes and how to be kind to yourself during this time.

It is ‘that time of the year’ when couples are running to buy gifts, or planning something special to do. Restaurants and cafes, like Diggin, are decorated with cutesy hearts, danglers, polaroid pictures, sweet notes and balloons. Zomato, Swiggy and others will start offering themed one-plus-one discounts for couples. That one couple who has been together for almost a decade will post hashtag couple goals stories.

But it’s incorrect to reduce the idea of Valentine’s Day to just these things. Many of us are single, separated, divorced. Many of us have different choices and identity preferences. The ‘sadness’ attached to not being with someone is what we have been conditioned to feel. Valentine’s Day can often make us nostalgic for our previous relationship and remind us of our breakup. This one day is less dedicated to couples but, is more of a dread to those who are not with someone.

Differing from those who show pity, I will talk about breakups and how to not succumb to the nostalgia. Fluffy red pillows all over malls, almost as if these were red alerts, raising an alarming reaction about how you do not have someone to buy one for you. You do not really want someone to buy this for you, but, the pressure of not having someone.. feels incomplete. Feeling lonely, unloved, low and how you are missing out on something so important- your other half. The rom-coms flooding Netflix, during this time, will only remind you of how ‘everyone’ at this age has someone. Flashbacks of your sweet moments will return at random moments.

Moving on is hard and very often people use one of the two ways to do so. The first is full of unhealthy, temporarily satisfying and regressive ways. This includes calling or hooking up with your ex, sober or drunk. Entering several relationships successively to avoid feeling lonely. Making attempts to get back together with your ex, despite sufficient red flags asking you to walk the other way. The second is rare and slow, but healthy and helpful in the long run. It involves taking some time off to heal, accept, learn and grow. Due to the compulsions of being with
‘someone’, we make the mistake of viewing things with a biased lens.

Firstly, on how everyone in a relationship is necessarily happy. We only focus on what we see, and people only post the best, filtered, and happiest moments. The fights and struggles of being with someone are hidden behind. Secondly, the idea that the only way to feel loved, is to have a romantic partner should be challenged. Many forms of love exist, you’ll find some qualities in a friend, some in your parent or sibling. Thirdly, after someone is gone, there is a void that exists. But now you get to invest that time in things you want to do. Fourthly, you learn many things from the experience of any relationship. You see what your likes and expectations are, you do not depend on external sources of validation, you learn to spot the red flags and, you know what your worth is.

Lastly, you’ll learn to build your own support system. Your priority often centers around the person you’re in a relationship with. This comes at a cost, where you lose out on older connections. This is your chance to reconnect with those. But also, to spend that time with your friends and family.

But if not any of this, make this day about yourself. Maybe you have been working too hard lately, maybe you haven’t taken a holiday in a while, and maybe you have not stopped for a second to look back at your efforts and achievements. If not with someone else, you deserve one good day to yourself feel special. Once in a while, it’s good to be reminded of your intelligence, strength and efforts, and who better to do all these things than you and your loved ones?

In the end, one thing you should know is that it is okay to be single. Spend this day with someone special, just define your own idea of who is special. Reconnect with a school friend, go out with your parents, watch a movie alone, or even make dinner plans with a classmate. As Christina had said to Meredith, “you are the sun” and its time that you redefine aspects of your life according to your own terms. And to those who do, more strength to you.

Featured Image Credits: DU Beat Archives

Shivani Dadhwal
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The strong winds of having a “perfect figure” have swept us away with their glamorous appeal. The hype has been created for having a slim body, and a lot of it has to do with the celebrities’ idea of a zero figure and an hourglass-shaped body alluring the public to a huge extent.

 It is not to be denied that, due to the pressure that has been created to maintain a particular figure and size, people have started giving thought to fitness and health. People seem to have realised that it is important to have a fit body and that it is important to work towards it by indulging in physical activities. In a lot of parks of the capital city, men and women can be seen enjoying a morning walk or practising yoga.

But a major consequence that has occurred due to the perfect body hype is that we have now started associating beauty with a slim figure. Not only is the idea problematic, but it is also highly demeaning for those who do not have a slim body. In a survey conducted by our correspondent on the same matter, with the sample size of 50 people, half concluded that the general belief links beauty with having a slim body. However, around 40% of people did not agree with this concept at all. A second-year student says to this, “The people who are fat or obese need to become slim only to lead a healthy lifestyle and not to become beautiful because they already are beautiful. And being slim should not be a standard, because even that has consequences. Personally, I am very slim, and that does not make me the ‘ideal size zero’, because I face many health complications due to it. And people tell me to put on weight so that I can look beautiful. It’s this hypocrisy and mindset that needs to be changed.”

