Latest
DU Beat – Delhi University's Independent Student Newspaper
Tag

love

Browsing
Arts & Culture

Beyond the ‘Interaction Embargo’: Dating an Introvert

By

One can cross paths with an introvert and might want to cross paths again and again. However, dating an introvert might get a little ambiguous sometimes, and human psychology only makes matters worse. It is time to put on the thinking hat and unravel the mysteries.

1. Initiate with the ‘Hi’

‘Should I text first?’

‘Won’t I sound too desperate?’

‘But I am not desperate’

‘This is going downhill already!’

This is what goes down in an introvert’s head, loosening the wires of brains. Try to initiate the conversation with a humble ‘hi!’ before the overthinking trigger is pulled, and the neurons undergo a rough patch even before the actual rough patch begins. Here is a thing about introverts- the imagination level reaches the epitome of visualisation, for instance, imagining being called a creep for the next thirty eight years for sending that one ‘hi’. Start the conversation, a two lettered ‘hi’ never did any harm.

2. The ‘hard to get’ card will not work

The ‘mixed signals’ have to take the back seat when it comes to dating an introvert. It is strongly advised to not use millennials’ (in)famous ‘hard to get’ card or one would have to get slammed by the reverse card. If an introvert assumes that the other person is not interested, they might immediately initiate the ‘distancing protocol’.

3. Three Es: Express! Express! Express!

A simple ‘I liked the thukpa we had at that place you recommended’ or ‘I really loved the song you suggested yesterday’ might add a little but significant sparkle to your conversation. Vent out all the feelings because introverts often bottle up their emotions. Compliment them if you like the colour of their shirt or their collection of novels. Introverts are not akin to Sherlock when it comes to analysing nonverbal communication. Hence, the only solution is to dissolve interpretation and literally do the talking.

4. Slow and steady wins the race

It takes time to open up. Put in your time, effort and everything possiblt. Do not feel disappointed if it takes time to know about a person. Introverts are fond of their personal space, so wait till all the layers unfold. Nevertheless, once they start opening up, do not force the necessity of sharing whatever goes down that brain. It will take time, and a fast forward would only have counter-effects. A person might feel like Mr. Darcy, and you might want to shut the novel but once you come across the underlying introvert self, you can’t help but fall for it the way Elizabeth did.

5. All silence isn’t awkward silence

An ideal date option would be an intimate space, preferably a place which is serene and quiet. For instance, a walk in Champa Gali would work much better than any club in the capital. Silence does not necessarily have to be deafening or awkward. Sometimes it works the other way round, and with introverts- it is the road less taken, literally and metaphorically. Walk along the lanes and streets and enjoy the silence that surrounds. A bonus point- if one starts feeling comfortable even when silence surrounds both, let them know!

6. The trust fall

Once an introvert turns the unfiltered mode on, it means the trust fall was successful. They finally find a person who can be their human diary. It is important to understand that this step is a giant leap of faith as the fear of being judged or the negative consequences of letting out of emotions is a pestering thought, once the trust trembles, there is no coming back.

Remember when Lara Jean said- “The more people that you let into your life, the more they can just walk right out,” Introverts felt it! Just like the Wallflowers, there are Perks of Dating an Introvert. They are great listeners and with the right proportion of time and space, are the most fascinating souls, and as the millennials say- definitely keepers. And just as the universal law of dating applies, “you know when you know”. Give them some time, the way Rajat waited for Ishita. It needed some time, but the fall was way more serene than a random park story. The wait will be beautiful and worth it. Till then, be a part of the stories they share, enjoy the seconds spent. It happens, one step at a time.

Feature Image Credits: Study Breaks Magazine

Priyanshi Banerjee

[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
Arts & Culture

Blurry Lines of Friends with Benefits

By

In the age of instant gratification, longterm commitments can sometimes seem burdensome. Presenting to you, an insight into the weird contrast of being ‘friends with benefits’.

Friends with Benefits, in simple terms, is being friends with the added benefit of a sexual relationship, sans the feelings. In theory, it seems like the perfect idea: you are sleeping with someone you trust and like enough, who has mutual respect for you, but there’s never the added baggage of emotions and commitment. However, contrary to the simplicity it promises, it is a relationship that requires utmost care while being dealt with. Friends with Benefits (FwB) is an interesting dynamic, for it falls between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. There are people you could be romantically compatible with, and there are people you could be sexually compatible with; while there are people who you might have the hots for, they don’t need to be the same people you visualize a happily ever after with. In those cases, if you and they are interested in being around each other sexually, having a chilled out (but a well discussed and thought out) friends with benefits relationship can do wonders.

