Growing up in a dysfunctional family is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Here’s an understanding of how such families impact the children.

Our families have the biggest and most crucial influence on our lives. Family is unarguably the most important aspect of one’s life and gives an individual his/her identity and a sense of belonging. The dynamics of one’s family can tell a lot about how a person will grow up to be in most cases. Thus, it holds the power to make or break you.

While a normal functioning family produces mentally healthy adults, a dysfunctional family can have some serious repercussions on the overall well being of a person. A family where conflicts, misbehavior, and neglect are common deals, it is said to be dysfunctional. It is widely believed that most children borrow parental and familial traits from their families and inculcate the same when they have families of their own. Therefore, it becomes significant to identify the dynamics of one’s family and the resultant impact on oneself.

A healthy family comprises members having each other’s back and a mutual feeling of love and respect. Children are well taken care of. Children from such families grow up to become adults having high self-esteem and find it easier to form friendly bonds with people around them. They are found to be more positive and hopeful in their perspective towards life.

But the aforementioned things, sadly, don’t stand true for dysfunctional families. A family turns dysfunctional due to a myriad of reasons like mental and physical abuse, absent parent, single parent, financial crunch or drug and alcohol addiction. These can have adverse impacts on the children.

A child grows up to find abuse and neglect as ‘normal’. They tend to have lower self-image and in many cases, be a part of unhealthy relationships. People pleasing, excessive guilt and hopelessness are some other traits commonly seen in those individuals coming from a dysfunctional family.

Family is a haven we lean back on in times of difficulties. But, what if it is the family from which we need to escape? Growing up in a dysfunctional family is harder than it appears. It crushes your sense of identity and can even result in anxiety and depression. They begin seeing the world with the same perspective with which they see their families. It is dull, defeating, disempowering and even scary, at times.

Peers of such individuals need to be more empathetic and help them see the world through a brand new lens. They need to push them to see their selves with empowering light and increase their sense of self-worth.

As difficult as it may seem, it’s not impossible to overcome the ill-effects of being a part of a dysfunctional family. The most important aspect involves identifying one’s behavioral problems and getting to its roots. The process of getting better will involve a lot of unlearning and learning.

Identifying the issue will help the individual not replicate the toxic behaviors of one’s family. Creative treatment of one’s frustration will help vent the negative. Efforts towards mending the ties in the family are necessary to protect the further generations from going through similar emotional turmoil.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family is troublesome but you can either choose to replicate or repair.

Feature Image Credits: Filmy Sasi

Shreya Agrawal

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With this semester, the first-year of college comes to an end for many students. Let’s take a look at the learnings of a first-year student.

  • Exposure and Experience

The first year of college is an eye-opener to the real world, it gives you a view of adulthood and brings along a sense of independence. It doesn’t come easy to many, makes life difficult for a few, and lonely for others. But what it does give you is exposure and experience to cure that gaping hole of leaving your home, friends, school, and your city behind. An outstation student of the University said “Yeh Delhi ne toh meri Lucknow ki saari Nawabi hi nikal di, Kahan main vaha maze mein ghoomti thi, aur yahan auto vaalon se dus-dus rupaye ke liye ladti hoon (Delhi has taken away all the Lucknow royalty from me, I used to a carefree child. Here, in Delhi, I have to fight with the auto-rickshaw drivers for INR 10)” She agrees that college life has transformed her to become a better version of herself. She is able manage her finances well.

  • Friends and Family

Himanika Agarwal from Gargi College commented, “Everybody used to tell me that you never find real friends in college, even I used to believe that. But Glass Eye, the Film Making Society of Gargi College has given me some of the best friends I have ever had, who have now become my family.” In the first-year itself, you find your close group of friends who become your family and confidants, be it your classmates or the members of your college society, college helps you to find people who you remember all throughout.

  • Fests and Euphoria

The cultural fests organised by the University of Delhi (DU) colleges is another enlightening experience for the students. Fresh out of taking the first semester examinations, students attend fests with their ‘college gang’ looking up wide eyed at the glittering lights of concerts and competitions, breathing in the chaos, and adapting to the crowds.

