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big foot theory

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Dear Amma, I’m a 19 year old girl and I’ve never gotten intimate. I’ve often heard people say that the bigger a man’s foot size, the bigger is his you-know-what. Recently, I have begun to get really aroused every time I see a guy with big shoes. It gets pretty embarrassing, especially in crowded public places, as I can’t stop staring and fantasizing. Please help!

Aiyyo, you poor misled machhi! A man’s feet and his crisp paper dosa are about as related as an idli and uthappam- The basic make up is similar, but the size, shape and thickness may vary greatly.
Although some studies have shown a correlation between the size of a man’s fingers and toes and the wonder down under, Amma knows better than to judge chutney by its colour. Once you have dipped your idlis in as many sambhars as I have, you will realise that sometimes a guppy fish is better endowed than a manly salmon. Even if your partner isn’t as hefty as you’d hoped, don’t spoil your batter. After all, it’s not the size of the dosa, but the quality if the masala that matters!

Once you realise how petty it is to worry about a dosa’s length, you will automatically stop gawking at Mr. Big Shoes. As for fantasizing in public places, who doesn’t? 😉