DUB Speak

What if Santa was real? – List of bizarre and unrealistic wishes on Christmas

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The difference between the meanings of Christmas Spirit is set out clearly for different kinds of ‘Christmas people’. While some core believers decorate Christmas trees and celebrate the ‘chilled’ out festival, a few satisfy themselves with usual day and night routine. For me this Christmas spirit means sipping on hot chocolate as Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen on TLC develops the habit of repeated runs.

A few party to relive the lost Christmas memories whereas others really don’t care about Santa. The ones who care are always pondering upon the fact of Santa being a celebrity whom nobody has ever met. I always wonder though, what if Santa was real? What if the cookies and milk you kept on the table were actually not there the next morning and those beautifully wrapped presents were actually gracing your living room sofa or the Christmas tree?

What if Santa was real? There is of-course a list of bizarre and unrealistic demands that people will make.

Delhi University kids first, would be probably wishing for the semester exam results to not be declared on Christmas day since the rumours have already started. Howsoever lame this wish maybe but its non-fulfillment also won’t bog down our spirits for Christmas.

Smriti Irani in the meanwhile would hold a meeting with Santa with agendas on setting up the very first international IIT in North Pole. Narendra Modi would probably ask for another foreign visit to the North Pole and hold talks about collaborations for the Swatch Bharat-North Pole Abhiyan (because he can’t get enough of them already).  Arvind Kejriwal who is always fighting his problem of feeling cold, will ask Santa to gift him a heater and help him get rid of his title of ‘mufler man’.

Navjot Singh Sidhu would probably crack a Santa Banta joke and shoo him away whereas Rajnikanth who supposedly has all the powers to make his wishes a reality won’t ask for anything from Santa.

If Santa was real, a few others won’t let him go before taking a ride on his sleigh (because if Santa is real, he has reindeers and a pretty sleigh). We would also demand evidence in the form of a million selfies followed with a billion hashtags.

Last running to touch the boundaries of unrealistic demands; these people would want to spend an entire day with Santa. Imagine yourself booking a train ticket on IRCTC and entering the second name as ‘Mr. Santa Claus’, which maybe isn’t his real name.

What if you see your friend just casually walking around with Santa? He is found sharing lame and funny conversations with him, high-fiving him or taking those occasional selfies.

Kids would highlight their wishes around Disneyland and toy-guns whereas old people would just ask Santa to spend a little time with them, a wish that is not bizarre at all. Go visit your dadu’s room, maybe you find your grandfather hugging  Santa and asking for this little treat without getting cheesed off by his half sunken mask and  nonexistent belly (that’s how most of them look here, right?)

So enjoy around this world of imaginations and have a Merry Christmas 🙂

Image credits:blogs.wsj.com

Mehr Gill loves to paint and sketch and doodle and create. She's pursuing Economics from Shri Ram College of Commerce and believes that she is super funny in a non pretentious way. ( yes , that came from the Pretentious movie reviews)

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