DUB Speak

To date or not to date?

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Our generation is called out for many things, but it is mostly looked down upon for being selfish in relationships. Why is it considered so wrong to put your needs ahead of someone else’s?

It is 2018, and no one in our generation knows how to date. What’s more interesting is that they are aware of it and making the conscious decision not to step into a relationship at all. It is 2018, and dating is now only casual. Why is that? We are the products of a generation that gave up most things, including dignity, to sustain a relationship and having seen how exhausting it can be, we choose not to date. We are currently living in an era where we are trying to change the essence of relationships from needing to be selfless and forgiving to giving equal importance to ourselves and our goals first.

How is this a bad thing? Why is this transition from unhealthy relationships to self-love looked down upon? We’re in our 20s, not knowing what the future holds in store for us, not being sure of what we need – is it fair to add a relationship to the list when we don’t even know what we want? Our 20s are the only time we’ll get to experiment, to try new things, and to know ourselves better. Whether you decide to date or not to date in this time and age, you will realise how tender this age is to understand others before you even understand yourself.

Gone are the times when people would choose love over their career; it almost feels like there isn’t even an option of “love” anymore. And that is selfish, but being selfish isn’t wrong here. Thinking about yourself first is a sign of maturity that the previous generations were alien to, and putting your needs before someone else’s is a concept that they don’t understand, but should. Don’t let them make you feel bad about your dating life. We’re doing a favour to the next generation by building a foundation of healthier relationships.


Anagha Rakta
[email protected]

Head of Web at DU Beat (2017-18), and a passionate writer from Miranda House, with a sweet tooth and a funny bone.

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