DUB Speak

Ways to Deal With the Stress of Getting Bullied

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‘They say I am too fat, they say I am too dark, they say I am the culprit. They say I am not worthy of living in this world. If I have sinned then I should be punished. But this is not punishment, its torture.’

These words were embedded in a diary which I used to maintain when I was in the 7th Standard. While there are so many people who feel that their school life has had a positive effect on their life, I felt quite the opposite.
I did learn how to speak, how to behave, how to respect elders within the school hours but the School bus ride had always been no less than a horror to me. Getting ‘beaten’ by seniors was just an understatement. While I got beaten, I was often laughed at by my peers and juniors. What made me deserve such a ‘prize’? (That’s what they used to call it), was something that I never could understand, though I had decided to deal with the stress in my own way:


 Accepting yourself for who you are:

“Someday I’ll fly, Someday I’ll soar. Someday I’ll be so damn much more, Cause I’m bigger than my body gives me credit for” – Bigger than my body, John Mayer

This is probably the most important advice that you will hear and should take into account, for without this embedded into your mind, you will never get over the mental frustration and stress. You might be socially awkward, you might be gay or you might be impatient, but do not change your self for the sake of others because doing so always results in catastrophe as a result of imitating ‘something’ you are not.


Finding a creative outlet for the stress and the anger:

“Dedicate yourself and you are going to find yourself, standing in the hall of fame
and the world’s gonna know your name”
– Hall Of Fame – The Script

This is the most constructive step that you can take to mitigate your mental frustration. I always had a knack for writing. If there was anything to let out my frustration with, it was writing. I started writing songs when I was in 9th grade which slowly motivated me to sing and play music. There are so many ways by which you can divert your anger. While painting and Photography are other common options, learning martial arts or boxing are the unorthodox ones.


 Being strong enough to tell your parents:

“Have no fear for giving in, have no fear for giving over. You know that in the end it’s better to say to say too much than never to say what you need to say” – Say, John Mayer

While you have ‘friends’ to help you out in some cases, it is your parent/ guardian who is most likely to come to your need. In the beginning it was always a challenge for me to tell my parents. I was scared to tell them that their son was ‘weak’, ‘awkward’ and ‘unorthodox’. But when it became absolutely necessary, they were the ones led the charge. They gave me confidence and the power to look past all the barriers and understand that it feels awesome to be who you are.


Sharing your life with those having similar problems:

“They are here to listen, they are your counterparts. They are who you are but they are not you. That’s the catch. It’s time to share with your match.”

The first time my school got the whiff of what I had been going through mentally, I was sent to my school counsellor. There I was made to sit next to people who were either insolent or were ill – fated ‘outcasts’ like me. We would often discuss about how we were bullied and what the people who bullied us, told us while they would give us the ‘prize’. The insolent ones would often turn out to have anger management issues. They would however feel more than happy to join us as they could see that there were people other than them who knew how to channelize their anger into things that produced constructive results. In spite of all the negativity shared, we came out of the room smiling.


Finding someone who accepts you for who you are:

“These labels that they give you just cause they don’t understand, if you look past this moment, you’ll see you’ve got a friend, waving a flag for who you are ” – Invisible, Hunter Hayes

Be it your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend or your sibling, these are the people who are always there to motivate you. They are the ones who chose you, over others and are the ones who are bound to bring a smile to your face. Your part of this trade is to keep this relationship intact. For once this jewel is lost or ‘stolen’, it is hard to get it back.

Image Credits: Mehr Gill

Ishaan Sengupta believes meeting people and understanding their differences gives him kick and a good trip. Hailing from the city of joy, he carries along with him the bong culture of "living and breathing" music, food and art. The socially awkward correspondent in team, he's currently pursuing a Bachelor with Honors in Economics from Motilal Nehru College. His favorite cartoon shows are Teletubbies and Dragon Ball Z. Do drop him a mail at [email protected] in case you want to give him some free advice or want to meet him personally.

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