Like all healthy relationships, the key to a healthy FwB relationship is understanding and communication. For a friends with benefits arrangement to work, you have to know each other and understand what feelings the emotional and sexual dynamic evokes in you. It is also important to communicate about what each person expects and where each is, as the relationship evolves. A third-year student, shared, “Given the difference between sexual and romantic attraction, along with the fact that some people are better as friends, I think a friends with benefits arrangement is ideal. Labeling relationships always leads to unnecessary expectations, which friendship is free from. I find that it is quite liberating in that way. The only thing that one should always keep in mind is that it stays consensual and that there is complete clarity on the terms of the agreement”. But, before getting into one, it is very important to check if you’re both on the same page: that you’re neither looking to commit to the person nor do you want them to commit to you. This helps to avoid misread signals and hurt down the line. It is also important to both remember and remind that this relationship would not develop into anything more intimate.

The romanticisation of friends with benefits in popular culture does not help either. While all FwB might begin with communication and understanding of the equation between the two partners, it is also very likely that one of them might develop feelings down the road. Stringing along the other person, and being the one strung along, are both unhealthy mentally and emotionally. And among all of it is the greatest fear of them all: losing your friendship over this new dynamic.

“FwB is all fun and games until one of them catches feelings and if you’re anywhere like me, you are doomed. I have had my fair share of encounters but a sense of companionship and the possibility of something more always loomed largely. To each its own, but I have gone from liking to majorly disliking friends with benefits solely because I have zero control over myself,” said Anandi, a first-year student. While a friends with benefits relationship is not the most convenient dynamic to initiate, apt precautions on both the partners sides with a truck full of communication and understanding can sustain the relationship. Regardless of the relationship dynamics, being sexually involved with someone is a churning pot of emotions: emotions build, as does trust, intimacy, connection, and familiarity. If there is room to work through challenges to maintain the friendship, even at the expense of the benefits, then you are in a successful FwB relationship.

Feature Image Credits:

Satviki Sanjay

[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
Arts & Culture

Breaking Myths: Divorce, A Taboo

By

Since childhood, we were brought up with stories and fables of happy ending and, quotes saying,“And they lived happily ever after..,” or wait, hang on, did they?

For years the common narrative of marriages, being the sole purpose of a woman’s life has been fed and sold to us in the form of romance novels, movies, songs, soap-operas, etc. She must abide by it, even if things go extremely south, since it’s her duty to serve (courtesy: patriarchy of course!)

As per India Today, unsurprisingly, India has the lowest divorce rate, which go as low as being less than one percent, this in a country which has the highest domestic violence and depression rate. In India, one out of every three married women, face domestic abuse, and, yet we have so many happy successful marriages.

Are people really happy or have they forced themselves in wrong relationships just because of the stigma that comes attached with a divorce?

One such example is of Ross Geller from Friends, Ross Geller received  much flak for going through three divorces in the sitcom. Now, imagine, a Rosselin going through three divorces or a Roopa or a Rubiqa. Society seems to develop a very cold exterior when it comes to judging females with history of failed relationships. In this situation, either of the two things happen: Regressive society makes it tough for you to quit marriage, therefore, you find yourself in a spiral of silence or worse, you, yourself endorse the normalcy in a toxic relationship. So how does this normalcy get propagated? It’s a complex work of the culture that is structured around it.The structure includes, triggering Indian soap operas, which apart from popularising superstition also endorse patriarchy on their lavish sets of never ending television series. Just in case, if you think, it’s primitive thinking and the novel millennial mindset which detests Indian soap operas and, the western culture, is way beyond it, then again you might want to reconsider. Calling it quits, is not only stigmatised for marriages but similar patterns are observed in millennial dating as well.

Notion of women being a therapy centre for poorly raised men is very much part of a popular culture even today. After book series, (later turned into a movie) authored by Anna Todd gained handsome popularity because it sold good, chast, pious girl Tessa Young and bad boy Hardin Scott. In yet another famous book It Ends with Us by Colleen Hoover, readers were left agitated when the protagonist left her abusive husband Ryan for the good guy Atlas. Most readers shipped the toxic relationship that protagonist had with her husband, over the good one.

