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JOMO v/s FOMO

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In this happening world, it is quite impossible to catch up with everything and we end up missing on something or the other. The feeling of joy or fear of missing out on something is what decides if you have JOMO or FOMO. 

In the world of social media, keeping up with all the latest happenings, attending social events and parties forms a part of the list of things that we’re supposed to do. You open Instagram once and see people vacationing or partying and feel sad about the fact that you are working or studying. This is where FOMO starts. Going out, meeting new people, making friends and learning new things brings happiness to some people. However, there are a set of people who feel better to not connect with people and miss out on social events and at the same time feel good about it. Knowing about the fact that somewhere someone is having a good time but not being impacted by it is what the opposite of FOMO called JOMO stands for.

There are a number of people around us who face both JOMO and FOMO. The two terms are an antithesis to each other. While JOMO is all about disconnecting, opting out and being okay with where you are, FOMO is the fear of missing out on something that others are a part of. Feeling sad about the fact that your friends are having fun at a party that you aren’t invited to makes up for FOMO. In contrast to this, JOMO refers to understanding ourselves and choosing what we want to do or not do. 

Aatreyee Tamuly, a second-year student of Miranda House feels that the whole trend of FOMO started with the coming up of social media. She further adds, “Every second person now seems to be suffering from FOMO which leads to sadness or even depression. Even now there might be one person on your social media enjoying and this will make you doubt what you are currently doing.” However, she feels like she suffers from both FOMO and JOMO at different times. She adds, “I have severe FOMO when friends make plans without me but I have JOMO on missing on to some family functions and other events.”

Priyanshi Singh said, “I have FOMO when there is some BTS concert going on”. Another student of Miranda House, Dhritee Bordoloi also feels that she suffers from both the syndromes and it completely depends on the situation. She said, “I have FOMO when there are get-togethers and I am not invited. In college as a first-year kid seeing people go out and have fun made me feel left out and lonely. However, I feel JOMO when I have had a tiring week and want to spend some time with myself. In such a situation, no matter what a lit life others are having, I am relieved to be in my own room spending time alone.”

FOMO and JOMO are concepts that differ from person to person. Being college goers, it is very common to suffer from FOMO. However, FOMO is a syndrome which can have worse outcomes while JOMO can help you lead a happy life. Being in your own comfortable space and feeling good about it is the mantra to a happy life. There are a number of reasons for embracing JOMO. Spending our free time consumed by the drama of social media leads to a lack of time for other activities. Getting away from FOMO and moving towards JOMO will get you more time for carrying out productive tasks.  

Saving up on money is, of course, the main reason for embracing JOMO. While FOMO can leave you in debt, JOMO can help you save up for anything that you wanted to buy. Being free from unwanted commitments and online addictions also mean more space and time for spontaneous acts and unplanned moments. Another important benefit of JOMO is that it allows you to experience life at its fullest. It helps us slow down and know ourselves better.

We’ve got one life and we can’t spend it with the fear of missing something. 

As Naina in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani said, “Life mei jitna bhi try karo, kuch na kuch to chootega hi. Isliye jahan hain, wahan ka hi maza lete hai. (No matter how hard we try; we can’t explore everything. So it’s better to enjoy where we are, what we do and appreciate what we have.)”

It is better to be joyful and choose real connections rather than shallow distractions. 

Feature Image Credits: Wonder How to

Priya Chauhan

[email protected]

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Struggling With FOMO in College Life

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College students often find themselves grappling with the Fear Of Missing Out, endearingly shortened to ‘FOMO’, as they struggle to keep their lives together. Here’s delving deep into this fear to understand it better.

College years are an amalgamation of a never-ending struggle for attendance, CGPA, friends, and social life. Managing all of these dimensions, and devoting equal attention to all of these aspects become quite impossible and we end up missing out on one thing or the other in our bid to keep them all in our control. No matter how much we try, acing the art of keeping a perfect balance between all these aspects is one Herculean task.

“I need to complete my assignments and my friends are out there partying and having fun,” or “I’ll miss out on an awesome trip with my friends if I pursue this internship in the summers,” and the more famous one, “I must keep up with the show that I hate, because I want to be relevant” etc.. If you have had similar thoughts draining you out of joy and making you constantly discontented with your life, you are suffering from a syndrome called FOMO.

