Bazinga: DUSU elections procedure changed, candidates to appear on ‘Bigg Boss’ Season 8!

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In a bizarre turn of events, Delhi University has decided that DUSU contenders will be sent to Bigg Boss’ house, through which the Union will be selected this year. Reportedly, the last 4 candidates to remain un-evicted in the house will be declared winners of the election.

“Once you’re elected, DUSU is all about being popular, sitting on your butt and getting paid for it. Co-incidentally, that’s also what Bigg Boss is about. Thus this move came to our minds naturally. It will be the perfect training,” said a senior DU official.

Many candidates are depressed. A few can be spotted blankly mumbling “so please vote and support” to themselves around campus. A student reported that his classmate, who is a DUSU candidate, has been littering his house with posters and cards of himself in utter despair.

The change of process is also aimed at increasing voter turnout; a front DUSU elections have always weak at. Some students, however, are concerned about the carrots they are fed by political parties every year. “I hope this does not mean I will not get free movie tickets and popcorn vouchers,” a worried student told us.

The creators of Bigg Boss, if no one else, are busy preparing for the extravaganza. Sources say that the signature baritone of Bigg Boss will be heard voicing relevant messages like “Bigg Boss chaahte hai ki aap protest karke dikhaye”. DU offered its own website for the purpose of online voting but the proposal was laughed off by the creators.

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news.

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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