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Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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“Dear Ammachi,
Ente ammachi enikku ee prayam aya sthreekalodu valiya ishttamanu. kazhiyunna reethiyil avare sahayikkum.
Valla kuzhappavum undo ? avarude sareera soudariyam enne kamolsukanakkum. Thettundo?
I am waiting for ur reply.
Thanks & Regards,”

TRANSLATION:

“Dear Amma, I am very much attracted to mature (older) women, to the extent that I cannot control it, but still somehow do. Is there a problem? Their beautiful bodies attract me sexually. Is it wrong?”

Well well well… so this cunning little mongoose from Malabar wanted to check if Amma was actually MALAYALI!!!! He doubted the fact that I’d come all the way from the backwaters of Kerala to help the confused little macchis in this ocean you call DU! And so, he sends me a mail typed in Malayalam using English as his script, as you all can see. But Amma shan’t deprive other souls who are baffled due to similar issues of the answer, so Amma translated the query word to word.

Assuming your query is as genuine as the ivory Veerappan sold, I have taken the trouble of translating it to the language of our Lords; here is to you, you cocky little rooster from Ramamangalam village!

To the mind of a young man, a mature woman has several alluring qualities. The first being that the very thought of being sexually associated with one is a taboo, and hence the rush! The fact that an older woman is like the forbidden fruit or the coconut tree too wide to hug/ climb, sparks special attraction. One can also speculate that you my dear do not have much experience with women your age, and may feel comfortable around older ones.

The fact still remains; it is not a problem as much as it is a taboo, something that society won’t sanction. There might be a few unresolved Oedipal issues behind your desires though. You might want to open up, with someone about them MENTALLY that is!

Fundamentally, human beings seek pleasure: if you’ve seen “The Graduate”, you’ll know that older women dating younger men tends to be a short-term experience. It’s fun while it lasts, but most likely, ephemeral. So don’t be lured by an over ripe forbidden fruit, wait for the spring of your life dear!

And next time Amma does not want any of you Macchis to doubt her authenticity! Amma recently shifted to Delhi to guide your confused little macchis, don’t believe me, then go to Kerala and ask them. They are probably missing Amma’s charms and her steamy hot appams and crisp vadas, yes you know what I mean. Just so that you know the moon is not the only thing that causes Kerala’s seas to rise, put that blame on this mame boys!

Anyhow, anyone and everyone is welcome in Amma’s forum, even sceptics, hope to hear more from all you macchis, till then, stay out of trouble!

 

You could also mail Amma your queries to [email protected].

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Campus Central

Mid-semester Break – A Break? Really?

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Lying on a vividly-hued hammock in your backyard, on a breezy day (those not blessed with the expanse of a backyard and hence with a hammock can replace the imagery with a couch or what-please-you), poring over one of your favoured leisure reads, calling out for the mother whenever the glass of lemonade needed to be refilled…aah! THIS constitutes the paraphernalia of a perfect break, unlike the “break” the university had planned for us which, as I put, and most of my other fellow university slaves would agree to, was a blatant misnomer for one!

How would you exactly describe a break? Well, a period of time when there is complete detachment from anything paperback, hardcover, spiral-bound, containing the writings of a wasted someone (resemblance to “books” is purely intentional, yes). It does NOT entail being buried into a plethora of reading material, with eyes glued to the computer screen (for research purposes of course), counting the number of hours before we could finally shove that assignment away and take a breather!

Being an outstationer, a break is something I start looking forward to since the moment I set foot on the New Delhi Railway Station after coming back from one! This time I took more books and fewer clothes, owing to a string of tests after the college re-opens.

Also, the one thing that really upset hosteliers and day-scholars alike was the short span of the holidays. “Before the semester-system was put into practice, the break used to stretch for a minimum of ten days. These were over in a jiffy. Before I could raise my head from the ten thousand assignments that I had to complete, it was time to bid-adieu,” said an outraged Divya Mehrotra, a Pol. Science student of IP College, who also happens to be a hostelier.

The time of the month the break came about also did not go down too well with most students. “The break should have been clubbed with the Dushhehra holidays. This time of the year means more to us than just the festival. Now, I’ll have to miss classes to accommodate the festival,” quoted Nishita Banerjee, a student of History from LSR and a hurt Bengali.

So, the break which stands for a refreshing change from the mundane and routine life of attending classes, commuting, meeting deadlines, bunking classes (yes, that’s part of the routine, isn’t it?), didn’t really fulfill its promise. And, with the examination datesheet being declared JUST before the break began, it couldn’t get worse. Kudos to the VC!

