Humouroscope: 17th-23rd March

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Aries: Your friends will finally find out that you are still addicted to Chota Bheem, we feel for you.

Taurus: Be wary of DTC’s, you will have your pocket picked. And when they finally do find your wallet, some dark and dirty secrets will be revealed, publicly.

Gemini: Because of your wild Holi adventures this year you will look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer till next Holi

Cancer: You will be the butt of jokes when you say the following words to your friends ‘Bhai please meri selfie kheench de.’

Leo: Re watch this season of Koffee wth Karan, it’ll help you in the upcoming internal exam.

Virgo: Your elder brother is about to steal all the coins from your coin collection and give them out to charity.

Libra: Get hit by at least 3 water balloons each day, it’ll bring you good luck. This applies to all festivals including Holi since we know that Librans are not really into bathing.

Scorpio: Voting for the third front this time would benefit you personally, wear red while you go to vote.

Sagittarius: If you’re wondering why you had 32 Gujiyas in one go this Holi, it wasn’t because you were watching Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and you were bored, it was because of Bhaang beta, Bhaang.

Capricorn: You will have some ill luck around public toilets. Do make sure you remain seated during the entire performance.

Aquarius: You’d be sore for about 2 weeks from that college trip you took, the one which was called ‘Tour Groupe Lube Aynard’.

Pisces: Yes, you are looking for options to celebrate your birthday. We don’t recommend Twinkle Kumar Super Famous Chaat Bhandar.


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Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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