DUB Speak

An open letter from a corrupt politician to people who didn’t vote

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Hello old friend,

The elections just went by in your city and the turnout didn’t climb up by much this time either and you have shown solidarity to our cause by taking a stand. Please don’t feel guilty for not voting, no matter how much the media and activists says so. You have taken a stand and you have chosen to support us and there is no way we are going to let you down, individually. Collectively, we aren’t responsible for our actions and hence, you will have to watch out for yourself.

The mess of democracy to elect clean candidates and those who actually work takes out all the fun and lechery from the political process and it is only because of people like you that it still survives. You had the chance to vote but you didn’t. You felt lazy at the right time and you made sure to make the most of your holiday rather than sweating it out in queues to vote for a candidate that won’t care about making money as much as we do.

You also had your name in electoral rolls as well as your Voter’s ID card, but not going to vote is a definite sign of belief in our cause and furthering our agenda to loot money out of the country and make sure that no reason survives in the long run. Your love for watching movies and TV shows is not hidden from anybody and your apathy towards the political systems has just made it easier for us to get through without much intervention. Fourth season of Game of Thrones is underway and the government expects you to vote? Blasphemous, isn’t it?

I hope you are enjoying your shows as much as we are enjoying partying off the taxpayer’s money. I hope you continue to ignore reports of scams and scandals in the newspaper which the media makes up, because if the country is meant to survive, it will. How much change can a vote bring, anyway? I thank you for staying out of the mess and lending your voice to civil disobedience.

Perhaps you don’t like any candidate and you believe all are thieves and debauchers. Hence you didn’t go, which is a perfectly good reason because voting NOTA is wasting your time, energy and money.

It has been too much work for me getting this letter typed from one of my literate sycophants and I must get back to some harassments and kidnapping to feel better. I hope you will stand in the cause of anarchy in the future as well. Thank you for not giving the right candidates a chance and we made sure people voted for us on your blank vote which was going to go waste, anyway. You can thank us later since we have a little less time to pay heed to your words and wishes.

Thanking you from the bottom of the alcohol bottle I am sending along,

Your good old corrupt politician


Image courtesy: educationalservice.net

Mayank Jain
Trainee Editor at Youth Ki Awaaz. Tweets @mayank1029 ! Believer in the power of happiness, internet and great food. Loves to read, write and disucss. A lot more than just boring atoms.

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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