Hello readers! Amma has been noticing that you are resorting to unsolicited sex advice from the books you read, shows you watch and your friends sharing their one night stand horror stories. You do know that regardless of your sexual experience, only awareness and knowledge will allow you to take control and feel empowered, right? My dear machhas and machhis, allow Amma to help you sail your boat. 

The first-time 

If you feel that your first time is going to be painful and hurt like hell especially my little idlis, you need to calm down and stop overthinking. The right amount of foreplay can lessen the potential pain. Relax, communicate and use lots of lube for a good time.

Also Amma believes that your first-time can be just a taster and take the awkwardness out, so you know what you’re doing when the right one comes along. After all you need to try the different mirchis to find what suits you best. While there’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right spice, if you want to have sex with someone you’re not head over heels for, it’s perfectly fine. Just always remember that consent is the key to your uttapam’s heart.

Pleasure beyond penetration

Amma feels penetration is overrated, mainly because it doesn’t include the experiences of my gay and queer chutneys. Oral sex, erotic massage, sexting, hand jobs, mutual masturbation, petting and tribbing are a few non-penetrative options for you and your uttapam to consider. Amma advocates that you define your own pleasure.

Oral Sex

While one cannot get pregnant from oral sex, diseases like herpes, HPV, syphilis, HIV and gonorrhea can be commonly acquired via mouth. Because it’s easier to prevent the sambhar from spilling than to clean it later, Amma advises you all to use condoms even while indulging in oral sex. For all the unaware dosas and vadas, condoms are flavored for this very reason. 

Like the movies

Sex in movies is actually opposite of what might happen in real life. Get it straight – no one rolls around the bed with such grace and smoothness. Those scenes are staged and hopefully yours aren’t. Amma loves playing through moaning and foreplay, you should try it too! Don’t be bummed out if you are unable to switch positions that effortlessly. 

At the end of day all that matters to Amma is that her lovelies are safe and having fun. Make sure you’re communicating with your uttapams and educating yourself about sexual health for better consensual experiences! 

Write to me your sex related queries and Amma will sort them for you!

Sex Amma

[email protected]




Amma, yesterday my boyfriend and I had a cosy time together, all was good, but today when I woke up I saw a big blue coloured bruise on the side of my neck. I don’t know what to do about it. Help me out!

My dearest idli,

Calm down, it is nothing to worry about, you have just got your first love bite! Yes, you read it right. Love bites, commonly know as, hickeys are very common in spicy sexual activities and arise due to the continuous tugging of epidermal skin, lasting more than 20 to 30 seconds, such as from a violent kiss or a bite. These passionate and prolonged manoeuvres appear as something unbearable to the tender and tiny blood vessels present just below our skin, known as capillaries, making them burst and causing the small blueish bruise.

The kind of a reaction one has to them is variable, some vadas and idlis really admire the reddish blue mark and consider it as a symbol of memory, recalling the steamy moments they spent with their partners. However, there are others who owing to the difficulties of hiding it or the uncomfort they feel while or after getting it make them detest love bites, hence the consent of your partner before planting him or her with one is very important. Amma, also in her days of youth often covered her neck with a blue scarf, which she bought specifically for this purpose.

However, it’s not always the sides of the neck which can be chosen, a hickey can be given anywhere on the collar bone, chest or for that matter any part of the skin which has exposed blood capillaries, close to the surface. Coming back to your question, Amma recalls of your vada not informing or asking you about his plan of embedding your neck with a mark, this action makes Amma doubt his crispness. So, make sure you talk about this the next time you meet him. Also, since till now Amma is aware of your innocence sweetness like Rawa Kesari, I feel its important to tell you that the reddish blue spot is not permanent and will vanish max in a week. So, if you have traditional Indian parents or irritating high school friends, rock this week with high necks or scarfs.

With love 



Dear Amma,

I have just started sexting my partner and we have been enjoying it a lot together. However, I can’t help but feel a little clueless at times. What are some basic things I should keep in mind?


Firstly, Amma is very happy you all are getting the opportunity to explore attraction and sex online; You can enjoy the person even when they are not near you. In amma’s days, she had to wait for her lovers to return from wherever they had gone to do some chutney-making.

Secondly, over the years, with the help of some young idlis like you, Amma also learnt technology and perfected the art of sexting. Amma has eagerly learnt the secret tips and needless to say, enjoys sexting a lot. Here are some of the things that you should not be doing.

Never show your face in the explicit images you send your partner to get in a steamy mood. No matter how trustworthy you think they are, it might go on to cause problems in the future. It’s easier to prevent the sambhar from spilling than it is to clean it later. Don’t send your messages on a platform which leaves imprints or where your data isn’t safe. While naughty texts are fun, you wouldn’t want to be caught in an uncomfortable situation where someone else accidentally reads them. You wouldn’t want to spill your idli– making recipe to the public, right? Don’t be afraid to get creative. Sexting is a space where you can explore kinks and fantasies without actually doing them, so you get a taste of what it would feel in real life without actually doing it. Through sexting, you get a taste of what you would like and not. Don’t give without receiving. It goes without saying, no one likes a partner (be it sexting or in real life) who only takes but never gives the same.

While keeping in mind the things you shouldn’t be doing, here are the things that you should be doing in their place. Do take your time to discover what angles and lighting work best and makes you look your best erotic self. Do check twice before sending to ensure you are sending it to the right person.

Here are some basic guidelines and what Amma has learnt from her experience. Keep these and your general safety and happiness in mind and you’ll be good to go! Happy sexting, my child!

(Write to Sex Amma at [email protected] to get all your queries about sex answered.)

Sex Amma

[email protected]