The hypocrisy that this student mention is perhaps present in the very air we breathe in. And another very interesting example of this hypocrisy can be seen in the social media accounts of various personalities and ‘influencers’ who first put up weight-loss stories and then proclaim with excitement the notion of “self-love”. To love your body, you must first become beautiful and to become beautiful, you need to become thin, is the idea that they seem to spread. A statement by another student sums it up pretty well as she says, “Having a fitter body is fine but associating health with size-zero figure is wrong. However, I don’t subscribe to the “love your body” argument. If someone is obese then s/he needs to do something about it. The modern notions of beauty which I call ‘Insta beauty’ is fake and cosmetic. I feel like people should stop following these models who do nothing but make other people insecure about their bodies and promote products which they never use themselves.”

Although the idea of having a slim body gained significance primarily during the Victorian times when women were supposed to wear corsets and what not to highlight their small waist, a lot of scholars believe that the modern conception is hence, a result of the colonial effect. Another very important thing we must remember is that during the Greco-Roman times, a woman with a plump body was regarded as beautiful. If one looks at the paintings of those times, one would come across female bodies with fat thighs and chubby body, which is just as beautiful. Speaking in the Indian context, in Kalidasa’s famous play, Abhijnanasakuntalam, Shakuntala is described in such terms that the present reader would perhaps condemn. Her plump thighs are seen as a positive aspect because it would mean she will be able to bear a child well – a popular conception in those times.

“I’m trying to decondition myself from thinking that thin people are pretty but it is difficult to do so when these ideals are constantly reinforced to you. I find the plus sized movement discouraging, they make normal sized women as plus models; which further negatively impacts our perception of size”, expresses another student. And this is exactly the problem with the whole issue. One involuntarily caves in due to the pressure that one feels is coming from all around. Many teenagers, in recent times, have been reported to be suffering from mental health issues because of the stress to mould their bodies into a particular manner. And this is why the glorification of having a slim body is problematic.

Thus, it is important for us to maintain a healthy body by engaging in physical activities. But the inspiration behind this must be that your aim is a healthy lifestyle rather than succumbing to the societal ideals of beauty.


Image Credits: The Indian Express



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Do you accept and love yourself or are you the King of the world? Let you be the better judge by reading down below, the difference between self-love and narcissism.

Mein apni favourite hoon”, a phrase you would have heard a million times over, and with assurity said it out loud yourself. Irregardless of the fact that this dialogue is iconic or not, what really brings the matter to light here is the difference which has never been understood- the parallels of self-love and narcissism. Why are they considered one and the same thing by many and how and why there is a major difference between the two. Let us figure it out, through the course of this article.

kareena kapoor GIF

Let us focus on the primary word- love. Films and novellas have bruised and ruptured the core ideal of love. It was always a metatheatre for the viewers, love was described as objective, through someone else’s gaze, through shimmery red lipsticks and an elegant pearl choker or through a well-suited tuxedo and a steady walk or ballrooms. This is not all love entails. Love has always been described as a feeling of mutuality between two individuals. But what about loving yourself? Where does that fit in this frame?

This is where the concept of self-love emerges. I feel it is a subjective term, to each individual, his or her own. For myself, it is a feeling of accepting yourself for who you are, flaws and strengths alike. And it is tough, it is not a measure to see how perfect you are, but being true to yourself and making peace with yourself. Self-love is correlated with self-esteem as well, it determines your outlook towards things, your acceptance for what goes on in life and a strive to become better. This is the purest form of self-love. Now let us talk about how it gets marketed in our lives. Having scars, not being the perfect figure, being too tall or too short, too pale or too dark, to shy or too strong, all of these are among the innumerable categories under which we can bring self-love to.

I also feel, it is safe to say that it is the 21st century when the core ideals of self-love began, when all of us got knit into the internet and when the personal got broadcast to a global audience. The reason this concept or philosophy got such a big response is because how vernacular it felt to each and every one. a sense of being able to relate arose and with that arose the feeling that you are not the only one who lives with insecurities, you outgrow them or you accept them and move on to become better. If self-love is such a simple concept, tough to follow, I agree, then why is it misinterpreted as narcissism?

keerat kaur

Narcissism on the other hand is this obsessive and excessive admiration one holds towards themselves, such as idealizing their physical appearance, outlook and developing a sense of entitlement. If you see Miranda Priestly storming out of her office with an excessively entitled opinion and a mood to shred you to pieces on how you dress yourself, you know you are facing a narcissist. A narcissist develops a ‘mental hierarchy’ giving him or her, a sense of complacency, and this undying need to seek validation for everything.