 

Vatsala Gaur
[email protected]

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Events

Antaragni: Unleash The Fire Within- 7 Days To Go

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Antaragni- Antar + Agni(hindi)-The fire within. Antaragni, the annual intercollegiate cultural festival of IIT Kanpur, is a tribute to the fire that remains kindled in the hearts of people, the fire that drives them to melt boundaries and achieve the extraordinary. The fest started as “Culfest” in the 1960’s before being rechristened Antaragni in 1993. The generic name was to emphasize the fact that it was the first and only such event at that time. Antaragni’12, with the theme ‘Medieval Fantasy’ will be held from the 11th to the 14th of October and is scheduled to be opened by the multi-lingual sensation Raghu Dixit.

Antaragni is one eclectic mix of a lot of things- competitions, professional shows, talks, exhibitions, street shows, workshops and the list goes on ad infinitum. It becomes a classic case of having too many options and one wishes to be present at a lot of places simultaneously. Competitions form the backbone of this festival. Events catering to dramatics, dance, musicals, photography, English and Hindi literature and quizzes have seen extensive and intensive participation from colleges, especially those from Delhi. The situation is such that this year two of the events (Synchronicity- Rock competition and Quizzes) have dedicated Delhi rounds.

In order to cement its position as Northern India’s favourite festival, Antaragni’12 has initiated the ‘Dream On’ campaign. It is an ambitious idea which attempts to give the winners a shot at national fame and creative satisfaction of learning from the best in each field. The winners of different competitions in addition to monetary incentives will be provided with internships, mentorships and recording deals  with leading academies like Shimak Davar’s Institute of performing arts, Barry John Acting Studio, Delhi College of Arts, Delhi School of Photography etc. In fact, Ritambhara has been especially opened to individual participants with coverage in MAXIM and photo-shoots in Hollywood at stake.

To add spirit and flesh to this skeleton of competitions, there would be national and international artists (more than 10 in number) ranging from rock bands to Irish folk musicians to sand artists to Odishi dancers. There would be fun informal activities while Mridaksh will continue its search for Ms & Mr. Antaragni. If it’s the intellect that needs simulation, there would be a panel discussion with eminent people like Arun Maira and Ayaz Memon. To take care of the glamour aspect there would the likes of Sudhir Mishra, Rajiv Khandelwal and Abbas Tyrewala who’ll have special sessions with the students.

The festival seems to be shaping up well with a holistic cultural showcase and it’s only a matter of time before, as the motto says, the fire is unleashed.

Visit www.antaragni.in and https://www.facebook.com/antaragni.iitk for more information.

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Juxtapose

DramSoc v/s DanceSoc

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Juxtapose, DUbeat weekly wits

Juxtapose, DUbeat weekly wits

Graphic Credits: Gurman Bhatia

Dance Society or the Dramatics Society? Two of the most prominent and active societies of Delhi University colleges. Today Juxtapose gives you an opportunity to pick your favourite and reason it out with the opponents.

So hit the link and get started!

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Campus Central

Biometric Attendence for Teachers Quite a Possibility

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Last month, the court had issued a notice to DU authorities after a PIL was filed by the Indian Council of Legal Aid and Advice, seeking to introduce a biometric system to register the attendance of lecturers and other teaching staff of the university. The PIL said that the attendance system should be introduced to ensure that a teacher “adheres to the teaching hours and days prescribed by the UGC and the university rules”. As per the UGC norms, the workload of teachers should not be less than 40 hours a week for 180 teaching days, apart from being available for at least five hours daily in the college. The working hours actually put in by a lecturer in Delhi University daily are just about three and half hours per day currently.

The affidavit filed by the registrar said: “The University of Delhi is committed to adopt and implement measures which are favourable and beneficial to the university system as a whole, such as the biometric system of attendance for its teachers in order to ensure their presence in colleges and ensure the participation of all teachers in the teaching/learning process.” Emphasising on the perquisites of teachers the affidavit read, “The teachers after the implementation of sixth pay commission have lucrative pay packets and are expected to fully justify the trust and confidence reposed by the society on them by working tirelessly for the betterment of the taught so as to prepare them for facing the challenges of life with confidence and knowledge.” The plea also stated that it seemed that the university was not implementing the biometric system under pressure from teachers’ unions. The university had tried to introduce the system in 2009, but had to hastily withdraw the order after Delhi University Teacher’s Association (DUTA) went on strike in protest.

This time around however, Delhi University has assured the Delhi High Court that it would adopt and implement the biometric attendance system for teachers to ensure punctuality. Following the assurance, the court disposed of the plea saying, “On the assurance given by the university, the court hopes and expects that biometric system of attendance would be introduced expeditiously.” The teachers are not expected to stall the move, which is aimed at uplifting the standards of teaching facilities.

