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The Recipe for an Ideal Indian Media House

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In today’s kitchen, we bring together the right ingredients to prepare the perfect media house with top-notch journalism that will mesmerise all Indian audiences.

Media channels are a staple in all Indian households. They are a delightful combination of all flavours, spicy and sweet. For this delectable recipe, we shall be requiring four primary ingredients: bias, fake news, censorship, and sentimentalism. The following are the steps to follow:

1. Prepare a Nice Base of Bias First

Heat your pan for two minutes and add two tablespoons of bias. Remember, this is the most important ingredient in our recipe. It gives the ultimate flavour to the stories that our Indian media house will churn out! After a minute, you will be able to smell party leanings, and your media concoction will never go against the ruling government henceforth.

2. Add Fake News

Now comes the time for real culinary genius. Add nearly 4 tablespoons of fake news because this is the ingredient that attracts everyone. It gives an instant, satisfactory flavour that tempts all across the nation, especially your parents and annoying relatives. From tomatoes causing COVID-19 to Sushant Singh Rajput’s last fake tweets, this magic ingredient is proven to take our dish to the top of TRP ratings! Also, it is advisable to add some banger music as well as ‘EXCLUSIVE’ flashing across, written in bold red, to make sure our favourite ingredient remains the most highlighted.

3. Bring out the Flavours with Home-Grown Censorship

Add two cups of censorship, popularly known as ‘gatekeeping’ in the market. Censorship ensures that our Indian media house provides the right mix of flavourful stories to the audience. Added to covering up farmer protests with celebrity gossip and communal disharmony, renaming the country will add five stars to our dish. While our dish is simmering, slice up some stories in favour of the ruling government. This will catch the hearts of all.

4. Finish off with Sensationalism

Put your flames on high, because our last ingredient is equally fiery! Add nearly 4 cups of sensationalism to the recipe. From running after celebrity cars to impersonating tornadoes, sensationalism is what creates the appetite for Indian media houses. Stir the entire mixture for around two minutes and let it simmer.

5. Garnish (Optional)

When all the ingredients have come together and it gives off a clear flavour of voicing only for the ruling government and not the ruled, it is ready to be served. Serve with a side of one-sided 9 p.m. shouting matches (debates), complete negligence of minority rights in the country, and ironic slogans of ‘Truth Matters.’

And here’s your recipe for the ideal Indian media house! Enjoy the sizzling disinformation and propaganda served right at your doorstep!

Read also: A Death in the Gunj: The Silencing of Journalism

Featured Image Credits: The Phonetic House by Medium

Priyanka Mukherjee
[email protected]

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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