Life When You are in an On-Campus Relationship

A great man once coined the term ‘on-campus relationship’ to describe sleazy couples, which reside within the capacious four walls of North Campus, University of Delhi, occasionally seen coquettishly enveloping hands at Sudama Tea Point or attending a certain act of worship of a certain tree on that certain occasion mostly dreaded by single people. From having Parathas at Patel Chest to being evasive when you run into each other post a painful breakup, here is a piece of research that people in on-campus relationships would relate to:

1. You have to be careful who you look at: In North Campus, if you think you’d get away with casually flirting with a guy you met while buying Surf Excel at the neighborhood general store, you’re wrong. Because North campus is like a well-knit community of people, chances are that friends of friends of friends of friends would also know that you’re dating a certain someone. For all you know, the boy you were casually philandering with, might be the same person your boyfriend’s roommate’s classmate practices dance with. Conversely, people would be more cautious of making romantic advances on you because they’d know you are dating so-and-so.

2. Frequenting the VC lawns: The Viceregal Lodge, now called ‘VC’s office’, came into existence in 1902 was handed over to the University in 1933. 0.67 seconds post that, the first couple entered the VC lawns that surround the office. These exaggerations apart, the VC lawns, which are known for its ambrosial greenery and prepossessing foliage, are a hit amongst nature-“lovers” and poets alike.

3. Cups of Chai at Sudama: In a parallel universe, if tea stall owners were to be Pop Singers, Sudama Ji would be Lady Gaga. If Sudama Tea Joint earns ‘x’ amount of money from regular ‘single’ students, it earns ‘x²’ from couples who spend lazy evenings sipping cups of chai at the joint. Because on practical terms, on a student budget, spending INR 10 under the beauteous foliage at Sudama’s seems more appealing than spending INR 1000 at Mc. Donald’s.

4. Going to fests together: In a hypothetical situation, if the first college fest of University of Delhi was inaugurated at 10:30 hours on the fated date of 23rd February 1701, we can assume that the first couple held hands in that fest at 10:31 hours on 23rd February in the same century.

5. Avoiding running into each other post break-up: Whether you go out to buy toothpaste in Vijaynagar or to buy Maggi in Kamla Nagar, there would be a constant nagging at the back of your head that screams, “Get out of those sweats! Dress well! You don’t want him to know that you’re not dealing well with the breakup!”. Moreover, things get weird when you see the ex-beau with a new boy/girl. And then things get weirder when you stalk that new person on Instagram and before you realise it, you’re scrolling through her/his aunt’s best friend’s baby-sitter’s graduation pictures.

6. Overlapping friends’ circles: Taylor Swift in her song “We’re never getting back together” had sung, “..you go talk to your friends, talk to my friends.. but we are never ever ever getting back together”. She isn’t called the Queen for nothing, for she could accurately sum up what happens when an ‘on-campus’ couple breaks up. When you’re in such a relationship, you tend to spend so much time with the significant other’s friends that you end up becoming friends, your respective friends end-up dating, and your friend’s circles end up becoming a confusing web of common acquaintances. As a result, when you break-up, the equations in the friend’s circle gets disrupted and WhatsApp groups are formed titled “Sheetal broke up with Sanjay, ab kya kare (What to do now that Sheetal and Sanjay broke up?).


Feature Image Credits: Gewusstwie Lerntherapie

Vaibhavi Sharma Pathak

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