DUB Speak

Kyunki Daag Acche Hai

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Holi is round the corner and the balloon bombardment has begun! However, some people love it dirty and disgusting. Here are ten tips for those who don’t think colors and water cover the essence of the festival.

EGGS: Eggs are the first choice because they not only stink but really hurt when hit from a distance. They are slimy and once stuck to your clothes, hard to get off. Egg throwers should eggspect a few tears!

TOMATOES: Some people have taken inspiration from the Spanish Tomatina festival and started using tomatoes on Holi. If you like it even dirtier, save up some rotten tomatoes!

BIRD POOP: Yes, people do use bird poop. Mix it with gulal and smear it on people’s faces and you will get more than a few disgusted looks. So beware!

MUD: Wet mud i.e., keechad has always been a hot favorite on Holi. Apart from rubbing it on others’ faces, you can mix it with water and fill your balloons with it.

TOOTHPASTE: It is used just like gulal and has an upside too. It comes off easily. However some super smart people grab the mouth and rub it over your teeth!

GOBAR: Even though it is extreme, people love to make others puke on Holi. One gobar cake per head is just about enough to make anyone hurl.

INK: Fill it in you pichkaris and spray it on people. This is one colour that’s never coming off! Plus there are plenty of options, there is blue, black, red and even green. It’s liquid gulal that stays.

GREASE: Grease, not the pukka rang, but the oiling paste used in vehicles. It is black, thick, oily and extra sticky. For anyone wanting to make their Holi a notch dirtier, this is the thing to use.

SAUCES: They offer a wide range of choice and are edible, which is definitely a good thing. There is tomato sauce, barbeque, mustard and many more. Let’s not forget the chutneys-Coconut, mint, tamarind and many other varieties.

SPIT: You are your own manufacturer; you always have it and have enough of it! Spit in your hand, add gulal and smear it on your enemies’ face! Make sure he knows spit is involved otherwise where’s the fun?

You would be better off not using a few of these because the repercussions are definitely not going to be pretty!

Picture Credits: festivalsofindia-bb-blog.blogspot.com

[email protected]; I am into my second year of BMMMC that is Bachelor of Mass Media and Mass Communication from Indraprastha College for Women. I love to read novels, and my favorite genre is thrillers. I’m a huge foodie who loves to bake! I believe that life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the number of moments that take your breath away!

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