Hello Amma. My sex life is actually very good. The only problem is that my girlfriend watches a lot of porn and expects us to perform as well as they do in the videos. She doesn’t understand that I am not a professional as they are and she ends up being disappointed. How do I make her understand?
Aiyyo! Amma doesn’t understand how you little ones are so unable to differentiate between fact and fiction. The Kathakali that those painted (and may I add dented?) men do on stage is different from the thumkas people do on the streets. Tell her that those virile men with their extra-long-butter-paper-dosas getting it on with those macchis with their perfectly shaped idlis are paid to be good at what they do. And even they take breaks in between. Back in the old days when your Amma’s jackfruit-shaped hips were as flexible as her taste in idlis and dosas, she was invited to work in those videos which were such rages back in her old village, and so she knows. What she learnt was that not everyone is a Silk Smitha and even she was in awe of Amma’s moves.
Watch porn to get ideas or to get as fluffy as a well made vada and to get in the mood. But to compare to those gods and goddesses is to be forever disappointed. Unless your paramour is ready to take super-speciality classes with you from Amma (those can get interesting), she will always be one step less perfect from those in the videos. Get inspired by what they do, learn a few tricks from them. But as my mentor Rambha Kutty used to say, never compare the rasam you are sipping on right now with anything else! And Amma says that applies to what you see in porn too!
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