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Sex Amma

Sex Amma

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Hello Sex Amma,
Me and my GF have been in a relationship for a year. In the last one year we almost lived like a live-in couple at her place and we used to have sex very often, almost daily and sometimes, twice a day. But now we live apart due to studies, and I miss everything so badly. I cannot control ‘things’. Also we just had sex thrice after we were apart. Please suggest something..

My dear lost little lobster of the Southern seas! You two have been very naughty fishes, frying in coconut oil! You lucky lad and lady! Amma went to the beach when people asked her to get a room. You’ve had one for a year. But, the wind and the waves of joy. Ah! Anyway, high-five for the awesome ex-sex life!

My lovely lobster, nothing is permanent, is it?  Study, and study hard so that you two can end up together! But, Amma understands, so I’d suggest you to throw away your pen every once in a while and use your hand for other activities, eh? The Americans have made sure that nobody goes sex-less when alone. Tune into their ‘artsy’ movies and let things fall in their place (do clean up afterwards!!). Graham Bell might not have thought of it, but his invention can work wonders for your deprived, er, soul. Let her oohs and aahs over the phone send you into a frenzy! And if you can’t talk over the phone, geniuses of the world have created texting, and other geniuses who have gone the extra mile have created sexting. Try it, my boy!

I’ll pray that you somehow get your hands on the Anywhere Door from Doraemon. How easy it’d be! *sigh* Besides, you’re a male macchi, visuals can turn you on. Think about your poor female macchi who needs to get touchy-feely for her dose. So, ride high and solo for a while on crashing waves and breaking thunder! Do let Amma know how it’s working for you. Cheers!

 

Have a query? But don’t know who to ask? Mail  your queries to Sex Amma at [email protected].

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Arts & Culture

Satisfy Your Savoury Tooth with Delights from Mithaas and Chowringhee

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Situated amidst the environs of a predominantly women oriented atmosphere, right opposite Kamala Nehru and Gargi Colleges are the much sought after food joints of Mithaas and Chowringhee and here is an assimilation of how the plethora of delights that they offer on their menu fare.

Mithaas is the perfect example of how size doesn’t matter. With a confined seating and fairly gloomy lighting, this place witnesses customers ranging from an obvious student from either of the colleges, to families living in the neighbourhood and in the latter half of the day, even those who take cricket coaching at Gargi College. Mithaas has steadily risen to stardom with its flavoursome and unmatched chole bhatture along with grilled vegetable sandwiches, a plate of wholesome samosas and a glass of milkshake which also feature on the list of favourites. Many of those around will swear by indulging in the desi Chinese that this place recreates all the time and also its savoury chaat and gol gappa stall outside the shop. Mithaas certainly fares well in the domains of time for serving, quantity, taste and

affordability but what it lacks is a bit of a quirky touch in terms of infrastructure, space and tidiness, considering that its customer base is widely dominated by students.

 

With the opening of the well-established and much admired joint of South campus named Chowringhee right across the two colleges, students are steadily pouring in to enjoy the unsurpassed and the absolute forte of this joint – Kathi rolls.  With various filling options like mutton, paneer, egg and potatoes what endears most customers are the chicken rolls. “It is an absolute bliss for students with a jam packed time table to quickly grab a tasty bite at Chowringhee”, says a Kamala Nehru student munching on, at their counter. You could easily satiate a grumbling tummy with their absolutely scrumptious food without giving a second thought to the cost. Kudos to them, for what they are best at!

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Campus Central

Talk on Travel Writing by William Dalrymple at LSR

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The English Department of Lady Shri Ram College for Women organised a talk by the much-acclaimed author, William Dalrymple, on 27th September. The excitement was palpable in the room overflowing with students as they eagerly awaited the arrival of the author for a talk on Travel writing. Others stood at a Penguin Publishers stall outside, buying his books in the hope of getting a signed copy from him.

William Dalrymple was greeted with hearty and enthusiastic applause as soon as he stepped into the room, slightly flustered and out of breath. The talk proceeded smoothly as everyone listened in rapt attention to his elaboration on the significance of Travel Writing and its relevance in today’s time. This was followed by the author reading a couple of excerpts from his books such as City of Djinns, based on Delhi and his most recent novel Nine Lives, a book about nine individuals on their path towards spirituality and salvation. He also read out a couple of paragraphs from his current favourite Travel book titled The Wild Places, by Robert Macfarlane.

With a great sense of humour coupled with an equally wonderful portrayal of sensitivity, Dalrymple managed to capture the imagination of every person sitting in the room. “Thank you Sir, we felt like we were travelling with you and experiencing your adventures first hand as you narrated them to us,” was one such heartfelt comment from the audience. A busy round of question and answer followed the talk, where students and staff members quizzed him on varied topics such as his inspirations, the language barrier, stereotypes present in various cultures, until there was absolutely no time left to answer more queries. The two hours ended with hoards of students rushing towards his table as he signed personal copies of his books. The talk succeeded in leaving its audience with a sense of wanderlust after William Dalrymple’s vivid descriptions and poetic narration.

