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sex-amma1

Q1: Amma, does kissing or licking a girl’s vagina equal having intercourse with her? Can it cause pregnancy?

ANS: Kids kids. I have to say this. Please send in your queries in a language, little more sophisticated. I mean sometimes I can’t help but picture an image in my mind which chokes my throat. Aiyo. And I am not going to entertain any mails sent to me asking me for my phone number, so please stop trying. I mean I am not used to being “hot property”. All i can tell you is that I just bought a new phone. It’s so expensive and I can’t even operate it properly yet. Tch tch. These technology leaps are just too much!!

Anyway, “kissing or licking a girl’s vagina” comes under something we call “oral sex” and THAT, my friends does not cause pregnancy. However I must warn you against having excessive oral sex because it can sometimes be a tad bit unhygienic, in fact more than a “tad bit” unhygienic. Hope that cleared up your misconceptions. Tchh kids these days ask the most ridiculous questions! Now have to move on to the next query. Namaskaram.

Q2: I have small problem. During intercourse I ejaculate very quickly. Can you suggest how I can stop that from happening? How can I prolong it? Looking forward to your reply

Ans: After the stupidity I’ve shown in answering the previous question, i think it is my duty now to sound intelligent and deal with a question of this “high” degree. Ahem ahem.

Now, Premature ejaculation is the most common of sexual problem in human males. It is, in fact, the default evolutionary norm. Delaying ejaculation has to be learned — it is an acquired skill. Pills like some anxiolytics do help, but dubious topical sprays and applications are a strict no-no. Even the pills ought only to be consumed through a prescription.

So there, another successful attempt of solving a query with utmost sophistication. I need a break now. An aromatic body massage and then I’m off to sleep. Bye bye till next time guys. Oh and “mwah mwah”!