Prachi Khare, Journalism student, Kamala Nehru College, who is fanatic about American TV drama Grey’s Anatomy, when asked as to why she shipped the toxic relationship of Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd said,”It’s so engaging to watch the vulnerability of characters trying to sustain their relationships.” She further added, “I understand it’s fictional but I find myself like an idiot correlating it with my own life.”

The dangers of such content is that it subconsciously reinforces the wrong relationships, thereby, making adults be in wrong relationships albeit the fact that generational timeline has progressed. Hate to play the devil’s advocate, but the media is based on the preference of people’s taste and, a reflection of the society. Perhaps, we can be more progressive about our choices for structuring an environment which permeates healthy relationships, and is accepting towards the ones, which have failed.

 Feature Image Credits: thedelhiwalla

Umaima Khanam

[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
DUB Speak

Jab We Met 12 Years Ago

By

It’s been 12 years since one of Bollywood’s biggest Rom-com took over our hearts with a beautiful chemistry after Jab we met was released in 2007. 

Imtiaz Ali has always managed to portray extraordinary stories about love, life and friendships that always have a heartfelt impact on us walking out of the theatre. Jab we met is one of those few Bollywood movies which had a Hollywood remake. A Hollywood movie called “leap year” was inspired by the Bollywood classic and also won several hearts. This story about two completely different people and their journey of finding love in each other in extreme circumstances sounds cliche but in this movie, there’s a lot of craziness and laughter with moments of self-realisation and tears.

Geet, a charming bubbly girl who has unrealistic dreams and doesn’t think much, makes stupid decisions and then endure them like they weren’t the consequences of her own actions, a character we can all relate to. She lives her life unapologetically and doesn’t seek anyone’s validation no matter what the outcome. When she comes across Aditya, a serious guy who always had everything planned out for him and had real pride in his thoughtful way of living. You’d think for a man who reckons so thoroughly about everything and is a lot more serious in life wouldn’t face any sort of setbacks and awful times. That’s when the movie teaches you that you could choose to live either way but life would surprise you in every aspect and you would have to face terrible times no matter what. There’s no winner or loser here. 

This movie has also taught us that no matter how hard you hit the rock bottom, tough times don’t last forever and things work out eventually. This might sound like a utopian thought but it’s just all about perspective. The movie took the common problems of the audience and gave a viewpoint for the way out. The hardships of heartbreak, rejection, being cheated on, issues with family, and career problems. How many times have we seen a future with someone and planned everything with that person and witnessed it turning out a lesson for life? It’s true that things don’t work out the way we always want them to. And it’s fine because there’s always a better side to it. It doesn’t always have to be with the person you’ve had a history with. Jab we met made me realise that it’s not about your first love, but the love of your life.

One’s never too grown-up or proud to try the most childish ways to get over things if it makes them feel better. If it makes you feel better to flush down a picture of a toxic ex, DO IT. If you’re not happy with what you’re doing in your life, it’s never too late to start over, go with it and turn things around. And you don’t always have to hate the people who are not in your life anymore, you can always learn from them and thank them and ace in life. 

Let’s not ignore the unrealistic romantic standards the movie has set for us. If the movie was a happy ending for Aditya and Geet, it was a disastrous end for Anshuman. But let’s face it, we have all been at both ends and after seeing the movie, I definitely do not want to be at the third end where I miss my train at Ratlam station and get lectured about how “Akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai“.

Twelve years and no other story beats that combination of love, laughter and tears. Thank you for all the life lessons better than any Tedtalk.

Feature Image Credits: IMDB

Avni Dhawan

[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
Arts & Culture

The Bizarre, Fledgling “Straight Pride” Movement

By

In response to Pride celebrations, a reactionary movement has sprung up to “reclaim” space for the black and white of heterosexuality amid rainbow hues.

