HUMOURSCOPE : Horoscope and Admissions with a twist!

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Aries (March 21 – April 20):

Very soon your Facebook status message will say “Made it to SRCC!!” – Lucky for you your friends don’t know that your “SRCC” means “Sadly Registering for Correspondence Courses”.

Taurus (April 21 – May 21):

Your temper will be at an all time high as people keep asking you for water and stepping on your feet in the line. We suggest carrying extra water and wearing proper shoes instead of silly oshos.

Gemini (May 22 – June 21):

Your admission days will bring you long endless lines, heat, humidity, crowded spaces under shady trees, dried up water dispensers, indecipherable application forms and lack of patience. That’s it, though, for these weeks excitement.

Cancer (June 22 – July 22):

The stars sympathise with you as you drop your heavy files containing all admission documents and let out a string of colourful profanities while the college principle is within earshot. Have fun explaining that to him!

Leo (July 23 – August 21):

A grey haired, bespectacled old babu in a college’s admin office will shout at you for asking a question and ruining his siesta. Revenge can be sought by spitting in his cup of tea and then running away fast.

Virgo (August 22 – September 23):

Later this week you will have a heated argument with a would be-senior at your would-be college. Don’t worry about it because on your first day, he/she will be nice enough to engage you in fun activities involving poles, ropes, leaves and music.

Libra (September 24 – October 23):

A short bout of diarrhoea this week makes you wish you hadn’t hogged in all those college cafes. This is exactly what happens to bad children who insist on sampling cafe food while their mummies and daddies stand in line for admission forms.

Scorpio (October 24 – November 22):

Now is a good time to get used to strong unpleasant body odours. Don’t feel too bad if you don’t smell spring fresh for admissions because by the time you’re done with them, you won’t have a clue of what spring smells like.

Sagittarius (November 23 – December 22):

A poem for the gruelling times ahead:

Twinkle twinkle little star, the admissions this year will be bizarre,
Also with cut-offs so high, you will beat your head while you cry.

Capricorn (December 23 – January 20):

Mars is unusually bright in your charts this week, just like the sun will be on all the days of your application, interviews, and entrance exams. It would be a good idea to carry an umbrella to poke the people standing behind you and in front—oh ya; you can also use it to protect yourself from the sun.

Aquarius (January 21 – February 19):

The stars predict a week filled with immense nervousness, confusion and perspiration while filling your admission forms due to the presence of hot fuchhaas around you. We suggest you concentrate more on your entrance exam roll number instead of that pretty girl’s phone number.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20):

Wear the same unwashed bright yellow shirt when you go for submitting your application forms. This way, people would avoid standing next to you in a line and would let you through. Either that or they will simply throw you out of the line. Good luck!

Journalism has been called the “first rough draft of history”. D.U.B may be termed as the first rough draft of DU history. Freedom to Express.

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