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Memory is the most important tool which oppressed people have. The oppressors want us to have amnesia. The only potent weapon we have as people is memory. “Our memory will always help us to sustain the struggle against injustice,” said Khalid Parvez in an interview with David Barsmain. Indeed, between the neat beds of crimson bloom, her fragrance is like a time machine, granting me a fleeting visit to the land that clings on to nothing, but memories. To my mother’s land. To memory.

Aayat: “Appi it’s not working, why can’t click a photo?”

Mir: “Give it to me, give it to me, I know how to do it…It’s on video mode, now try it like this.”

As god sits on a Shikara painting the paradise, he paints it deep blue and green. A lake so magnificent that it reflects the willing canvas of the mountain and sky. And when he strikes the brush he weaves strings of harmony, and when he strikes the brush he writes poetic songs of the light that is played upon the wind dancing ruffles of willows and trees, and when he strikes the brush he breaks dawn in crimson and wine red, giving it a
watercolour effect. But if the kahwa in his hands slips into a tumultuous storm that wipes the sailcloth grey, was it man who did it or was it divine justice that did not come into play?

Sitting in the university garden, in the serenity of the whistling waters of Dal, our hearts tuned to the flow striking the fixated stones; it was then that I had believed so much in beauty, it was then that I had believed so much in its imposing power that transforms any human being. Every second spent in Kashmir is etched to me like a memory, that if ever revisited, redefines each moment that has ever lived in me, in my mind’s eye.

We were happy. Mountains in summer, lawasa and noon chai, spinach curry dinner on red carpets. The intoxicating smell of afternoon rain with nadru (lotus root fritters) in newspaper wraps. All year round we waited for summer, because summer meant holidays and holidays were a month-long dip into the relieving
waters of a home far away, a fernweh. And because holidays were the hugs and kisses of khala as she spoiled and stuffed us until we turned into a burrito. And because holidays were not only days spent playing
in doll houses or snow-laden balconies, but by then holidays were like a dream that kept on returning to kiss greater life into our souls.

Dated: 12/6/2019
Walking bare feet on wet grass in Shalimar does not equate to the baghs in Delhi. How can nostalgia be so weak that it can’t cling to the last pieces of what is lost? It is because so much is lost. Nothing is the same.
Jhelum boils red in the loss of mothers, endless suffering, endless pain, the endless murder of life, widows, orphans, rape, politics, law and order. Oh, the border, the border! Shelling and pelting, take the youth to detention centers so that the ‘high sir’ can do the belting, the shooting electrocuting.

Nothing is the same. Life is cheap. The winter wind comes with its hollow screams, its quiet cries. But the whispers linger on, the blood dries out, covered under the snow. Don’t let yourself show. Out in the dark, at night. A son born here is a son died. Nothing is the same. Army bunkers and barbed wires surround the roads, mental agony surrounds the people and it is grief that they breathe in. I live in Delhi now, Lucknow feels unlike home. Mir left college after his father died of a heart attack. He sits at the shop now with his elder brother. That is how they earn a living. I went back there after 7 years. Sitting on the stairs at Hazrat-Bal, I see a gamut of pigeons flying. The people often feed them. Just like they feed the hope inside. The walls are scribbled with Azaadi, of what they want, but who are they? Are they some of them or all of them, and if they are who they are, who gives them the liberty to want what they want? Who gives them thought? They are nobodies. No blood and bone. No skin and soul. They are dust. They are ashes. They are long-lost dreams. They are the wind-blown chinar leaf you step on while you walk in and out of paradise(hell) in peace.

“Jis khaak ke zamir mein ho aatish-echinar
Mumkin nahien ke sard ho wok hake arajmand

Wo arajmand ab hogaya hai sard o iqbal
Ab ro raha wadi-e-kashmir phir se ek baar.”

Aayat Farooqui

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Growing up in a dysfunctional family is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Here’s an understanding of how such families impact the children.