Image source: The Hindu

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Arts & Culture

Five Most Horrific Horror Movies

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With Raaz 3 now running in cinemas for some time, I thought long and hard as to why Bollywood failed so miserably at making good horror movies. I didn’t find a satisfactory answer and decided instead to look back upon the most horrific horror movies made in India:

5. Kaal: Soham Shah sat behind the camera for this disaster. Ajay Devgn, no that’s not a typo, seems to have tried out every possible genre. This, his first foray into horror movies was also his last. That guy sure has beans. Vivek Oberoi was the ghost in this one. One hopes he was as wise as Ajay and stopped doing movies altogether. Also it was widely believed that the best part of the movie was the Shah Rukh item song at the beginning. Go figure.

 

4. Hawa: If you ever happen to meet Tabu, kindly inquire of her the desperate nature of circumstances that compelled her into signing on for this absolute horror of a movie. Had the director kidnapped her mother? Did he have damning evidence against her? Did he threaten her to make her watch the movie once it was completed?

3. Dhuund the Fog: Yes, this is a movie. I checked and going by the reaction of the handful of people who saw this, it might well be the worst movie made by man, dogs or donkeys ever. The only reason why this is not higher up on this list is because it wasn’t advertised all that much and thus did not compel mankind to as much misery as the following movies did.

 

2. Agyaat: Ram Gopal Verma is quite an enigmatic filmmaker. He has obvious talent. Why he chooses to make movies such as this incomprehensible. We feel cheated. RGV is not supposed to be dominating lists such as this and yet he does. Not only has he headed the top two worst horror movies of all time but with Aag on his CV, he also has the worst movie ever to his name. Way to go, dumbass.

 

1. Phoonk 2: We all know the story with this one. RGV announced that whoever watched this movie alone in the theatre would get 5 Lakh rupees from him. Nice way to ensure audience, eh? Well someone did manage to watch it alone and RGV had to part with the said sum, bringing the total revenue from the project to a grand total of 5 rupees. At least someone gained from the investment.

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Arts & Culture

McDonalds’ McEgg: Egging us on (or not)

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Recently, McDonalds introduced a new burger called McEgg. It is priced at Rs. 25 and therefore affordable by all. I was very excited to try this burger because of the appetizing picture and as I absolutely love egg.

Looking at the picture, you would expect soft bread, eggy interior with onions and oozing mayonnaise. Well it isn’t. The burger is extremely dry and I just couldn’t taste the onions. The burger seriously lacks seasoning and thus, is bland on the palette. This blandness kills the taste of the egg as well. There is a little blob of mayonnaise right in the centre and that’s it. So apart from one bite, you won’t taste any mayonnaise at all, just bread and tasteless egg. The burger is so dry because of the lack of mayonnaise that it sticks to the walls of your mouth. McEgg lacks texture and desperately needed some crunch. That crunch was supposed to come from the onions but even those are sparsely found.

McEgg can be made edible only by ordering it with cheese and extra mayonnaise. But then what it costs is Rs 65. To be honest, I’d rather eat the egg and buns from the roadside thelawalas! The taste is far better and comes at more or less the same price.

McEgg for me is a sad attempt at a burger and lacks everything it should have had. I wouldn’t eat it again unless someone paid me to do so.

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Campus Central

English Department of DU Ranked Among World's Best

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The English department of DU has recently been ranked among the top 100 places to study english, by the QS World University Rankings. Ranked in the 51-100 group in QS’s annual survey, DU happens to be in the same league as Durham University, Dartmouth University, Pennsylvania State University, University of Sussex and the like, having beaten the likes of Nottingham and Purdue.

The English departments of three other Indian Universities, namely JNU, University of Calcutta and University of Hyderabad, also made the list, but, unlike DU, they were ranked in the 151-200 rank group. Other institutions of higher education seem to have failed to make a mark and were missing from the top 200 in overall university rankings. the QS World University Rankings is one of the three most influential and widely recognized international university rankings, apart from the Times Higher Education World University Rankings and the Academic Ranking of World Universities.

MA students are thrilled and have been glowing with pride over the news. “It is definitely a high for us students, also considering that no other Indian institute features that high in the list. Our department professors truly deserve the credit for this, specially for their research inputs.” says Kritika Mathur, a student pursuing her masters in english at DU.   Graphic credits: Sahil Jain]]>

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Campus Central

English Department of DU Ranked Among World’s Best

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The English department of DU has recently been ranked among the top 100 places to study english, by the QS World University Rankings. Ranked in the 51-100 group in QS’s annual survey, DU happens to be in the same league as Durham University, Dartmouth University, Pennsylvania State University, University of Sussex and the like, having beaten the likes of Nottingham and Purdue.

