Delhi University and its administration have been through a couple of topsy-turvy years, resulting in each of the three current batches operating under different programs- the ex- Four Year Undergraduate Program, the Three Year Program, and the Choice Based Credit System. With a new Vice Chancellor in power, the university seems eager to leave behind this mess and enter the next academic session with a clean slate. The buzz is that DU might introduce a ‘phone a friend’ option during exams to help all students pass so that the current lot studying in these mismatched programs graduate as soon as possible.
The university’s eagerness to wash hands off the ex- FYUP batch became apparent when they issued a notification last semester passing every student, even those who hadn’t even filled out examination forms. Speaking exclusively to our correspondent, a senior professor, Ms. Halka Alka said, “We have held many meetings this semester thinking of how to get rid of this batch of guinea pigs. After narrowing it down to allowing either pharre or the phone a friend option, we are leaning towards the latter because the method has been promoted by superstars and DU alumni, Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan on their TV show.”
Time stipulations and a restriction on the number of calls are yet to be announced but as Ms. Halka Alka further divulged, “We want to pass all students, but we can’t make the phone a friend lifeline too easy an option. After all, we strictly condemn cheating!” Like always, the Delhi CM seems to have sniffed out the real scam behind this lifeline option, claiming that the government has colluded with telecom giant UnReliance to make money off the aam students through these phone calls.
Disclaimer : Bazinga is our weekly column of almost believable fake news. You will still have to rely on old methods to pass these examinations (we mean studying, of course)!
Vani Vivek
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