Bazinga: DU introduces compulsory sex education courses in line with Indian sanskaars

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In one of its most revolutionary reforms till date, Delhi University has decided to introduce a compulsory sex education course from next year. In order to not upset parents and politicians with the “s” word and to respect Indian culture, the course will be called Hindi Sanskaars 101 and the curriculum will include texts on how to stay away from temptation and how to find the perfect heterosexual mate from your caste. Supplementary chapters on Chinese food and its effect on rape culture and the ill effects of live-in relationships for women in particular will be included. Though the entire course has not been disclosed yet, extensive beating about the bush, pun intended, is to be expectedwith diagrammatic discussion on the reproductive systems of plants.

Whether it will be in the form of a qualifying, allied or credit course is yet to be decided by the administration but it has been declared that there will be a 75 mark theoretical paper and 25 marks worth of internal assessment. “Delhi University has always been a very liberal and progressive university. It is time to accept that youngsters of today are very modern and it is important for us tomake them aware of and prepared for the consequences of wearing shorts”, said an abstaining member of the administration, Pyaare Hilaake.

Contrary to the implementation of the FYUP or the CBCS, the initial response from student and teacher bodies has by and large been positive. A member of a student body, who has previously participated in the outrage against the Kiss of Love movement welcomed the new course and said, “Students need to be made to realise that sex is impure and only married couples can partake in this sin without compromising on our values. Personal liberty and consent have no place in our culture.”

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news. We firmly believe sex education should be made mandatory for youngsters, not Hindi Sanskaars 101, but the kind that talks about contraception and safety.

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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