FOMO is defined as anxiety than an exciting or an interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.

Youngsters are most vulnerable to FOMO as anxiety of living a perfect life and comparing their lifestyles with that of their peers constantly pressurize them. Darlen McLaughlin, assistant professor at the Texas A&M Health Science College says, “FOMO is especially rampant in the millennial community because they see a peer achieving something they want, and somehow in their mind, that achievement means something is being ‘taken away’ from them.” This could, perhaps, be linked to the kind of connectivity that we have – with people posing on Instagram, Facebook, etc., it becomes difficult not to compare yourself with others. And the verity of the virtual image of people is always a big question mark, that seems to get blurred in our fit of envy.

Constantly getting affected by this fear hampers productivity and ends up in acute dissatisfaction. Thus, dealing with FOMO in a smart manner is essential to retain one’s sanity.

It becomes imperative to internalize the fact that no matter what you do, you’ll always miss out on something. Constantly dwelling on what you are missing out will strip you of your satisfaction. It is also significant to prioritise, so you invest your time in activities that are yielding and actually interest you. So, tell yourself that’s okay to miss a few parties or outings as you are working towards an even more important goal.

Besides, this idea of the Gen-Y, that says that there has to be this constant state of bliss is especially problematic. Not saying that there shouldn’t be ambition, or motivation to be able to do everything, but one must realise that it is okay to have bad days, or dissociation, or not having watched the show that everyone seems to be talking about.

Bottom line is that for everyone, their mental health should be their number one priority, even if it means disappointing your friends and peers.

 

Image Credits: The Irish Times

 

Shreya Agrawal

[email protected]

 

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31 October in DU: The Fear of College

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As exciting as college is, there are some downsides to it as well. Sometimes it is too much pressure. Or is it the case always? Let us explore this. 

31 October 2018 is a special day because it is Halloween. But the speciality of the day is in the idea that it is meant to celebrate fear and in that, it is meant to help us learn to stay strong through the moments of fear. Fear is a complex emotion, to say the least. It takes away all our initiative when it strikes. But sometimes it works in the opposite direction too. All of us would relate with the fact that we as students cannot work unless we have the fear of deadlines seeing as how many of us write our assignments on the last date of submission. So maybe fear works to create this productivity for us. But there are some fears that can never work in a positive way.  These fears feed on you. And burdened by such elements, we see ourselves plummeting to a swift doom. The aforementioned fears are the fears of seclusion, anxiety and judgement in college. All of us have felt them. In fact, we have lived them. As distressed as they make us, they also work some lessons into us. These lessons are often not registered by us.

Everyday is a mounting challenge for us when we do not recognize the importance of our beliefs. Our ideals are not necessarily always  extensive or  accurate, but these beliefs will make us  learn to hold on to ourselves. And that is what we must do, when we feel secluded. At times, we feel dejected and abandoned. But more often than not, this feeling of being lost comes of its own accord. It is in these times that we fail to recognize the companionship of our friends because we are broken by the ignorance of an indifferent acquaintance. It appears that the arbitrary opinions of a person weigh us down too much. So much so that we restrain ourselves from a social background and accept seclusion as the way of life. It happens that seclusion is inflicted by others. But in that moment, whom do you latch on to? The model fear or of hope? Answer yourself. You will probably answer in favour of the latter, and that is when you know you have won the battle with seclusion.

Dr. Jennifer Guttman, a clinical psychologist and cognitive-behaviorist in one of her videos says, “Whether it be dealing with something you are avoiding or overcoming an insecurity, facing your fears is important when it comes to getting the most out of life.”

It is natural for us to feel out of place, anxious, and even fear the judgement that surrounds us. People can hold prejudices close to themselves about you despite all your efforts to put your best foot forward. This disappointing truth sometimes takes away our incentive to work in a social construct. Forcing us to withdraw to such a state of being self-cornered, this fear can wreak great havoc in our lives. But then, it is a choice. A choice to fall prey to this deception of fear would ultimately mean the end of a lot of opportunities. So when you are facing fear next time, remember what Halloween teaches us.

Remember that fear makes the wolf look bigger than he is. Remember that “Fear makes you a prisoner, Hope sets you free.”

Feature Image Credits: Thrive Global

Kartik Chauhan

[email protected]

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