Bazinga: Freshman disappointed; sues producers for false image of college life

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Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

In an unprecedented event, a first year student of a reputed college sued Bollywood producers after he realised his college was a world apart from what he’d been seeing in movies.

“I didn’t know what to do in that place,” said Khayali Pulao, the complainant. “I spent so much money on waxing and swimming classes, but I couldn’t find a single swimming pool in my college, let alone bikini-clad girls. When I asked my seniors if I’ll be able to go to Australia and play sports, they asked me if I had lost my way. I sat in all classes, wishing I would find a teacher I could crush on. I found nothing. I even went to the library in search of love at first sight but all I saw was a panting dog sitting under the fan. Then I saw a group of students and it awoke dead hopes but my bubble burst when I realised they were protesting against lack of drinking water. I could have sold tea and contested Lok Sabha elections, or run a chole bhature joint and earned lakhs,” said Pulao.

He demands the producers compensate him with the money he’s already spent and the opportunity cost he lost by giving up the other options.

Mahesh Fatt, one of the producers who has been sued, argues that his movies are as wrong as the budgets that are presented in Parliament. This statement provoked all political parties to defend themselves. While one of the 47 panelists on a Hindi news channel demanded a CBI ‘jaanch‘, another asked when ‘Achhe din‘ for students in India will arrive.

Disclaimer: Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly column of almost believable fake news!

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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