Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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Q. We have been friends for two years. I like her very much and she has also been giving me the same signs of late. So how can I propose to her? Please give me some suggestions.

A. Oho, this is an age old problem. Many people want to know how to propose to their beloved. There are many ways I say, but it is completely dependent on the likes and dislikes of the girl you love. Since you know this lucky girl for two years now, you should be aware of them, or something she always wanted to do in some place (Amma means normal daily things, dirty boy). These things, when they happen, are very special and will be a nice way to confess your love for her. It will be a perfect aww moment. Get her chocolates (also a good aphrodisiac), a teddy bear, a card, or anything she likes. But if she doesn’t like it mushy like my coconut chutney, then don’t do it. But ensure that you do something that she likes. With the rains coming in, Delhi will become as romantic as the backwaters of my Kerala and that will surely win her heart.

Q. I am in a relationship and a friend of mine asked me which base I am in. I didn’t know what the bases are and I said one. He started laughing at me saying that after being in a relationship for 8 months I am a loser to be in base 1. I don’t even know what it is. Please tell.
A. Aiyo, this base-vase thing is a new business only. In my times, we had only one thing, and made babies out of it. Anyway for your benefit I shall explain it to you. Every relationship has stages (actually it is reached by people who are not in a relationship also, so lets call it stages of intimacy) which is characterised by a number from 1 to 4. Base 1 is simple kiss, base 2 is tops off, base 3 is pants off, and base 4 is appreciating the human body in its original beauty. Now I would assume you know what I mean. As far as your friend is concerned, tell him to mind his own business, or ask him where he has reached and state a number higher.

Providing guidance to the students of DU since 2008 on matters of sex, dating and intimacy, Amma is back again this week with her dose of advice. Want to ask Amma a query? Mail it to [email protected].

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