 

Sakshi Gupta
[email protected] 

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Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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Amma, my friends tell me that I must wait for the girlfriend to initiate anything, be it hand holding, kissing or sex. I am not so sure of it. Comments?

So yet again we have a macchhi caught in the relationship net and about to be stir fired by his friends. My dearest little bundle of confusion, why do you forget that you both can always talk, you don’t have gills in place out tongues to you?

The key is to be sure of the point when you are ready for, well, some action and then carefully gauge your partner’s willingness. But don’t just sit there and guess, make sure you ask her, or at least start off by holding hands. If you do want to initiate something make her feel comfortable, gain her trust and then proceed.

Once you both have made each other sufficiently comfortable, oh it is Amma’s guarantee that you will be able to experience it all, the sweetness of banana fritters to the crispy zing of banana chips.

 

 

You could mail Amma your queries on the ‘hush hush’ topic at [email protected].

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Juxtapose

MUN v/s Debating

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The perplexing chaos of an unmoderated caucus or the passionate arguments put forward by a charismatic speaker?

With the debating season just around the corner, speakers and adjudicators gear up for another session of heated discussions and controversial questions. Now, this age-old tradition is being challenged by the more dynamic portrayal of the United Nations, with students posing as representatives of various countries who put forward ideas on a much larger platform.

This week, Juxtapose would like you to raise a motion on this topic.

Scroll down and leave your arguments.  

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Campus Central

Chess Menace : No Relief In ECA Admissions

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In a decision ruling by High court, Delhi University was advised to lay down fresh physical standard criteria for students who take admission under the sports quota for indoor games like chess.

A division bench of Acting Chief Justice A.K. Sikri and Justice Rajiv Sahai Endlaw said:”No doubt it is the physical fitness which leads to mental fitness. However, it should be examined as to whether for a person playing games like chess the level of physical fitness mentioned in the rules is appropriate,”

The university was directed to reformulate physical standards for games like chess which it could implement from the next academic year.

The judges were of the opinion that the existing physical standard criteria was apt and justified for outdoor games and also indoor games like badminton and table tennis, in which physical activity was involved, but different standards of physical fitness may be required for games like chess and carrom.

Petitioner Chetna Karnani, a chess player who secured 72.5 percent in her Class 12 exams, had sought admission under the sports quota. She applied for B.A. (English) course in four colleges of the university under the sports quota for chess players. She failed in the fitness test.

The court declined to grant any relief to Karnani saying that “unless the Delhi University prescribes fresh standards for games like chess, we cannot grant any relief to her”.”Laying down all these standards is not the function of the courts, therefore, this court can only direct the University of Delhi to consider the matter in the light of our observation and after in-depth deliberations come out with the physical standards which are required for these games.

 

Sakshi Gupta
[email protected]

 

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Campus Central

Marks Fiasco at Sri Venkateswara College

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DU students once again, were on the losing end due to nonchalant teachers and unconcerned office staff.

The incident happened in Sri Venkateswara College, with the students of 3rd year English Hons. when teachers of two subjects- Literary Theory and English Literature 5 muddled up the internal marks. This lead to an overall reduction of two marks in each of these subjects out of the total of 25 marks for internals. The teachers who were supposed to give marks out of 4 sets (out of which an aggregate is taken) only gave marks for 3 sets and hence the reduction in the aggregate. The office staff did not bring this to the teachers’ notice and conveniently entered the wrong marks into the system, leaving the 4th column blank. All students of Literary Theory (which is an optional paper) suffered, while the teacher of English Literature 5 simply overlooked a sheet and one third of the class ended up getting the wrong aggregate.

“Students had noticed the glitches before the college had sent out the marks to the university. But office people were highly uncooperative, at times rudely talking to us and even chucking us out of the office.” Said Kriti Talwar, one of the many students who lost out on marks. The office staff only noticed the errors once the marks had been sent out to the university. Apparently the anomaly had occurred in other departments as well and nothing was done until it was too late, and marks had been forwarded to the University.

A committee was set up to look into the matter much later. “We were asked to fill a form and then come back and ask in a month’s time. Recently the Vice Principal informed me that the cases sent to the University had been sent back, and they’d refused to address these. Vice Principal asked me if I had any contacts in the University I said, no. He said, “Phir toh kuch nahi ho sakta. Find a contact and get it done.” Kriti said.

Additionally, some students involved in the various societies did not get marks for attendance. Students now have given up.

 

Anugrah Gopinath
[email protected] 

Picture credits: Sapna Mathur

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