miranda priestly GIF

Heena Garg, a literature student from Maitreyi College says, “as entertaining as it is to watch a portrayal of such a self-absorbed person in films, in reality, it is really difficult to deal with such a person. Having had such a friendship with someone before, it sometimes feels like a one-sided effort, as the other person just sees themselves, everywhere”. Taking a cue from Bollywood films, the iconic Poo from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum or Anil Kapoor in Dil Dhadakne Do present a deeper insight, which we wishfully ignore in attempts to enjoy the film, rather than decode the characters. Sometimes, portrayals of such characters are impressionable on the minds of the youth. The line, “kaun hai yeh, jisne dubara mudke mujhe nahi dekha”, by Kareena Kapoor, may provide a sense of hilariousness, but deep down, it also reflects the dire need to be seen and attract the attention of others, especially the one from the opposite sex. While self-love is about cleansing yourself of the negative, narcissism becomes the engulfment of so many negative thoughts. The insecurity with which one lives in soon turns into spite, competition with others, even your loved and cherished ones and a constant need for approval.

Studies showcase how it is people with narcissism who face a really low self-esteem and in order to compensate for the same, accept and create a virtual atmosphere around them where they are the only perfect or best people around. Gargi Singh, a psychology student in Delhi University says, “narcissism tends to arise in cases where the parent-child relationships is either filled with excessive adoration or excessive criticism leading to this inflated sense of the self”. The childhood and the adolescent shape how the future for us goes and as in a lot of philosophical arguments, the childhood is the most important stage in anyone’s life as it lays the psychological groundwork for us for the future as well.

Hence, sit down and relax. When you say “I love myself”, do you really mean it as a sense of accepting who you truly are or as a way to establish a sense of superiority to settle a trigger? Think more, breathe mire and introspect. I’ll take off now.

Image credits: Keerat Kaur, Tumblr and IDiva

Avnika Chhikara
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Masturbation is the word for the glorious art of self-pleasure and sexual satisfaction. It helps you know what your body desires. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Masturbation is not bad for you physically, sexually, or emotionally unless it is something you do not want to do.

“I jerk off quite a lot”, says the character Andrew Glouberman from Netflix’s teen animated comedy series Big Mouth. It’s totally normal for him to get open about it if we look at it normally. After all, you aren’t a jerk if you jerk off. Whatever gender you associate or don’t associate with, the act of masturbating is a natural impulse.

Did you masturbate today? You did or you might, once you come home after college. If you’re denying it, then my friend, I’m sorry but there’s no point in doing so. Of course, it’s a very intimate act but everyone is doing it and no one wants to talk about it. It’s an act of self-sexual pleasure which is sometimes, so much more satisfactory than regular sex. Heterosexual women might relate to this! Solo sex; it might amuse you, arouse you or make you feel
very content. You touch yourself “down there” until you orgasm, or maybe just until you feel a little aroused.

I don’t exactly remember when I masturbated for the first time, but I do remember feeling ecstatic, joyous and a
little sweaty. I discovered masturbation accidentally, like most kids. Honestly, I was very confused and didn’t know
what to make of it. However, I did feel guilty and was aware that this is something that I shouldn’t talk to my
parents about, even with my friends. Heck, I never even talked about periods, let alone masturbation. It felt very
personal and very private. I thought it was my thing, my own little secret. After that, I did masturbate often. Now,
tell me would you ever deny yourself such small pleasures in this wondrous journey called life?
Female masturbation is a mystery to most of the people out there; many try to hide it or deny it. Women masturbate
too! Accept it. The surprise a lot of people express when they find that I not only masturbate, but also admit it
unabashedly, tells how much of a taboo it is. And yes, women watch porn. We do, trust me. Unfortunately, despite
women’s affinity for adult films, most porn is geared toward heterosexual men, featuring women who are clearly
not enjoying themselves, are put in potentially degrading and dangerous situations, and are highlighted by the
camera as the primary person to be looked at.
Is there a specific way to masturbate? In the privacy of your own space, there’s no right or wrong way to masturbate. Generally, when we talk about masturbation we mean touching, pressing, rubbing, or massaging a person’s genitals, nipples, or other erogenous zones with the fingers or against an object such as a pillow. It can also include inserting
fingers or an object into the vagina or anus; or stimulating the genitals with toys such as an electric vibrator.
It’s okay to use toys or stimulate any part of your body that feels good—there are as many different ways to masturbate as there are people. Masturbation does not cause diseases; unless you’re using unwashed hands or an unsanitary object, masturbation cannot cause diseases. And unlike sex with a partner, masturbation won’t lead to unintended pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections (STI).
Another myth that needs to be debunked is that one loses their virginity by masturbating. Virginity is just a patriarchal idea forced down through generations to control a woman’s sexuality. Concepts of virginity are sometimes linked with the idea that your vaginal opening is covered by a membrane that is “broken” by vaginal
sex; it’s all a sham, a way to keep women in check and under control.
There are a lot of benefits of masturbation. It can reduce stress, release tension, enhance sleep quality, boost concentration, elevate mood, relieve menstrual cramps, alleviate pain, and improve sexual life. It improves
sexual health by promoting intimacy, exploring self-pleasure and bodily needs, desires, reducing unwanted pregnancies, and preventing STI’s and HIV transmission.

