Bazinga: Delhi University bans fests, calls them ‘unnecessary extravaganza’

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Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly dose of  almost-believable fake news!

DU on recommendation of a special committee, has declared a complete ban on any cultural events, college festivals, department fests, competitions, quizzes and panel discussions being conducted across the colleges of university w.e.f. February 1st. The decision has been taken in wake of college authorities splurging over the unnecessary extravaganza.

“The fests are against the culture of India, where study place is considered to be as auspicious as a temple, No dancing, singing or Red Bull intake is acceptable here.” said Mr. Pee. Kay. Tunn, a committee member. The University has asked all societies to do away with their preparations and end all dialogues with the logistic providers, caterers and expected guest of honours. Also, a standing referendum is expected to be passed from the next academic year, where in all societies shall stand dissolved and 85% attendance would be made compulsory for all students irrespective of backgrounds, gender or the ‘under the table setting’ with professors.

A special penalty is introduced on colleges holding MUNs which to our bad luck, happen in every college at an alarmingly high frequency. The funds that shall be saved by banning fests shall be utilized by the University for the much needed welfare of the FYUP batch kids and and hiking the salaries of honest and hardworking professors. As the winds of change sway, the decision is being protested against by DU students.  The colleges’ union members are in a state of shock, poor souls; college fests were the only things they ever did!

Bazinga is DU Beat’s weekly dose of  almost-believable fake news!

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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