Our families have the biggest and most crucial influence on our lives. Family is unarguably the most important aspect of one’s life and gives an individual his/her identity and a sense of belonging. The dynamics of one’s family can tell a lot about how a person will grow up to be in most cases. Thus, it holds the power to make or break you.

While a normal functioning family produces mentally healthy adults, a dysfunctional family can have some serious repercussions on the overall well being of a person. A family where conflicts, misbehavior, and neglect are common deals, it is said to be dysfunctional. It is widely believed that most children borrow parental and familial traits from their families and inculcate the same when they have families of their own. Therefore, it becomes significant to identify the dynamics of one’s family and the resultant impact on oneself.

A healthy family comprises members having each other’s back and a mutual feeling of love and respect. Children are well taken care of. Children from such families grow up to become adults having high self-esteem and find it easier to form friendly bonds with people around them. They are found to be more positive and hopeful in their perspective towards life.

But the aforementioned things, sadly, don’t stand true for dysfunctional families. A family turns dysfunctional due to a myriad of reasons like mental and physical abuse, absent parent, single parent, financial crunch or drug and alcohol addiction. These can have adverse impacts on the children.

A child grows up to find abuse and neglect as ‘normal’. They tend to have lower self-image and in many cases, be a part of unhealthy relationships. People pleasing, excessive guilt and hopelessness are some other traits commonly seen in those individuals coming from a dysfunctional family.

Family is a haven we lean back on in times of difficulties. But, what if it is the family from which we need to escape? Growing up in a dysfunctional family is harder than it appears. It crushes your sense of identity and can even result in anxiety and depression. They begin seeing the world with the same perspective with which they see their families. It is dull, defeating, disempowering and even scary, at times.

Peers of such individuals need to be more empathetic and help them see the world through a brand new lens. They need to push them to see their selves with empowering light and increase their sense of self-worth.

As difficult as it may seem, it’s not impossible to overcome the ill-effects of being a part of a dysfunctional family. The most important aspect involves identifying one’s behavioral problems and getting to its roots. The process of getting better will involve a lot of unlearning and learning.

Identifying the issue will help the individual not replicate the toxic behaviors of one’s family. Creative treatment of one’s frustration will help vent the negative. Efforts towards mending the ties in the family are necessary to protect the further generations from going through similar emotional turmoil.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family is troublesome but you can either choose to replicate or repair.

Feature Image Credits: Filmy Sasi

Shreya Agrawal

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Do you miss the cartoon legends which defined our childhood stories to the highest degree? Have a look at some favourites which continue to float in our minds and smiles!

In the world of Netflix, Hotstar and countless online streaming sites at our disposable for watching shows new and old; one wonders how the age of entertainment has evolved with us. Before we were intrigued by and binge-watched the likes of Game of Thrones and FRIENDS, there existed a land within the television which was presented to us for only a few hours in a day but managed to etch a mark of memories. The mere mention of these shows unfurls a trail of giggles and fond remembrances. With characters and stories which assuaged our hopeful hearts, here’s the journey of some of the cartoon blasts from a very nostalgic past!

Tom and Jerry

The incessant pursuit of the mouse, Jerry, by the tenacious cat, Tom, became a story ingrained in our hearts; to the extent that Tom and Jerry is the first show to grace our list. Often coupled with unsuccessful tricks and traps along with frying pans and mayhem in the house, the show defined an era of madness!

tom-and-jerry

Bob the Builder

karke dikhayenge!” The recent controversy which involved the visual overhaul of the team wasn’t received well, for the masses liked the animated-ness of Bob. The adventures of the builder (obviously) Bob, Wendy, and their equipment and vehicles where they went to fix anything and everything was the source of some co-operative joy!

bob-the-builder

Oswald

The titular character, Oswald the octopus, along with his dog Weenie live in the Big City to give us moralistic storylines and comforting vibes. Painted in colours, Oswald’s everyday tales with Henry the Penguin, Daisy the Flower, Madame Butterfly, and a host of characters lends the show an affinity towards kids!