The English departments of three other Indian Universities, namely JNU, University of Calcutta and University of Hyderabad, also made the list, but, unlike DU, they were ranked in the 151-200 rank group. Other institutions of higher education seem to have failed to make a mark and were missing from the top 200 in overall university rankings. the QS World University Rankings is one of the three most influential and widely recognized international university rankings, apart from the Times Higher Education World University Rankings and the Academic Ranking of World Universities.

MA students are thrilled and have been glowing with pride over the news. “It is definitely a high for us students, also considering that no other Indian institute features that high in the list. Our department professors truly deserve the credit for this, specially for their research inputs.” says Kritika Mathur, a student pursuing her masters in english at DU.

 

Graphic credits: Sahil Jain

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Bazinga

Bazinga

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In a shocking turn of events that has left the people as well as the multitude of Gods that they pray to baffled, Apple Inc., in a move to save face, has decided to give away free iPhone 5s to all Samsung employees. Apple employees had protested against the management for having put them through the embarrassment of walking down the street with people pointing and laughing at them after multiple trolls surfaced on the internet following the patent drama.

“It was getting difficult for us to be out in the open. We were the town’s newest laughing stock”, says Steve (name changed), an Apple employee. In order to allay employee-anxiety, the management decided on this drastic measure in the hope that it’ll keep the trolls at bay.

However, there is inside information that Apple is, in fact, giving away iPhone 4 and not 5. “They’re hoping no one would notice given that it has worked so far”, said the source.

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Campus Central

Ready- Steady- Go Against Violence: The Annual Cross Country Run of LSR

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The National Sports Organization (NSO) of LSR organized its Annual Cross Country run on September 21, 2012 under the theme, ‘Run for solidarity with the people of North East’, in light of the recent violence in Assam between the Boro community and the Muslim community. The registration for the run began at 5.30 am, with hundreds of girls huddling around the Union members and other team members for attendance. One could feel the enthusiasm in the air, with excited girls all around looking forward to running for a cause. “The Cross Country run is a special event for it is one of the very few occasions when the entire LSR community comes together, and participates for a cause”, stated Ms. Meenakshi Pahuja, Head of the Department of Physical Education of LSR. The sponsor for the event was UniStyle Image, an eminent clothing brand that has been associated with the LSR NSO for almost ten years. All the participants were given t- shirts from USI before the run, and one could see enthusiastic participants in colourful t- shirts, waiting for the event to flag off.

 

The event began with a speech by the guest of honour, Ms. Shweta Choudhary, who is an international level shooter, and won a silver medal at the Doha Asian Games, 2006. She is also an ex- alumnus of LSR, belonging to the 2007 batch of B.A program. Accompanying her was Mr. Abhijit Bhattacharya, captain of the Indian volleyball team, who is also a very ardent promoter of sports in his home state, Assam. Both of them urged the students to work hard towards their goals to achieve success, and have an unfailing determination. After their speech, Suparna Sinha, a third year Sociology student of LSR, addressed the crowd, and spoke to them about the situation in Assam. Suparna, who originally hails from Assam decreed the massacre of innocent people in Assam as not a political issue, but a breach of solidarity. “We should help overcome this imbalance. This is a cause I really feel about, and it is something that the youth should tackle with in order to bridge the gap between different communities”, stated Suparna, whose words set the crowd thinking about the true cause of their desire to run in a marathon, thousands of kilometres away from North East India, yet bound by sentiment and understanding.

The run was flagged off by the Vice Principal of LSR, Dr. Priti Dhawan. Within less than ten minutes of the run being flagged off, the first winner, Aanchal Bohra came to the finishing point effortlessly and her win wasn’t a surprise for anybody for Aanchal is a national level runner, a silver medallist at the CBSE championships, and the pride of the Athletics team of LSR. An Economics student, Aanchal described her win as a step towards her goal of running for India at the international level in the future. “I wish to represent LSR in the Commonwealth Games in the future, and I dream of competing in the Olympics too someday,” stated the enthusiastic second year student. The run was highly successful and enjoyable for all the

students, and one could see the really satisfied students at the refreshment counter. The run went off without any glitches, all thanks to a brilliant Union, comprising of Pratibha the President, Shivangi, the Vice President, Saumya, the Secretary, and Somya the treasurer. They were assisted by a huge volunteer team that provided water and first aid to all the participants, diligently waiting at different locations to help.

‘It is our privilege to be associated with the LSR NSO, and we wish to see the Cross country run bigger and better in the future,” said Mr. Ashwinder, part of the sponsorship team of USI. The Cross country run ended on a bright note, with all participants and volunteers receiving refreshments, and enthusiastically clicking photographs. It is hoped that the LSR NSO continues conducting such events which bind the LSR community together, and create such a vibrant atmosphere.

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