My first-year, personally, gave me The Local Train, another staple name associated with the DU fests. This musical band and their brand of music, their lyrics, and the performances are worth it. Another student added, “I can easily say that my checklist for a happening college life ticked off with after attending Vishal-Shekhar’s concert at Mecca, the cultural fest of Hindu College.”

  • The ability to study overnight

College is not only fun and games, academics also play an important role. This involves projects, class presentations, reviews, internals, and exams. These conclusively teach every student to study or make a presentation a night before the submission. This might be unhealthy, but it is a fact.

  • A new perspective

Above all, for me, the first-year of college worked as a stepping stone in the process of unlearning patriarchal norms and misogynistic conditioning, we as naïve little kids were subjected to, throughout our childhood. Classroom discussions with strong opinionated teachers, debates with your peers and seniors, revolutionary texts and readings, interactions about the rights of the LGBTQ community, these have changed my perspective for the better. Looking back, I can now remember instances in the past which were problematic, but I didn’t realise earlier. These realisations are my achievements of gaining new and better ideologies and of becoming a more ‘woke’ individual.

Feature Image Credits: DU Beat


Sakshi Arora

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Seniors, Thank you for being a family away from home.

College gives you many experiences: your first crush, boyfriend or girlfriend, multi-tasking, monetary-crises, exposure to the real world and above all, a family of your own. In this family, first-year students generally play the role of lost little kids who need guidance, second-year students are slightly older, wiser selves who fear becoming seniors and the third-year students are truly your guides in the journey. They act like your parents and in this cute little niche, you unravel to become the best version of yourself.

Seniors play a severely essential role in this development; they scold you and care for you simultaneously, to a point where their embraces become your safe space to spiral out of control and stress out, and their hugs of appreciation become the best reward of your hard work. Riddhi, a student of B.A (History) Hons from Gargi College stated that for her, her seniors became her family when she opened up to them. She said, “In the first meeting, they made us talk about ourselves, our views, our families, our lives. Now, it has come to a point where I can share absolutely anything with them, just the way I would do with my family back home.”

One of the essential reasons first-year students thrive for love from their seniors is that most of the leave the comfort of their houses and come to a new place to embark on a new journey. The support of someone older, wiser, and smarter gives them immense confidence to find their footing in a new world. Another reason might be the bond of being in a society and creating new memories with their seniors while working with them throughout the year. “I feel the bond between seniors and juniors is more than just a bond; over the years, it has become a sort of tradition. Our seniors do for us, what their seniors did for them. And we will surely take this legacy forward,” said a student from the Theatre Society of Lady Shri Ram College for Women.

Mahi, a student of Miranda House shared that her seniors have always played the role of her parents whenever she needed them. “There have been so many instances where Saubhagya (her senior) has practically acted like my father. He has scolded me for being reckless on roads and has taken care of me when I was sick. Others too have essentially become my family, with whom I could crib all day about my problems.”

Sarah Jalil, a B.A (English) Hons student from Gargi College added that she doesn’t even like the term ‘junior’ anymore. She said “They are, in fact, my equals. The time I spent with them was truly special. I will cherish it as long as I will live.” Similarly Kinjal Pandey, Editor-in-Chief  2018-19, DU Beat applauded the enthusiasm she has seen and experienced in her juniors from DU Beat and her society. She stated “They had more ideas and enthusiasm. Saying that it’s a generation thing would be very dramatic since we are only a year older but I do see more enthu-cutlets in my juniors.”

Sincere thanks to all the seniors who are graduating this year. May all your dreams come true. In one way or the other you have brought a change in your juniors’ life, be it your daant (scolding) or your pyaar (love) , we will treasure those moments forever and ever.


Feature Image Credits: DU Beat

Sakshi Arora

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Display of affection has largely been limited to romantic relationships. Letters, well-thought-out presents, and grand gestures are often not extended to parents, old friends, grandparents, siblings, and cousins because we take them for granted, but life is unpredictable and we do not have the luxury to lose the opportunity to show our love.

