Q: My problem is simple. I have a ” so-called” friend of Face book who’s pretty and nice and all those things I’d want to “see” in her. But she’s kind of a B-list online friend for me and I don’t fancy a lot of things she does. Will it be rude if I click the “remove friend” tab against her name. It’s not hampering my social life or anything, so I don’t feel the need really. But it just doesn’t feel right man. What do i do?

A: Haha I should probably adopt you. Ditching my “B-list online pals” has started to become my favourite pass time. I’ve been pestering my Google with this (eh Google here is not my dog) and guess what, the New Oxford American Dictionary officially named unfriend the “it” word of 2009. Please please join my bandwagon for I’ve done the world a great deed by ID-ing the reasons which should tell you that it’s time to kick the “so-called” friends out of your social networking life. So I’m going to wear my most gorgeous sari and put on my dark glasses and shout to tell you to CHECK-THIS-OUT!

#1. She’s a firm believer that you can learn a lot about your health from your poop — and has the status updates to prove it.

#2.  You’ve only met her once but he “likes” everything you do on Facebook. Uh, stalk much?

#3. You’re pretty sure she doesn’t wear a dress and veil everyday, but the girl can’t stop posting pics of her.

#4. For those of you who’re “committed”, your girlfriend changing her status to single without breaking up in person. UNFRIEND NOW!

#5. One word: Farmville. (Even though I’m a big fan but UNFRIEND because I’m allowed, I’m sex amma).

#6. She might not be on The Biggest Loser but for some reason she wants the entire world to know what she had for lunch, how many miles she just ran, and when she is sweating it out at the gym!

#7. She has a passion for tagging you in all those random “best pals on face book” photos. She’s obviously hinting a bit too much. Maybe she should try getting the hint.


#9.  She added you hoping to “re-connect” but it’s been 10 years since you accepted the request and STILL haven’t “re-connected”!

#10. You call her “mom”!

I can never mean to favour the male sex. I’m fond of them but I love my sisters a lot more. So for all my girlies, just replace the she with a he. I would’ve ripped them boys had a girl sent in this question. Happy Face Book-ing to my bachchas. 🙂


For your ears and not your digestive systems

Hot Rats is Frank Zappa’s second solo album post The Mothers and was released in 1969. It consists of six tracks with a collective length of almost an hour and in the Grand Wazoo’s own words, “it is a movie for your ears”. One of the key features of this album is the remarkable editing and post-recording work done by Zappa himself. As for the ominous album cover, it gives the expression, ‘rose-tinted’ a completely new meaning.

Hot Rats is primarily an instrumental album with Willie the Pimp being the only exception; consequently, the album title was taken from this song. The peculiar and raspy vocals seem just right for the bawdy lyrics, which also reflect Zappa’s tendency of writing songs in the first person, placing himself as the eponymous character as always. Technically sound music and at the same time far more vibrant and human than any of its rivals in this department. Another realization that might strike you through the course of the album is that Zappa sure had a knack of picking the right talent as is evident by the more than able and flawless rhythm section. Ian Underwood of course has his virtuosity stamped all over the album with numerous instruments ranging from the flute to the organ, particularly in The Gumbo Variations, which is basically a legendary sixteen minute jam, and in which Underwood manages to hold his own with the saxophone. The way he makes the instrument shriek, bark and bray, is just insane! Regarding Zappa himself, his characteristic complex chronological structures are evident in all the compositions, a clear influence of his penchant for classical music. There are the typical rock n’ roll and blues licks, and then the psychedelic aspects of Zappa’s music. Unlike Floyd, it is a fast-paced brand of psychedelia but not of the dismal variety that is called modern psych or trance. Of course, Zappa’s influences derived from the avant-garde movement find ample space throughout the album, particularly in the form of his eccentric and brilliant guitar solos. The album starts with Peaches en Regalia, which at just about three and a half minutes is one of the shorter songs, and yet it stands out for its complex structure and sheer musical genius. You know you are in for a ride as soon as the drum intro begins.

Son of Mr. Green Genes puts the ripple and flutter effects to excellent use without sounding repetitive. Little Umbrellas, the shortest song of the album has to its credit a simply superb bass line and rhythm, which gradually oscillates between eeriness and cheerfulness. As for the final song, It must be a Camel, Zappa achieves an ineffable effect with the help of somewhat muffled drumbeats and guitar notes. The almost robotic and hypnotic interlude is captivating to say the least. A special mention to the judicious use of violins throughout the album, although the flutes have been woefully underplayed. Oh, and don’t eat the yellow snow!


‘Project Smoke’-Blue Frog records

Ashutosh Phatak and Dhruv Ghanekar, celebrated names in the fashion music circles and ad jingle world have put their collective music talent together for Smoke Signals, the debut album of the duo’s Project Smoke.

Smoking Signals boasts of music that is beyond boundaries. It successfully and aesthetically brings together a very bohemian fusion of western symphonies, Sufi rock, Indian classical, electronica and even traditional Indian thumri. The diagonally opposite music interests of Ashu and Dhruv have resulted in this exceptionally interesting album.

For the uninitiated, they are the same duo which composed music for offbeat movies like Bombay Boys and White Noise. Ashu, a graduate in Western Classical Music Theory from University of Pennsylvania has been professionally composing music for the last 15 years. Dhruv began studying Indian Classical Music at the age of nine with Suresh Wadkar and also continued his study under great sarangi exponent Sultan Khan. He has performed and worked with great musicians like Karl Peters, Louis Banks and Adrian D’souza and continues to compose music in virtually all genres.

Interestingly, this album was actually made for a fashion designer’s show 5 years back and when their dues weren’t cleared, the duo came up with this idea of releasing the album and saving the effort of writing new songs.

There are nine tracks in the album. The opening track Windy is a nice soothing song and surely gives positive vibes about things to come. Another interesting track is Tsunami which sounds like an intoxicated Sufi rhythm and not like someone cashing in on the agony of the victims. There’s something for jazz lovers and even gothic metal fans.

All in all, its a contemporary album with all the right elements thrown in. So, if you need a break from the ear deafening hard rock and the dreamy Bollywood music, this is the album to look up to.