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How to Ruin the Next Semester- Instant Recipe

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A fresh bowl of a ruined semester is one of the most historical dishes of University of Delhi, passing from one batch to another as a legacy. Here is an easy to learn instant recipe to acheive your own ruined semester.

Cooking Time: 6 months

Cal: An average CGPA

Ingredients: 

  1. Previous Semester’s Grade
  2. Procrastination- 8 Cups
  3. Scrolling on Social Media- 3 Cups
  4. Bunking Sessions
  5. Proxies (optional)
  6. Failed Mass Bunks
  7. Feelings for Crush
  8. YouTube Videos
  9. Netflix (according to spice tolerance)
  10. Societies’ sessions
  11. Fest season
  12. Kasol trip (skip this step if impossible)
  13. Guilt Trip
  14. Tears 
  15. Previous Years’ Papers
  16. Coffee
  17. False Promises (suggested garnish)

Method:

  1. Take a pan and sauté the previous Semester’s Grade with undivided focus, add 2 tbsp of free periods spent in the library. Let it burn. Empty the residue at the back of your head.
  2. Take another pan to add 8 generous cups of procrastination, mix it with 3 cups of frequent scrolling on Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp. Let the mixture cook for 5 ½ months. (Caution: it may lead to allergic reactions like insomnia and lack of concentration during lectures. This may even compel you to miss your lectures scheduled at 8:45 am.)
  3. Grind a few innocent bunking sessions, adding a few drops of pleasant proxies might make the substance addictive in nature. Dry roast failed mass bunks and add it to render slight bitterness. Grind it till a paste is formed having a thick consistency. Add this paste to the pan. Let it cook on medium heat.
  4. At this point empty the newly developed feelings for your crush into a bowl. Marinate it with 2 cups of casual feed checks, several drops of attempts to start a conversation and a pinch of heart-burning. Take a smaller bowl and add romantic hypothetical situations along with 100 grams of cheesy pick up lines for a peculiar texture. Whisk as hard as you can till the emulsion starts bubbling. Now slowly drizzle 2 cups of realization that your crush is in a 3 years old relationship. Transfer the emulsion into the marinade and let it rest.
  5. Add earphones in a large skillet or pot (select a suitable size according to the time taken for you to reach home) over medium-high heat. When sizzling, add YouTube videos to taste. Stir occasionally. One may add mid-week Netflix binge-watching sessions according to their spice tolerance.
  6. Check the pan and stir it with a ladle to avoid the mixture from sticking to the bottom like your professors’ expectations from your assignments. Generously add society meetings, double the number of society meetings if you are in the dramatics society, further add deadlines and workload. Cut your soul into two halves, chop one of the two halves finely and sprinkle it for aesthetic beauty. Add the other half if you are organizing any fest.
  7. Transfer the contents of the pan into the pot. Let the sauce heat and flow over. 
  8. Turn on the “mid-semester break” exhaust when a pungent smell is observed. Take a break from the kitchen and go for a Kasol trip with friends. Now, remember about the fourth step and let your heart sink. Alcohol consumption may reduce heartburn.
  9. As soon as you start feeling alive, turn off the exhaust. At this point, you will realize that the kitchen is burnt. It is time to start all over again.
  10. Repeat step 1-7 and fail miserably.
  11. Take the last skillet available, place it on high heat and add 3 tbsp of semester date sheet, this may cause choking and loss of senses. 
  12. Frantically add 100 slices of guilt trip, a generous number of tears and finely chopped previous years’ papers. Stir vigorously and add infinite cups of coffee for better results.
  13. Garnish with false promises of hard work for the next semester. Serve when hot and burns self-confidence.

 

Feature Image Credits: Aditi Gutgut

Priyanshi Banerjee

[email protected]

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DUB Speak

The “Never-To-Happen” List of Semesters

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With the end of the semester, it’s that time of the year where we look back and think of all the things we could do.

The dreadful month with the semester exams are over. The endless preparation, extensive consumption of coffee and painstaking nights looking at the books while scratching the head are now all over. But end of the exams also marks the end of another six months of college, and we naturally end up evaluating the semester thinking about how things were and how they could have been.

Looking back at when the semester began, all of us remember the plans we had made and the things we had promised to do. We had made a plethora of points under the “not-to-do” list and the ones we wanted to do. There were six valuable months of the college life which we planned to spend by learning new skills and increase our knowledge. The list might have varied from joining internships, taking classes to being a part of the college societies. The main highlight of the list might have been the point to study seriously from the beginning of the semester. Now that the semester has ended, many of them seem a fantasy.

Time flies and this is probably the time when this fact hits us hard. We have all heard that college life is probably the best time of our lives. But this also happens to be the time when we shape ourselves for the future. The tug-of-war between making our resume and making memories seems to be never-ending. The semester that began with the most ambitious of targets ended up being filled up of nights that were spent drinking, the classes that were bunked, the most pointless of conversations that took place in the canteen and so much more. The thing is- this is what gave us joy.

But there’s always room for hope and improvement. So once again, with the coming of the new semester there will come a much planned and thoughtful list. This list will be much better than the previous one. This is will also have the points listed in a strategic manner such that the loopholes of the previous semester are covered. Some of us might also give ourselves the liberty of setting a bit more than what is possible. And all of us know the line, “If I set a big list, I’ll complete at least half of it.”

The process of preparing this list seems no less than a ritual and will probably be followed this semester as well. So let us all prepare our lists filling them up with the best and the most filtered points. But yes, let’s see how many boxes we tick this semester!

 

Feature Image Credits: IStock

Karan Singhania
[email protected]

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DUB Speak

What to Expect from the Even Semester

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The even semester is supposed to be a period of intense activity with its various fests, competitions, and events. Here’s all that you can expect from them in the upcoming months in University of Delhi.

Depending on various things, your expectations from the even semester will be different. For example, based on what year you’re in, you can be excited about attending fests for the first time, be somewhat excited remembering the fun events you attended the previous year, or be seriously dreading facing your last few months in college. Whether these expectations from this semester will be underscored by feelings of “This is the semester where I get my life together” or “We’re all gonna die in the end so how does one semester matter”, will depend on your standing on the optimistic/pessimist-Nihlist scale. Therefore, this is where a person who’s in the middle of both of those scales can help provide something resembling a sense of objectivity.

Firstly, fests are okay. There’s the usual range of food and things you can buy somewhere else for a slightly cheaper price. There’s the DJ Nights and the Star Nights, which are really something of a luck thing, and by luck I mean how much money your college manages to raise through sponsorships and alumni. If you get a good performer and a good atmosphere (which means as less overcrowding as possible and a crowd that isn’t breaking through the stage barricading), then you’re in for an enjoyable time. But as is with all college activities, the quality of company is essential. I’d suggest you go with friends who don’t like to document every single moment with photos and stories, and don’t whine too much about delays and general tardiness in organising.

Competitions and society fests are quite enjoyable, too. Unless you’re in the organising society/participating, in which case you have responsibilities, no time to watch the performances, and basically get only a few glimpses of the actual event. However, it is a great time to see other performances when you can, and bond with your fellow members.

So, as you go into the remainder of the year, remember to have reasonable expectations. Try to attend things, to see what works for other people, and it just might work for you!

 

Feature Image Credits: DU Beat
Rishika Singh
[email protected]

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