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender,
Queer+ (LGBTQ+) community has
only recently garnered widespread
acceptance with the advent of increased
representation, favourable leaps in
legislative matters, and a heightening
of social awareness, which were
achieved after arduous struggles by the
marginalised community. The concept
of Pride in queer context implies the
promotion of self-affirmation, equality,
and dignity within individuals with a non-
binary sexual identity, a remembrance of
the bigotry (still) faced by the community,
and a celebration of the strides made.
Pride events like parades, festivals,
marches, and formation of queer
collective aim to normalise homosexuality
in the face of the tyrannising
heteronormative binary. Pride is also
quite a revolutionary concept that has
emboldened a community to embrace
their identity, which, earlier they had
to veil with a monochromatic shroud.
The conspicuous and colourful nature of
these celebrations reflects the collective
coming-out of the long-closeted
community into the mainstream.
Most Pride events happen annually
during June, which has been instated
as “Pride Month” to commemorate the
New York Stonewall Inn Riots of 1969 –
the first robust act of resistance against
a repressive administration. This year
witnessed the 50th anniversary of this
pivotal moment of the gay liberation
movement. Queer representation hit
the peak of main(lame)-stream with the
release of Taylor Swift’s kind of excessive,
kind of stereotypical, yet allegedly well-
intended “gay” music video, You Need to
Calm Down.
In India, on 6th September, the first anniversary of the scrapping of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code which criminalised homosexual intercourse, was celebrated with great fervour across the University of Delhi (DU) in various institutions. Kamala Nehru College, in collaboration with Nazariya, a queer, feminist resource group, organised a Pride event in their college. Lady Shri Ram College observed a hearty affair as well, with a queer-themed open mic, and a Pride party, followed by a Pride march organised by the college’s Women’s Development Cell. Throughout the North and the South Campus, a galore of Pride celebrations with a multitude of Pride flags, representing the multitudinous sexuality spectrum were fluttering through, strewn across streets, sewn into outfits, and painted on faces.
However, the ostensible nature of these celebrations, going in full-swing irked the likes of a few. A reactionary movement to reclaim the allegedly tarnished pride of heterosexuals, given the increased homosexual social movement, sprang up. Boston, and Massachusetts observed a Straight Pride Parade on 31st August. The organisers, who hold ties with the extreme-right movement in America, justified the event by accusing the identity politics of the left and calling for greater representation for straight people.

An elementary school in Mumbai, which goes by the name of Sanskriti School, joined in on the fad and insisted upon a Straight Pride Parade. An Instagram handle was made to perpetuate the novel idea but it can no longer be found on Instagram, reportedly owing to the negative feedback it received from the community on Instagram.
The Straight Pride Movement is not an idea in its nascence, and can be traced back to the 1980s, but something is to be said about its fledgling popularity. Even though both the aforementioned efforts were dwarfed by counter-protesters, they still gained traction and were valid enough for a few to latch on to it. This reveals the fragility of a small group of heterosexuals who feel insecure and attacked by the growing acceptance of a long-ostracised community.
Pride is a resistive, cultural movement with a lot of history, gravitas, and significance for the LGBTQ+ community, which is being undermined by such reactionary, shallow ventures. It is rightly said, “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

Feature Image Credits: Akarsh Mathur for DU Beat

Prisha Saxena
[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
DUB Speak

Growing Up with Siblings

By

2nd May is celebrated as Brothers and Sisters Day. Let us cherish the bond and understand how they impact our lives.

Growing up with siblings is one roller coaster ride. They are a bunch of people you can’t live with, in peace, but definitely cannot imagine your lives without. My growing up years wouldn’t be half as fun and interesting as they had been if not were for my siblings. Our faintest memories include pulling each other’s hair part one moment while being partners of crime in our mischief the very next moment. Sakshi from Kamala Nehru College says, “My younger brother makes my life hell but I start missing him the moment he is not at home.”

A sibling relationship is likely to be the most enduring of our lives. The impact they have on our young and adult lives is enormous – they shape our history and our character, to a far greater extent than is usually acknowledged.Siblings are your first friends, the ones you confide in with all your secrets. Simran Sharma from Gargi College recalls the nights spent talking to her sister about anything and everything. She found her best friend in her elder sister.

On being asked about her favorite memory with her sister, Kajal from Shaheed Bhagat Singh College shared that how her sister saved her from their father when she came back from a late night party.

Keeping jokes aside, siblings are also the most dependable people you could lean on at any hour. I remember falling back on them during the toughest period of my life and them holding my back when I needed the most. They can be your worst critics giving you reality checks from time to time and your number one cheer leader clapping the loudest at our victories. From lost jobs to bad break ups, if you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on, your sibling will be there in seconds.

There’s a lot that we need to acknowledge and thank our siblings for. On this day, let us thank the pillars of our lives without whom life wouldn’t be the same.

 

Feature Image credits: Unsplash

Shreya Agrawal

[email protected]

 

 

 

Keep Reading
By
sex amma

Sex Amma: The First Moment

By

I am a 20-year-old guy. I have had some relationships in the past but I haven’t kissed or made out with anyone. Recently I met a girl who is now my girlfriend. I was glad to share the magical moment with her. However, it wasn’t what I expected. Is there something wrong with me, Amma? Please help!”

