“I am in the final-year of college, and there is a junior (first-year) whom I’ve liked for a while. A few days ago at a party, he also came up to me and said he liked me and we made out. He is very interested and has asked me out on a date, but I have my doubts of being in a relationship with a boy younger than me. What should I do?”
Amma can understand what your troubles are, my little idli. People create this unnecessary stereotype that, in a relationship, the man has to be older and dominant while the girl should always be younger and submissive, which doesn’t make any sense.
I feel that a healthy relationship where both are equals. First, my macchi, you need to ask yourself what your stand is. If you really like this person and want to be with him exclusively, ensure that you have a good physical and emotional connection with him. If your inhibitions are just restricted to societal demands of girls always dating or being with boys older than them, then my dear macchi, have no doubts and go for it. But if, in any way, your inhibitions are regarding your attraction towards this boy, then you should give it another thought.
Amma tells you with a lot of experience that every relationship holds an emotional commitment between two individuals, and you just have to make sure that you are clear with your partner about your interests in the relationship, or else it can create a khatta sambhar in your lives. Once you are clear about what you want, go out on lovely dates, and have a great time, disregarding the age factor in the relationship, and treat him like an equal.
Only then will you both be able to fight the societal norms of an ‘older girl dating younger boy’ stereotype and make this thing work. Amma wishes you all the best, and don’t forget to spend some naughty time to add masala in your life with this new boy of yours!
(Write to sex amma at sexamma@ dubeat.com to get all your queries about sex answered.)