Masturbation only becomes a problem if it begins to interfere with daily life and relationships with friends, family, co-workers, and romantic partners.

It’s okay to masturbate frequently, infrequently or not at all. There’s nothing wrong with not masturbating, if you
don’t want to. Make whatever choices you do around masturbation based on what feels good and right for you, rather
than based on fears of what others may think or myths about what masturbation can do to your body. When it comes to loving yourself and your body, pleasure isn’t just for fun—it’s a form of self-care. Why not treat yourself?

Feature Image Credits: Exberliner

Disha Saxena
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In all the work surrounding us, we often forget ourselves and the reasons behind why we do what we do. DU Beat brings to you 4 ways through which you can take out time for yourself and explores ways to do that.

As soon as we enter August, every college student’s schedule inevitably fills up with lectures, seminars, society meetings, tournaments, and internals. There is a lot that constantly fills up our time, and takes away from us. With all the distractions that we have, balancing our professional and personal lives becomes a challenge. More than anything, it becomes very difficult to take out time for ourselves, and manifest it in a way that makes us feel refreshed.

We’ve tried chalking out schedules, marking calendars, and setting reminders, and have inevitably almost always failed. Creating timetables doesn’t seem feasible in college anymore, especially when you don’t know what can come up when. Despite all the busyness that we’re surrounded by, it’s important that we take out time for ourselves and make the most of it.

Even though, everyone has different ways to feel refreshed, DU Beat brings to you a list of ways through which you can take time out for yourself and manifest it in a way that makes you feel better:

  • Unload a little

It’s important to understand that you’ll never find the time. You’ll always have to take out time, which means cutting down on the other stuff that you’re doing. Delegate some of your responsibility to your peers. Ask your family and friends for help and learn to say no. You cannot keep piling things up on your plate and then regretting doing that.

  • Accept not doing things perfectly

We often take too much of a burden that we can’t carry around. Stop worrying about the little details every breathing second, and start accepting that you can’t get everything done right now. You don’t have to do everything in that particular moment.

  • Schedule in time for yourself

Block an hour for yourself, at least every three days, that you can’t bail on unless there’s an emergency. Organise and plan out things in a way that you get your work done and can afford to spare out time for yourself.

  • Learn what you’re making time for

Find activities to do that make you happy but you don’t generally do. Everyone has different ways of making themselves feel happy. There is never one standard solution. Try out new things and experiment around a little.

To get more insight on how people chose to use their time to refresh themselves, DU Beat spoke to some students of the University of Delhi. Here’s what they have to say:

Jayita Pande, a B.Com.(Hons.) student of Jesus and Mary College, says, “I love the sound of the rain falling on the roof. So I have this use this app called, Relax Melodies, that has a few such sounds and listen to that. It helps me relax and feel better.”

Music has always proven to be therapeutic for all ages. It makes you understand yourself a lot better and feel more at home around. Manya Kakkar, a 19-year-old student pursuing Maths Honours at Jesus and Mary College, adds, “I try to explore my thoughts through music So I listen to beats and think about the ideas of self; why we do the things we do.”

Many kinds of research have claimed that movement is happiness. Dance, yoga, exercise, and all forms of physical activity make one feel more happy and productive about oneself. Maira Ali, a 20-year-old student of the Delhi University, reveals, “Whenever I find time, I try to dance. It makes me feel a lot better about myself and kills all my stress. I forget all my tensions and worries at that moment and just follow the music.”

Antara Rao, a third-year student of Economics Honours at Jesus and Mary College, comments, “I try to take out time for myself to think, and try to understand myself beyond my identities and my relationships with other people. I like to spend a lot of time reading about things like gender or class, just so that I can understand the difference between what parts of me are real or artificial. I like looking at gifs whenever I find time for myself. They make me truly happy because of how innocent, surprising, and human they are.”

Feature Image Credits: Pinterest

Muskan Sethi
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