My dear dosa,
Amma would like to congratulate you for finding a lovely kulfi for yourself. The magic of the first time is highly anticipated by young ones. The idea of manifesting all your fantasies and dreams at once, in the first time itself; that is a surreal expectation per se.
The ‘first time’ is highly romanticised even in pop culture, which Amma does not really approve of. Amma has always advocated the liberty of love, but due to this glamorisation of this beautiful emotion, her macchas and macchis have been put under a tremendous amount of pressure.
First times are mostly clumsy, uncomfortable, and even off-putting. But that is just how you derive your true feelings, my falooda. It is through these ‘first times’ that we become closer friends and better companions.

So love on, my little sugarcane. Do not despair if the first time is not the best, because no matter what it is, you will always remember it as a beautiful memory. But Amma would again emphasise, do not disgrace love by acting on infatuation desperately. Make sure your idli is comfortable with sharing this moment with you, that she understands that you can’t be perfect the first time. Remember what Amma says: consent is the key to a macchi’s heart. Follow your heart, my poli. Amma wishes you the best.
Sex Amma
[email protected]

(Write to Sex Amma at sexamma@ dubeaTt.com to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Keep Reading
By
DUB Speak

The Beauty of Young Love

By

Young Love is naïve, innocent, and intense. It is one of the most sincere feelings a person experiences. It is time we acknowledged the beauty of young love and incorporate it into our lives.

We have all been caught in the throngs of having a massive crush, which inexplicably ended up becoming teenage love if our feelings were reciprocated. Teenage love is the sweetest of joys and its beauty comes from the lack of wariness that both individuals have. This innocent form of love that we experience when we are 14 or 15 lasts for a short while. Time hardens most of us, our idealism and unconditional faith in love go out of the window post our first heartbreak. Caution, over-thinking, and insecurities seep into our behaviour until we forget what it is like to love someone wholly and unconditionally.

As we step into college, most of us are burdened with commitment issues. We try not to fall for someone too soon and too hard. Breakups, disappointments, and popular culture have made us afraid of love. We are afraid of things falling apart before they even start, we write people off without giving them a chance, and we have caged our hearts as if they were fragile pieces of intricate glass.

Nat Cole King once crooned, “The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” His words continue to be as true today as they ever were. We are prudent when it comes to love and it is causing us nothing but pain. To close off our hearts to most natural of human instincts of loving and forming bonds is dangerous and hurtful.

Image Credits: Karen Rozetsky
Image Credits: Karen Rozetsky

The beauty of young love stems from the fact that even though it is largely used in the context of teenagers, it isn’t limited to them. Young love can happen in the final year of college when you’re desperately looking for it or when you are 45 and you aren’t. We cannot make ourselves fall in love with another person. However, we can only make sure that we don’t close off our heart when we meet the right one. Sure, this method might lead to a fair share of heartbreaks, but that does not make it any less worth it. Perhaps it will last forever, perhaps it won’t. There is no effective way to predict anything. A love story is no less beautiful than one that lasts a lifetime. After all, spring is beautiful, even if just lasts a second.

It is high time we stop camouflaging our emotions or second-guessing the intentions of others. We are too cautious, too careful, and too wary. We fear love rather than seek it and it is costing us our happiness. Perhaps it is time to throw caution out of the window and fall head over heels in love. Perhaps it is time we loved without worrying about where things would go. Like they say, the heart wants, what the heart wants.

 

Feature Image Credits: Karen Rozetsky
Kinjal Pandey
[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
DUB Speak

V-Day Follow Up – What it Means to be in an Old-School Relationship

By

An old-school relationship is about two people putting in their best effort, because what they see on the other side of the picture, is promising.

The best thing about love is choice. We get to consciously, deliberately choose who we fall, and stay in love with. Sure, there are scenarios of unrequited love, or inevitable heartbreaks, but the subject matter here are the lucky few, who have found themselves a partner worth working-hard for. These are the ones who landed in the lap of love in their first attempt, or experimented with the other fish in the sea before finally deciding that this is where their peace comes from. And no, let’s not belittle their feelings to something juvenile and fleeting, they do exist.

When we are representing the modern student community, who are educated in ways and forms far beyond their years (in a quantitative sense) we cannot not talk about concepts like Hedonism, or happiness of the self. Another way of looking at it would be realising that for old-school romantics, pure, undiluted love is where most of their happiness originates from.

