Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!
All was well on Friday at a café in Saket where the unofficial freshers’ party of a popular college was on, before the VC of Delhi University decided to gatecrash it; whether it became better or worse is up for speculation.
“I visited the college and thought I’d take everyone by surprise, but I was surprised to find the college completely uninhabited. I asked some teachers, “Where’s the protest tonight?” They told me everyone was at a freshers’ party. It sounded like a pleasant kind of protest, so I decided to go there,” the VC said.
The students in the café panicked and hid their hookahs and beer bottles in a hurry. Some coal from the hookahs fell on a few people’s feet, creating a more panicky situation. The VC took a while to understand the scheme of things there, but it wasn’t long before he asked the DJ to play 4 Bottle Vodka (some argue that they heard him sob and sing “4 Saal Ka Course Tha”) and grooved to the beats.
Reportedly, he even shooed away excise and police officers lurking around the café in anticipation of a share in the organisers’ profit, to the delight of everyone.
“These students who organise fresher’s parties make more profit than their total course fees. If someone had just told the students who could not have endured the cost of studying for an additional year that all they needed to do was organise a freshers’ party, perhaps my FYUP would have taken off!” said a disgruntled VC.
He also went on to suggest that internal assessment marks be given to the winners of titles like ‘Ms.Fresher’ & ‘Mr. Fresher’.
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