Bazinga: Delhi University to introduce mid day meals in colleges!

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Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

After its success in government schools, the government has directed Delhi University to make its students fall in line with thalis and katoris in their hands to avail the benefits of Mid-Day Meal scheme.

“The food we served in schools was so good that children felt like they were in heaven, eating in God’s arms! In fact, some didn’t return from there! After such reviews, we decided to expand the scheme. We want DU students to feel heaven as well,” said Daalmay Kala, a senior government official.

The announcement has invited word from all corners of the University. Foreign students have expressed delight. “Delhi’s food is popular across the world! I’ve already tasted chaat from Chandni Chowk and Chole Bhature from Bengali Market. I’m sure mid-day meals will be the icing on the cake,” said a student from New York.

There would be a mid day meal break scheduled for students in all colleges in which the food will be served. In order to inculcate healthy eating habits among college students, the consumption of the meal would be compulsory for all students. There shall be proper attendance marked for the same and it’ll also account for certain percentage of internal assessment marks.

Additionally, the menu is rumoured to have been leaked. Reportedly, the only 5 items on it are Pani Puri, Bhalla Papri, Bhel Puri, Tikki and Chowmein. While one politician reiterated his belief that when girls eat Chowmein, they are calling for rape, other political wings are alleging that the sole purpose of this scheme is to make DU students sick so they can’t storm the campus and protest anymore. However, the canteen proprietors have now started a protest as the mid day meal scheme of University of Delhi is eating into the business of canteens.

Student associations have been protesting against the lack of infrastructure to support such a scheme in DU. We contacted a member of DU’s Executive Council to comment. On condition of anonymity, the member said, “DU is one step ahead of everyone. We have already found the solution to the problem. We will be directing colleges to sell off the now-waste FYUP laptops and use the money to buy plates and other utensils; alternatively they could use the technique of barter. To provide for the food, we’re obviously going to use the OBC fund.”

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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