Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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Q: You know I don’t mean to brag or anything. So please trust me when I say that I’ve always been asked out. I’ve always had to answer and have never popped the question myself. A few days back, However, I had this “big Bollywood” moment when a girl with the most gorgeous hair and the fairest skin walked into my class and caught me with my jaw dropped. I’m not a loser if that’s the picture being painted. But I really want to ask her out and give it a shot. I know you feel like you’re answering a 13 year old, but I need to know how to get I started? I want to give it a shot and I need help. Also, I could be a 13 year old, if it helps.

A: Eem-press-eeve. I see you are trying to be funny. Trying to tell me that you’re not that bad after all haan. So I’d say use it on the girl and not me! Many people find this the really difficult bit. But you’ve got to remember this one thing-‘if you don’t ask, you’ll never know!’. Everyone feels that rejection might come their way, a big “NO!” might be flung at their face. But there is a possibility of a “yes” too, isn’t it? A little optimism would help, won’t it? Then again, you won’t know until you ask.

I always feel that asking some out is a way to let the other person know that you’re interested. I’ve seen so many people who see their current boyfriends as “friends” earlier and then suddenly develop massive amounts of “that” feeling when asked out. So a “no”, eventually undergoes transformation and gets replaced by a “yes”!

I’m afraid that the practical side of asking someone out doesn’t have a recipe. It differs in every situation. You’re not a loser now but you’ll be if you don’t give it a shot. Reason enough? Now go, dedicate a joke to her!

Q: I started having sex because I though “everyone was doing it”. I didn’t even ask myself whether I was ready for it. I thought that the situation involved two people and those two were happy in it. Now when I think about it, I feel like a disrespected my body. I engaged in casual sex with a lot of confidence, but I’m not very proud of it now. I really feel like the fool to have blindfolded myself and not seen the consequences. So, what’s so attractive about casual sex? I’m repenting it now, but why did it feel good then?

A: You’re asking me this question only because you want me to re-assure you that the fact that you did do it then, wasn’t entirely your fault. I can sense it. And I will tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Whatever you think, it is a fact that casual sex is very popular and for almost everyone, it’s serving a purpose! We’ve all been brought up to see sex outside a long-term serious relationship as wrong. So, we do tend to develop this feeling that casual sex is more exciting or is an act of rebellion that one may find appealing. As a result there is a great degree of mystery and unfamiliarity involved and that further adds to the appeal. Also, both parties are aware that the sex is not going to lead to a relationship. So the act is relaxed .     It can be a bit of enjoyment, so there’s no denying that it’s very attractive and lures half the population of this world. Yes, you were being stupid. But that could just be justified as a part of growing up. So the regret must be nullified!


Providing guidance to the students of DU since 2008 on matters of sex, dating and intimacy, Amma is back again this week with her dose of advice. Want to ask Amma a query? Mail it to [email protected].

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