Overt signs of affection include using kind words, verbally reminding the people in our lives that they are loved, going out of our way to make them feel better. More often than not, these gestures are not extended to the people we love the most. Telling your parents you love them sounds silly to a lot of people, “Of course I love them, they are my parents! I don’t need to say it out loud”, is the first thought that comes to mind. We spend a considerable chunk of our lives hiding positive emotions from the people closest to us while anger and resentment are readily expressed.

The biggest mistake we can make, in terms of interpersonal relationships is taking someone who matters a lot to us, for granted. Regret can be unforgiving to those who do not appreciate their gifts and the worst of all regrets is the regret to have not loved enough. Indian middle class households are particularly prone to be unnecessarily stiff, even when there is an ocean of emotion inside. Our parents show their love through “Did you eat” or “Please go to bed on time” rather than by “I love you” or “I am so proud of you”. But their hesitation towards showing love does not give us the license to do the same; it then falls upon us to ensure that we show them the love we feel, even if it is unprecedented in our household.

In our impatience and youth, our fearlessness and arrogance, we assume no harm can come to us or to the ones we care about. We aren’t hardened enough; our purview of the world is utopian. This makes take what we have for granted. Unfortunately, life is far from fair. Tragedy, loss, sickness, separation are an established truth, something we will eventually have to face. Perhaps then, we would regret our audacity and ungratefulness but that regret would come too late. It is therefore imperative that we show love to those we care about without the fear of sounding too sentimental. The greatest gift that human beings have is the gift of emotion; our emotions are complex and all-consuming and sometimes giving them free-reign is the best thing we can do. Therefore, love fearlessly and do not be afraid to let it be known.


Feature Image Credits: Catholic March

Kinjal Pandey
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Writing has never been difficult for me. I am better with words on paper than I am with words in speech. That was the idiosyncrasy that led me to DU Beat as a disillusioned first year student undergoing an identity crisis. However, as I sat down to write this Farewell note at the end of my time with this platform, I found myself at a loss for words. It’s clearly not easy saying goodbye to something that has been an integral part of my identity for the past three years.

DU Beat has continued to grow by leaps and bounds since its inception ten years ago, and it was an absolute honour to have had the chance to influence this growth during a period that saw great tumult and radical changes in the world, especially in the student community. We were at the forefront of covering important issues around the University throughout the year, including the DUSU elections and the events at Ramjas College earlier this year, and proudly stuck to our motto of ‘Freedom of Expression’.

What makes DU Beat great, apart from the fact that we are the one of the biggest campus publications in the country, is the amount and diversity of the opportunities it has to offer. Some apply looking for an internship experience, others do it for the want of a platform that gives space to their talent which their academic life has no scope for, and yet others – like yours truly – do it in search of a purpose to keep themselves engaged and energised during the course of their otherwise drab college lives. Everyone gets what they are looking for, and more. Working at DU Beat isn’t just writing articles, meeting deadlines and covering events. It is also finding yourself in unexpected situations and learning to adapt in order to come out at the top. It is on-ground, real-world experience that’s hard to come by for 20-year-old students so early in their career. It is finding kaleidoscopic minds coming together for riveting conversations who become teammates to work with and friends to depend on and meet outside of work. It is gruelling, challenging yet rewarding work, and laughter, appreciation and unwinding with a team that starts feeling like family. It was all of that for me for the past three years – a purpose, a family, a constant. By the end of your time here, you don’t realise most of the voids you came with because this place finds a way to fill them.

Out of all the things we achieved this year – from the increases in our readership to experimenting successfully with live platforms – I am the most proud of the team we’ve managed to put together. It is with a heavy heart but immense confidence that I leave this team we built in the capable leadership of Vineeta Rana, as the Editor for the year 2017-18, and Srivedant Kar, as the Associate Editor. With the satisfaction of having seen everyone in the team grow not only as journalists but also as people, I sign off from my duties as the Editor for 2016-17.


Shubham Kaushik