It’s no revelation that women apologize more readily than men. Women need to talk a lot more in public spheres and should not be worried about upsetting people and saying things in a ‘nice’ way.

Women apologize a lot, no second thoughts about that. I realized this first, few weeks into college. Instead of simply asking questions and inquiring about things I had no idea about, there I was, saying sorry unnecessarily. I misunderstood politeness with apologizing. Women know what I’m talking about. Men might find it difficult to relate to this.

The apologies women make, if you observe are often knee-jerk reactions. They say sorry even when they are clearly not at fault. Saying sorry for asking questions in class, saying sorry when presenting ideas before a group of people, saying sorry when asking someone to stop doing something that’s making them uncomfortable, the list is endless. Eventually, it ends up being an ice-breaker and a great conversation starter. You lose count after a point of time. It becomes so normalized that one inculcates it as a habit which refuses to leave.

Right from their childhood, women are expected to be polite. They are viewed as the more responsible gender, the gender which diffuses tension in unwarranted situations. They, very easily feel guilty. They usually put themselves under a lot of pressure to not upset anyone and be a people pleaser.  According to a 2010 Canadian study in the journal Psychological Science, women have a lower threshold for what requires an apology because they are more concerned with the emotional experiences of others and in promoting harmony in relationships. The word ‘sorry’ is used to soften the blow and to confront people in unavoidable situations. “Women believe that they are making people mad when they’re speaking up”, says Radhika Nair, a second year student from Shaheed Rajguru College of Applied Sciences. “I sometimes think that we are expected to be very grateful for whatever opportunities we are bestowed with”, says Annmary Alex Thomas, an Ambedkar University student.

It is often seen that women tend to say sorry more for feeling a certain way, for not coming across as a woman who’s ‘difficult’ or ‘emotional’. Indian women, who are financially dependent on their family or husband, believe that they have no right whatsoever to express their opinions during family discussions given that they do not earn.

Ladies, listen up. Do not say sorry when someone encroaches upon your private space. Do not say sorry for your choices, indulgences, views and opinions. Your over-apologizing shows your lack of confidence in yourself. Instead, challenge the status quo and break free from the realms of conformity. Start checking the number of times you say sorry in personal conversations, over the email. You might have been conditioned to internalize this attitude but it’s in your hands to shift this attitude. Be unapologetically you!

Image Credits: Monster.com


Disha Saxena 

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Being apologetic about the mistakes that you made is a good quality but saying sorry for the sake of it is not good. We express regret for things which are a part of our personality and have no control over. It’s time to stop saying ‘sorry’ for every little thing.

I am one of the people who apologize profusely, sometimes for no reason at all. We often say ‘sorry’ in the spur of the moment without even thinking twice. However, for certain things, one shouldn’t feel guilty for and offer apologies.

Taking a break– It’s okay to take time off and take a moment to just breathe. In this technological world, every day has become super hectic, with one being just a call or a text away. All of this can be overwhelming and can lead to burnout. One should not have any feelings of guilt while taking a break, guilt of being unproductive. It’s important to stop sometimes, for your own good, especially when being overwhelmed with work.

Expressing your opinion– One should not be afraid to use their voices to express what they think and feel. Nobody wishes to hurt others’ feelings or let people down but the truth must be spoken. It’s important to raise our voices and freely express ourselves when something doesn’t feel right.

Being yourself– You’re what you’re today because of the experiences you had. You may not be at your best today. However, one should work hard every day to become the best version of them. Nobody is perfect and hence, one should be a little gentle to themselves. We all make mistakes and it’s a part of the process. Stop being so harsh on yourself and keep your head held high.

Asking for help– You can’t always stay strong. You fear that by showing that you’re being weak at your lowest point you are being vulnerable and that someone would take advantage. However, that’s not the case. After all, you’re a human. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s totally fine to ask someone for help if the situation wants you to. Do not listen to your ego which tells you otherwise.

Putting an end to unhealthy relationships– It can be so unpainful to let go of people who were once a huge part of your life. However, if that person is destroying your mental health then it’s time to let go. Everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated. Also, you should not feel bad for doing this.

Displaying emotions– Some people are uncomfortable with the fact that a small percentage of people like to show their emotions. They can’t seem to deal with the rawness and honesty of the emotions and end up asking you to suppress them. That’s not a healthy approach to have. One should express their emotions freely and should never be ashamed for being upfront about them.

Feature Image credits – The Swaddle

Disha Saxena

[email protected]