Humouroscope: 21st – 27th July

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It’s rainy season. Not a good season to be wearing your best dress and walking on a road full of puddles and whizzing cars, unless you want to start playing Holi a little early.

Beware of half eaten worms in your apple. The other half has already found its way down your food pipe.

Don’t use a friend’s phone to check your Facebook account. You will forget to log out and disaster will strike in terms of social embarrassment.

It’s a little too early to be thinking about hitting on that cute fresher. It might be wiser to know his/her sexual orientation first.

Do not re-gift any of your old unused gifts. You will end up gifting them to the same person you received them from.

It’s a good time to send in your sex query to Sex Amma. She’s been waiting for you.

Try to avoid the impending bad hair day. You’re going to bump into your ex at the metro station.

You will leave an unfinished toffee on your bed side table. And wake up to an army of red ants invading your room.

Don’t pick your nose in the class. You will be seen. And the video will be circulated.

You will be bombarded with banana peels from a bus full of school kids on your way to the market. Scare them away with your scary growl.

A chewing gum under a college desk is waiting since Friday to be stuck to a lucky finger. It may be yours.

Your mother will force you to watch reruns of Uttaran with her for hours and hours. Make sure to sit with a box of tissues.

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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