Q: Dear Amma, I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 3 months now. My girlfriend is lovely, intelligent, and I love her sense of humour. But the problem is, I’m just not attracted to her in a, you know… Sexual way. She has often tried to lean in for a kiss but I can’t help but turn my face and pretend to not have noticed. She’s a great person, I don’t want to let go of her but I don’t know if I can ever take it to the next level. What should I do?
A: You are indeed too deep into the backwaters, dear Machhi. Amma has seen many young ones sacrifice a mental connection for a physical one, but you’re swimming right against the Periyar!
People may tell you that physical attraction doesn’t matter, but don’t be misguided! Having a healthy sexual connection is as important for a relationship to flourish in its truest form as a meeting of the minds. Do not get discouraged just because your dosa isn’t crispy yet, sometimes the batter needs to be rested for best results. Talk to your lovely maiden, tell her the truth. This gives you two machhis a wonderful opportunity to try different settings for the most delicious meal! Try role play, maybe that’ll get the chutney grinding. Conversely, try the path of absolute abstinence to heat your pan.
Amma advises you to try hard, but not too hard. Matters like these cannot and should not be forced. If even after several honest attempts you can’t bring yourself to make harmonious music together, let the little machhi go. Spare both yourselves the heartbreak that Amma has so often heard of, but never borne!
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