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commonwealth games

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  1. During the week of the Games, if a foreigner beside you feels irritated about dirty surroundings and the tacky smell, shrug, wave a hand in front of your face and say, “I know! Wonder how people live here. I’m new too.”
  2. The most worrying issue is the traffic jams and bottle necks. DUB comes up with a brilliant solution which is sure to be welcomed by all: Closing down all government offices, schools and colleges for the duration of the games to avoid dense traffic on the roads. Now wouldn’t THAT be in the best interest of everyone?
  3. Disguise yourself as a homeless beggar and you will be whisked away by the authorities to some safely hidden spot far away from sight or smell of the games and any mortifying memory of it. Of course the reason you were whisked away in the first place is because you were part of the mortifying sights and smells.
  4. Always ensure there is an obese foreigner sitting in every metro train. That way you’ll have someone to blame each time the metro collapses.
  5. The Commonwealth Games start in October, the same time as the October break. So seize the opportunity and get out of Delhi. Go on a vacation to a galaxy far far away where you can’t possibly be linked to a city called Delhi.