While knowledge is, arguably, the most precious possession of a human, unnecessary knowledge from corrupt sources could be detrimental. There are a hundred different shows online exhibiting to you how fickle modern-day love is, and how every form of emotional attachment results in heartbreak. Some of us have had first-hand experience of, if not betrayal, just falling out of love. And then there is Tinder staring us in the face, perpetually drilling into us the need to swipe right.

What I am trying to propagate here is that social media, combined with peer-pressure has made us fall into this unforgiving loop of believing that love does not exist, whilst constantly making it a social compulsion to be associated with someone.

Love can be a beautiful feeling, provided both the individuals involved are on the same page. It should not be one person looking for a non-serious association (absolutely no derogatory undertones here) and the other shoving effort down their partner’s throats. Experimenting is essential, life is not a Disney movie. You need to educate your mind and familiarise your body around the concept of love. Be it looking at the emotional provocations, your connection with the person, or the gender that you prefer, discover yourself!

But then I am acting as a mouthpiece for those, who, with or without trying, have found a person they identify with on romantic grounds.

Love, in any which way, is a gamble. Any given day, it could stop working out. But you trust the other person, regardless. It is not an anxious, obsessive feeling of fear of loss, rather an almost homely feeling where you are safe in the knowledge that there is a person you can fall back to when everything else falls apart.

To put the idea in very simple terms, an old-school relationship is like an extended version of the best part of love – courtship. Where you are building emotional intimacy, rather than physical intimacy. One does not change the other person in a way that they are morphed into a replica of theirs. But there is room for improvement for both as they grow together in love. There is mutual effort, a two-way exchange of approval and forgiveness. They don’t leave the relationship when the slightest of inconveniences comes their way. You see, that is the easy thing to do, but it does take away all of the beauty.

Most importantly, the two men, the two women, or the man and woman involved, do not complete each other, no! They are not hemispheres that need their counterparts to become whole. They exist as two separate entities looking for companionship that is deep-rooted and pristine.
Love does not have to grow old, or be limited to a day.

Image Credits: wellsanfrancisco
Image Caption: Old-school love is difficult, but rewarding.

Maumil Mehraj
[email protected]

Keep Reading
By
Arts & Culture

Love: A Choice

By

The feeling of love is immediate. It cannot be forced. But even this feeling becomes a choice. A choice to act upon.

In ‘Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows’, Dumbledore told Harry, “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” The emotion, and the attached exclusivity and essentiality of love is not entirely unjustified. A powerful emotion, that balances in a spectrum of joy and heartbreak, love is an exquisite feeling. And in turbulent times like ours, this feeling is a welcome respite. But despite the power of love, is it justified when it crosses the limits? Is it justified when it becomes uncomfortable for the object of one’s affection? Everyone feels the emotion of love, in fact, everyone wants to feel it so. In this conflict, could we claim that love is an active choice?

The initial response to a good experience is that of being in awe of it. We come to appreciate and elevate the experience or the person. Sometimes, this awe or appreciation solidifies into a strong connect. Love, then, is a very natural ‘process’. It is instant and gradual, at once. The realisation takes time. But once registered, the follow-up action in the process is to act on the instinctive emotion. The question then becomes: “How do I seek the validation for my emotional soaring?” or “Will I find a reciprocal of my emotions in the object of my affection?” Falling in love is not the difficult part. It is a great fall. And like every fall, what matters is really the resilience to carry on, to rise up and seek. Or to act on the love felt.

“Essentially, seeing as how we seek a reciprocative response to our emotions, and also that our generation is in a fix about the idea of commitment, love is really a choice,” says Apoorva Singh, a third-year student at Hindu College. She adds, “It is a choice because over time, it becomes a practice of your own volition. Your emotional responses can change, for one. And so, as the time goes by, love becomes increasingly a choice.”

Truly, in its initial or even in its later stages, love becomes a choicely celebration. If you do not feel the urge to act on an amorous feeling, you can always sideline the same, hoping that it will ‘pass on’. Simply because love cannot be enforced, nor imposed on the other. It is an inherent feeling. But the subsequent acting on it, is a perfect model that works out and calls upon our awake consciousness. So love becomes an active choice, doesn’t it?

Feature Image Credits: NBC News

Kartik Chauhan

[email protected]

 

 

 

 

Keep Reading
By