A
ries
You will drop your phone. Again. And while the world will be WhatsApp-ing away to glory, you, well, will not be doing the same. Wear mauve with orange polka dots to hasten your phone’s recovery.
Taurus
Finances look good. The pair of jeans you’ve been eyeing for ages is finally going on sale. But bad news on the health front, your acne is going to make a comeback. Stock up on some Vicco Turmeric.
Gemini
Extremely high chances of getting caught in the rain this week so keep an umbrella at all times. NOT a raincoat – the cards advise caution, not dorkiness.
Cancer
Quit being your usual emo self and flooding your texts with so many emoticons! Your girl/boyfriend is getting really annoyed and might just dump you.
Leo
Not winning the lottery this week either, so stop wasting money on frivolous pursuits. There were higher chances of you topping the university, and, well, that didn’t happen.
Virgo
The stars aren’t happy with you this week. You will get caught by the anti-ragging squad prowling the campus. Even if you’re just indulging in some ‘friendly introductions’.
Libra
Last year’s result proves you can’t balance work and play. Time for Jack to become very dull if he wants a future. Sad, but true.
Scorpio
Not getting a seat in the metro this entire week. But you will find an autowala who will ‘go by meter’ around Monday.
Sagittarius
This week’s tough on love. Your cute crush has found their cute crush, so you’ll have to look elsewhere. Pray to the ‘Virgin tree’ for direction.
Capricorn
Rejoice. You will finally get your hands on the TV remote this Saturday. But the fact remains that you are watching TV on a Saturday night and don’t have a life.
Aquarius
Visitors expected at the end of this week. Probably distant aunts who still pull your cheeks and tell you, “Arrey, how ‘big’ you’ve become!” And your mother will insist you stay at home.
Pisces
You will feel like a fish out of water in these first few weeks of college, but what else can you expect when you’re wearing those yellow Crocs of yours?
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