oswald

Make Way for Noddy

The endearing stories of Noddy with his blue hat being lauded for special appearances, the show was based on Enid Blyton’s books originally published between 1949 and 1963. Living in the Toyland with Big Ears, Mr. Plod, Tessie Bear, Bumpy Dog, and others, Noddy with his energy and impulsiveness sets out to be the town’s taxi driver to give way to all shades of fun!

noddy

Strawberry Shortcake

The beautiful and delicious Strawberryland was the daily box of lessons and some very palatable shortcakes! With their names renditions of food, the tales of Strawberry Shortcake, Ginger Snap, and Huckleberry Pie and their explorations added to the aesthetics of our screen!

strawberry-shortcake

Dragontales

Raise your hands if the Dragon Tunes has occupied the realms of your mind! As Emmy and Max discovered the Dragon Land, they set out to face challenges with the dragons Ord, Cassie, Zak, Wheezie, and Quetzal, and have some magical fun on the way!

dragontales

The Flintstones

Portraying a time that made generations believe that the dinosaurs and humans existed together, the two family story in Bedrock is an all-time favourite. Fred and Wilma, along with Barney and Betty, was the everyday tale of work and family and their eventful days in between!

the-flintstones

The Adventures of Tenali Raman

Inspired by the Indian folklore, the Adventures of Tenali Raman was a confluence of Indian heritage, interesting tales, and foot-tapping music! The jester poet in the city of Vijaynagar, Tenali’s every day encounters with the King Krishnadevaraya to solve issues of all kind were appreciated for the fast pace and intriguing stories!

tenali-raman

Akbar and Birbal

Names synonymous with each other, and tales’ renditions of legends and greatness, the animated show provided a bundle of traditional folklore. The rich court of Akbar and his Navratna were portrayed with all grandiose, with Birbal emerging as the wit-master and the perfect person to complement the ruler!

akbar-and-birbal

Scooby-Doo

Talking of greatness, the cartoon with our favourite dog and its four friends perfectly fits the bill. Their supernatural mysteries and eccentric personalities amalgamated the two genres, and made it a Saturday morning treat! As we miss the dapper Fred, the gorgeous Daphne, the brainy Velma, and the indomitable friendship between Scooby and Shaggy, it makes us wonder: Scooby-doo, where are you?

scooby-doo

Feature Image: Popcornin

Image Credits: Wikipedia, ABC, YouTube, Wallpaper Abyss, www.mobygames.com, TV Tropes, The Hindu, Google Play

 

Saumya Kalia

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Mercatus, Marketing Club of Jesus and Mary College organised an inter-college event called Amusement Day. The event,which was based on the theme “Back to childhood,” witnessed participation from over 800 college students from across Delhi. The maximum participation was from Delhi College of Arts and Commerce.

The event consisted of games like Tug of war, Treasure Hunt, Lucky Seven, Dare to Play, Spin the wheel, Aim the ring and Hopscotch. A variety of food and drink stalls along with photo booth, hair braiding, chalking and styling stalls were the chief attraction of the day. The event was divided into two slots and went on for 6 hours. The other activity that gained attention was the lucky draw and the creative stall of the startup ‘Kkrimoda’ managed by Jesus and Mary College student Kritika Jain. The innovative game of doubling the money invited maximum participation in the event.

When asked about the best part of the event, Sakshi, a student from Delhi College of Arts and Commerce said, “The theme was the most catchy thing. It lured me to come and take part in this mini fest. Everything here, ranging from the decorations to the fun games, has actually filled me with a sense of nostalgia.” According to Harsh, a treasure hunt participant, “This is the third time I am visiting JMC for this game, and it never fails to meet my expectations. The arrangements are up to the mark and the atmosphere is extremely vibrant and welcoming.”

The event was also visited by the faculty members. According to the convener Dr Mani Nandhi,such ideas of encouraging cooperation among the society members with engaging activities should frequently be adopted.

 

Picture Credits : Preeti Sridhar from JMC

Lovleen Kaur

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